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Oh my Lorem! The Sarkeesian Effect premiere was an even more glorious fiasco than we could have possibly imagined

This popcorn is delicious indeed.
This popcorn is delicious indeed.

Last night was the grand premiere of The Sarkeesian Effect (Team Jordan Owen Edition), and the response from critics and audience members alike has been overwhelming!

That video of crickets has gotten more than 3,344,825 views on Youtube. That’s 371,647 times the number of people who apparently showed up at the Sarkeesian Effect premiere/#GamerGate Meetup at the Landmark Midtown Art Cinema in Atlanta last night.

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#gamergate antifeminism cuteness dark enlightenment davis aurini dawgies literal nazis men who should not ever be with women ever oppressed white men post contains jokes post contains sarcasm racism reactionary bullshit red pill sarkeesian!

Candid photo of Davis Aurini, white nationalist on paper

Aw, who's a little racist? You're a little racist! Please poop on the paper please.
Aw, who’s a tiny racist? You’re a tiny racist! Please poop on the paper please.

Davis Aurini, the bald half of the Sarkeesian Effect brain trust, has famously declared himself “a huge white nationalist on paper.”

The candid photo above, which I definitely did not assemble using photoshop ten minutes ago, reveals that this is not entirely true. He is, in fact, a tiny white nationalist on paper.

NOTE: When I say that I “definitely did not assemble [this photo] using photoshop ten minutes ago,” this should be taken to mean that, yes, I did in fact assemble this photo using photoshop ten minutes ago. I spent a few minutes of this lovely spring day crudely photoshopping a swastika armband onto a puppy. This is the sort of sacrifice I make for this blog.

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Sarkeesian Effect Makeup! Jordan Owen and Davis Aurini are reunited, and it feels so weird

Woah, as Keanu Reeeves, playing Neo or possibly some other character, might say.

Jordan Owen and Davis Aurini, the Sarkeesian Effect duo, are BACK TOGETHER AGAIN, and plan to finish their, er, “film” together shortly! Aurini posted the video above yesterday, announcing the reunion and giving a timetable of sorts for finishing the film, which obviously won’t be met, but hey.

Owen seems to have confirmed this, posting this video consisting of nothing more than the Owen/Aurini logo — yes, they have a logo — and the classic Peaches and Herb song “Reunited.”

Then again I haven’t seen Owen on camera announcing the reunion, so it’s possible that the wily Aurini has him tied up in the trunk of his car.

Also, Aurini is missing his goatee, which raises the possibility that the person making the “Aurini” video is actually his evil twin — or maybe his good twin, I’m not sure — from an alternate universe. You know, like in Star Trek.

Ah well. I’m going to assume this is legit. I was really looking forward to two Sarkeesian Effects, but I suppose I will be able to make do with just one.

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Totally authentic and not at all fake leaked footage from The Sarkeesian Effect documentary

Some amazing leaked footage from The Sarkeesian Effect project. Weirdly, both Davis Aurini and Jordan Owen seem to have grown full beards and started talking with some sort of fancy British/Aussie/New Zealand accents.

CONTENT NOTE: Video contains not only poor lighting, a bathtub rant, and Davis Aurini laughing but also some in-character gaslighting and rape advocacy.

H/T — Everyone who sent me a link to this one.

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#gamergate antifeminism davis aurini dawgies drama drama kings dudes who look like anton lavey entitled babies evil SJWs gamebros gross incompetence men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny reactionary bullshit red pill rhymes with roosh sarkeesian! schadenfreude YouTube

Sarkeesian Effect Breakup Videos vs Tiny Puppies Struggling with Stairs

Not all puppies are adorable
Not all puppies are adorable

The things I do for you people.

Over the past few days I’ve been catching up with the small flood of Youtube videos that have come out that deal with l’affaire Sarkeesian Effect Breakup. The result is that I’ve spent so much time listening to Davis Aurini explain his terrible side of the story that he’s invaded my dreams.

And I mean that literally:  the night before last, I dreamt I ran across a grouchy and dispirited Aurini sitting alone at a table in McDonald’s. When he saw me he declared “don’t even think about trying to sit with me!” As if, dude!

Later in the same dream I was performing improv theater dressed as a hippie, but I doubt you’re interested in hearing more about that, so I’ll keep it confined to my dream diary.

Anyhoo, so I thought I would share a few of the more watchable Sarkeesian Effect videos.

I am aware that not all of you will have the time or inclination to watch all or even any of these videos, so I’m interspersing them with videos of tiny puppies trying to navigate stairs that are bigger than they are. Enjoy!

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The Top 8 Most Cringeworthy Moments from the Aurini/Owen Chat Logs [Sarkeesian Effect Breakup, Part 3]

Down dooby doo down down, come on come on down dooby doo down down, come on come on down dooby doo down down breaking up is hard to do
Down dooby doo down down, come on come on

Do the Sarkeesian Effect dudes — now in the midst of a painful and noisy breakup — not realize how ridiculous they look to the rest of us?

Ok, maybe that’s not the right question to ask. After all, we’re talking about Davis Aurini, a sort of low-budget Anton LaVey with a plastic-skull fetish who actually put this picture of himself on his website on purpose:

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BREAKING GAMERGATE BREAKUP NEWS: Jordan Owen has fired Davis Aurini from #TheSarkeesianEffect!

Owen and Aurini in happier times
Owen and Aurini in happier times

Oh, say it ain’t so! The creative team behind The Sarkeesian Effect has fallen apart in a wave of mutual recriminations and accusations and general bad feelings! Owen is accusing Aurini of blackmail! Aurini is accusing Owen of being a nerd who can’t get laid! They’re both accusing each other of trying to take the money and run!

And apparently Roosh V — yes, that Roosh V, do you even know of any others — played the Yoko Ono role in this breakup.  (Sorry, Yoko, it really wasn’t fair to drag you into this, so I’ll post a video of your awesome Walking On Thin Ice at the end of this post.)

Owen announced the firing of Aurini in this video: