We Hunted The Mammoth
Every few months, it seems, I run across another article talking about how hard conservative men are having it in the dating world just because they’re gross fascist turdballs that no sensible person wants to fuck. And somehow, as noted by @guy_freire on Twitter, “this supposedly reflects negatively on Democrats.”
Men’s Rights Activists have discovered a new entirely hypothetical danger — that evil feminists, mad about the end of Roe V Wade, will force the government to mandate vasectomies for all pubescent boys.
Men’s Rights Redditors think and hope that the verdict in Amber Heard’s defamation trial will end forever her career as an actor. They just hope that whatever she does in the future to make money will be as degrading as possible.
Today, three unsettling news stories that have sort of fallen through the cracks in recent days.
Huge bazonga enthusiasts! I have found the book for you.
This article has been UPDATED; see below.
When comic actor Rebel Wilson came out in an Instagram post Friday morning, she was greeted with cheers. In her post, she introduced her followers to her new girlfriend, fashion designer Ramona Agruma. “I thought I was searching for a Disney Prince,” she wrote, “but maybe what I really needed all this time was a Disney Princess.” For Wilson fans, it was hard not to read this without uttering an involuntary “aww.”
But over on the Sydney Morning Herald, columnist Andrew Hornery wasn’t cheering her announcement, or what Pink News called the “wave of love and support” that followed.
Fellas! I mean, straight ones! Do you ever find yourself checking out a cute gal in the melon department in the supermarket and you want to ask her out but you’re not sure if she’s a feminist, which is important because you definitely don’t want to date one of those?
A couple of weeks ago, Canadian fusspot philosopher Jordan Peterson, who resembles a corpse on a good day, decided to use his vast internet platform (2.7 million Twitter followers) to weigh in on the Fat Model Question, tweeting that the plus-size model on the cover of the latest Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue was “[n]ot beautiful. And no amount of authoritarian tolerance is going to change that.”
Contemporary conservatism is awash in irrationality. Right-wingers have eagerly embraced conspiracy theories of all sorts, from QAnonymish stories of pedophile illuminati to vaccine “skepticism.” Instead of worrying about real crises like COVID and climate change, they denounce imaginary “cultural Marxism” and innocuous Drag Queen Story Hours, convinced that both are literally demonic attacks on middle American children.
Some Johnny Depp fans, inspired by Depp’s win in his defamation suit against former wife Amber Heard, are hoping Marilyn Manson can win a similar case against former girlfriend and Westworld star Evan Rachel Wood.