Reactionary Canadian fussbudget Jordan Peterson was roundly mocked for suggesting that women wearing lipstick are trying to mimic the look of sexual arousal, when women’s lips apparently all turn dark red or pink or perhaps No. 19 Fuchsia Rouge.
Fellas! Have you heard about this thing called a “bra?” The ladies wear them on their boobs and get this, they don’t just wear them to keep their bazoongas from going all floppy when they walk around. No, sometimes ladies use sophisticated bra technology to make their boobs look bigger than they really are! So they can hypnotize you with their big boobs … even if they don’t have big boobs!
The last time we checked in on YouTube philosopher racist crackpot Stefan Molyneux, he was trying his hand at slam poetry, sort of. Now he’s become a beauty blogger. Or beauty tweeter, anyway, unleashing a veritable tweetstorm on the subject of makeup over the last several days.
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By David Futrelle
One thing almost all online misogynists can agree about is that makeup is a lie — a way for women to hide their true ugliness and capture the attention of men who are objectively better-looking than them on that ten-point scale that these dudes are so obsessed with.
Misogynists who have trouble getting dates have long warned of the insidious effects of makeup, which they claim enables ugly women to pass themselves off as hotties and sleep with hotter dudes, which is somehow a crime against humanity because, I’m not sure, I guess because this is unfair to ugly dudes for some reason, maybe because they’re jealous that the unhot women get to sleep with the hot guys? Or maybe it’s unfair because when the hotter dudes see these women without makeup it makes them feel bad?
In the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit, a wise elder who calls himself lonewolf-chicago warns his younger colleagues to watch out for the insidious danger of … women who dye their hair. You may think these women look hot, he tells the assembled MGTOWs, but they don’t look hot, because their hair is a LIE! Also, he notes, his ex-wife has a fat butt.
Uh oh. Return of Kings writer David Garrett has uncovered a massive disinformation campaign mounted by the women of the world, a dastardly plot designed to ensnare hapless men and deprive them of their free will.
The women of the world, you see, are using both high- and low-tech trickery in an attempt to convince dudes that they are prettier than they actually are.