We Hunted The Mammoth
By David Futrelle
Star Wars’ worst fans are losing their shit (once again) at the news that Disney is producing a new “female-centric” Star Wars series with a woman at the helm: Leslye Headland, the co-creator and main force behind Netflix’ also quite female-centric series Russian Doll, an ingenious and surprisingly earthy sci-fi series centered around time loops and alternate universes.
Carrie Fisher died this morning, several days after suffering a very public heart attack while on a plane from London. She was obviously best known for playing Princess Leia in the original Star Wars trilogy, returning to the franchise in The Force Awakens as General Leia Organa.
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Apparently forgetting the humiliating failure of their cuck-centric boycott of Star Wars: The Force Awakens — the film ultimately made roughly six squadrillion dollars at the box office –some of the internet’s most excitable racists are calling on all white people to skip out on the upcoming Rogue One: A Star Wars Story because something something Jew female white genocide.
So the question on the table for today is: Are asskicking women in action films an affront to “godly, awesome, beautiful, feminine women” and, well, now that you come to mention it, our heavenly Father too?
According to Christian cultural critic Nathan Alberson, the answer is “yes.”
Ok, so I’m not exactly the most dedicated Star Wars fan out there. I mean, yeah, I’ve seen most of the films, and I might possibly have owned a plastic light saber at one point, but now I’m beginning to wonder if I ever really understood Star Wars at all.
For example, I had no idea about the plants with boobs.
Is Star Wars: The Force Awakens a fun space opera that’s made a crapload of money and revitalized a beloved franchise after three cringeworthy prequels?
Or is it insidious propaganda for racially mixed sexy times that may ultimately wipe out millions of hypothetical future white babies and, oh yeah, perhaps the entire white race?
So you remember that half-assed Star Wars: The Force Awakens “boycott” that the white supremacists tried to get going a couple of months ago?
Well, apparently it was a GIGANTIC SUCCESS. In some alternate universe. Probably.
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Among his likes: Erotic wrestling, male authority, maroon berets. Among his dislikes: women and black guys playing prominent roles in Star Wars movies.
Over on FetLife, the kinky social networking site, a fellow called LordMichael lays out his objections to the upcoming Star Wars: The Force Awakens. There are three of them: The character Daisy Ridley, that black stormtrooper dude, and that black stormtrooper dude’s penis.
