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Semen retainers! Beware the secret agents of Big Porn who use “cleverly placed words” to lure you back to fapland

Don’t let them hypnotize you!

Those who deliberately retain their semen say the practice sharpens their mind and their senses, makes them to smell better, renders them irresistible to women.

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Incels still obsessed with other men’s sperm

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Incels have a curious double standard when it comes to virginity. They view their own virginity as both a cause and a symbol of ultimate failure and deprivation, proof that they’re inherently worthless in the sexual marketplace and possibly in life itself.

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Women are only attracted to men who retain their semen, man who retains his semen declares

Dude must be filled to the brim with semen

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By David Futrelle

It’s nearly Christmas, and so I’ve decided to give myself an early present by giving in to my strange fascination with the Semen Retention subreddit, again.

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The Semen Retention subreddit is leaking (and not how you think)

By David Futrelle

A cryptocurrency guru who calls himself Crypto de Medici is celebrating the start of #NoNutNovember by bringing the gospel of Semen Retention to his nearly 90 thousand Twitter followers.

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“As a man, you hold the seed of creation within your ballsack,” and other reflections on semen retention from some mystical weirdo on Reddit

No, not THAT ballsack

By David Futrelle

Hardcore semen retainers — yes, I’m back to talking about them again — believe that by refraining from masturbation they can bless themselves with certain magical superpowers, most notably the power of attraction.

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How to become the Warren Buffett of ejaculation, according to some semen-retaining weirdo on Reddit

*makes jerkoff motion*

By David Futrelle

Today, some handy investment advice from … the semen retention subreddit?

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Jews use porn to drain goy boys of their precious bodily fluids and cause women to worship Israeli men, declares semen-hoarding Redditor

General Jack D Ripper: Does not avoid women, but does deny them his essence

By David Futrelle

So I’ve been a teensy weensy bit obsessed with the Semen Retention subreddit for months now — though, emulating the disciplined approach to life that subreddit advocates, I have tried my best not to post about it more than once a month or so. But some days I can’t help but relapse. Today is one of those days.

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MGTOW Redditor: “Any woman you encounter is possibly a Succubus. Make no mistake, it wants your semen”

Women out there just being succubi now

By David Futrelle

It’s succubus time again here at We Hunted the Mammoth. Over the years, I’ve run across more than a few weirdo misogynists obsessed with the notion of women as succubi, those (I think) mythical sex demons who disguise themselves as beautiful women in order to seduce men and steal their sexual energy, if not their very souls.

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‘Cause every girl crazy ’bout a semen-filled man: Alleged true tales from the Semen Retention subreddit

Sorry ladies, but I have to deny you my essence

By David Futrelle

The Semen Retention subreddit is a weird place to visit, filled both with arcane manifestos on the spiritual awakenings that supposedly come from never having orgasms, ever, and enthusiastic testimonials from sperm-filled dudes convinced that their onanistic disipline has caused all the women in their immediate vicinity to lust for them like cats in heat, even though actually having sex with one of these women would destroy their no-orgasm streak and, they fear, transform them back into average schmoes again.

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Lesbians! You need to get the D at least sometimes if you want clear skin, explains dude who couldn’t possibly have an ulterior motive

That could be really bad for your health, according to science I definitely didn’t just pull out of my ass

By David Futrelle

Here’s a little public pubic service announcement for all lesbians, as offered by a very public pubic-spirited fellow who couldn’t possibly have an ulterior motive or anything but who nonetheless might be available to assist any lesbians who wish to act upon the important information he is conveying.