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Did Carl of Swindon — aka Sargon of Akkad — just destroy an entire political party? An analysis, with memes

Fake news — or all too real?

By David Futrelle

The results are in for the European elections, and as a confused American I have no idea what they mean, for the UK or Europe as a whole. (I’ll leave the explanations to people who understand this better than me.)

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YouTuber-turned-UKIP-candidate Carl “Sargon of Akkad” Benjamin hits the campaign trail, and it’s going alt-great

I don’t know why I gave him two heads. Sorry.

By David Futrelle

As you may have heard, YouTube shitlord Carl Benjamin — known as Sargon of Akkad, though he’s actually from Swindon — recently made his debut as a candidate for the European Parliament running on the racist UK Independence Party (UKIP) ticket. And it went alt-great, by which I mean the opposite of great.

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UK Political Donor Demetri Marchessini: Women In Trousers Are Destroying Western Civilization

Marlene Dietrich oppressing man with her trousers.
Marlene Dietrich oppressing man with her trousers.

Demetri Marchessini is a retired Greek business tycoon, living in London, and has been a major donor to the right-wing, anti-immigrant UK Independence Party (UKIP). He also has some, let’s say, eccentric views about gay people, black people, women, and trousers, views so, er, eccentric that the folks in UKIP are a little embarrassed to be associated with him. Given that UKIP is filled with bigots in all varieties, that’s quite something.

In an interview last week with Britain’s Channel 4, Marchessini expounded at length on some of his more colorful views. He told interviewer Michael Crick that marital rape was impossible, because “you can’t have rape if you make love on Friday and make love on Sunday, you can’t say Saturday is rape. Once the woman accepts, she accepts.”

He argued that there is no such thing as homosexual love, only lust, because “they go out at nights and they pick up 5, 10, 15 different partners in one night.” Even gays in committed relationships are basically just roommates who still cruise for anonymous sex partners.

And he suggested that black slaves were better off as slaves in America than they would have been living in Africa, because if they survived the passage they lived longer.

But let’s just talk about the trouser thing. Marchessini thinks women should be banned from wearing trousers, because otherwise they just might bring about the end of western civilization.