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christianity covid death wish reactionary bullshit the federalist

The Federalist: Dying of COVID is good, actually

Jesus wept

MAGA truly is a death cult, though it’s rare for anyone on that side to admit it outright. Enter The Federalist, which today published a piece by its executive editor with the utterly un-ironic headline “For Christians, Dying From COVID (Or Anything Else) Is A Good Thing.”

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The Federalist: Own the libs on Columbus Day by cooking this politically incorrect pasta dish

Just be careful you don’t overeat and own yourself by accident

Leave it to the Federalist to offer a literal recipe for owning the libs.

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The most ridiculously pretentious argument against wearing a mask comes courtesy of The Federalist

It’s safe to say that The Federalist — the inexplicably well-funded right-wing rag — isn’t happy about Joe Biden’s vaccine mandates. Their first post on the subject declared it a “fascist move”; a followup post groused that the Biden administration is “really just using lies and deception to force their agenda on the American public without regard for the law or Constitution.”

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The Federalist went to a Drag Queen Story Hour and lived to tell the tale

Drag queen Muffy Fishbasket, who is actually a different drag queen than the one I’m writing about in this story

“Drag Queen Story Hour,” DQSH for short, is pretty much what it says it is: A drag queen goes to a library and spends an hour reading stories to children. The idea originated with queer writer and activist Michelle Tea in 2015, and right-wingers have been having fits about it ever since, seeing it as a vile propaganda tool that’s “normalizing degeneracy” and luring children into the LGBTQ lifestyle. One right-wing Christian activist likened the events to “mental rape.”

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abortion antifeminist women misogyny reactionary bullshit the federalist the wayward press

The Top Five things about women I learned from The Federalist’s “Flyover women” article

Makin’ babies

Carrie Gress is a Fellow who doesn’t want to live like a man. Gress, a five-time mother and a fellow at a think tank called, rather generically, the Ethics and Public Policy Center, has just published a piece in The Federalist celebrating what she calls the “flyover women” — the salt-of-the-earth, sometimes not-so-glamorous mothers who stand up against Cultural Marxism and “radical feminism” and jobs, if possible.

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critical race theory lying liars racism

The Federalist says it’s the left, not the right, that’s obsessed with Critical Race Theory. One quick search proves them wrong.

If you lived on an exclusive diet of right-wing media, you might be forgiven for thinking that the critical issue facing our troubled republic today was, not COVID, not the Republican war on democracy, not even the fact that J Lo and Ben Affleck have gotten back together after a 17-year break, but a formerly obscure academic doctrine called “Critical Race Theory.”

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The Federalist declares war on ass

Cat butts we’ve definitely seen enough of

On Tik Tok, one former butt-loving man warns women to be a bit more circumspect in showing off their asses, because he’s apparently hit his ass limit for one lifetime. In his younger days, he recalls, “I used to get so excited just to see a booty, bro.”

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Coronavirus: The Federalist prefers mass death to massive deficits

Federalist editorial board meeting (artist’s conception)

By David Futrelle

People often ask “who funds The Federalist,” assuming that the answer is some shadowy right-wing billionaire who finds the site’s crackpot conservatism congenial. But I think I’ve found the actual answer: it’s the coronavirus. Yes, that’s right: the coronavirus is funding The Federalist.

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The Federalist: Lesbians are foisting their “sin” on the Hallmark Channel. Will they lesbify Christmas next?

Lesbians promoting perversion in a Zola.com ad

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By David Futrelle

Right-wingers are positively obsessed with lesbian kisses these days. Yesterday I wrote about One Angry Gamer’s meltdown over a fleeting, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it same-sex kiss in the latest Star Wars movie. Meanwhile, over on The Federalist, Lutheran pastor and YouTube personality Hans Fiene is losing it over a cutesy TV commercial running on the Hallmark Channel featuring two lesbians getting hitched. Naturally, it ends with a kiss. A LESBIAN KISS.

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The Federalist: Greta Thunberg is the patron saint of drug-using, booty-shaking “occultist, apocalyptic climate paganism”

Saint Greta?

By David Futrelle

There have been a lot of terrible things said in recent days about environmentalists in general and Greta Thunberg in particular. Even our dear impeachable president got into the action, mocking the 16-year-old climate activist in a tweet that Thunberg quickly appropriated ahs her new Twitter bio. Meanwhile, a host of creepy online commenters suggested that Thunberg just needed a good spanking.