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The Umbrella Truthers: Embarrassed by Trump’s rainphobia, MAGAs attack Obama over the time a Marine held his umbrella for him

Rain, rain, go away

By David Futrelle

Into each life some rain must fall. Unless, of course, you’re Donald Trump, in which case you do anything and everything you can to keep even a single drop of that foul skywater from touching your elaborately styled and apparently quite delicate combover — even if it means dishonoring the memories of Americans who died serving their country.

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Accused #MAGAbomber’s Twitter account was a smorgasbord of hate and violent threats. Twitter, what gives?

Accused #MAGAbomber Cesar Sayoc: Not shy about expressing his opinions (Pic adapted from photo posted to one of his now-deleted Twitter accounts.)

By David Futrelle

I spent some time this afternoon going through one of accused #MAGAbomber Cesar Sayoc’s apparent Twitter accounts, one specifically devoted to trolling and threatening his assorted political enemies, screenshotting and archiving what I could before Twitter took it down. He was a prolific tweeter. I got through two months of it.

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Blazing hot takes on mail bombs from the #MAGA crowd

Yes, they’re already starting to make NPC memes about it

UPDATE, FRIDAY 10/26: They’ve nabbed a suspect, a 56-year-old Florida man whose van is covered with pro-Trump stickers, alongside “CNN SUCKS” stickers and  pictures of Hillary Clinton and other Democrats depicted in crosshairs. Somehow I don;t think this is going to stop these people from crying “false flag.” 

By David Futrelle

At yet another of his endless series of rallies this Wednesday night, Donald Trump responded to the news that pipe bombs were sent to the homes and offices of a number of his top Democratic bete noires, as well as to CNN, another favorite Trump target, by offering only the vaguest possible condemnations of these acts of terrorism.

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4Channers transform David Hogg into gun-loving “Daisy” to own the libs, and everyone is confused, including them

Meet “Daisy Hogg,” 4Chan’s new girl

By David Futrelle

4Chan has a brand-new imaginary girlfriend, and she might look a little bit familiar to you. “Daisy Hogg” seems designed to win the hearts (and the pants-feelings) of the 4Chan demographic — she’s a young, slender hottie who loves guns, Trump, and owning the libs.

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Deplorables LOVE LOVE LOVE the “I really don’t care” jacket Melania wore to visit caged children in Texas

Melania’s inspiration?

By David Futrelle

You may have been a bit startled, as I was, to learn of Melania Trump’s strange choice of outerwear for her trip to Texas today to comfort, I guess, the immigrant children her husband has kidnapped for their parents’ misdemeanor crime of crossing the border, some of whom may never be returned to their parents because, oops, the Trump administration doesn’t seem to have even bothered to keep track of whose kids are whose.

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No one will date right-wingers in DC and I am so here for it

No church bells for these two

By David Futrelle

The most heartening thing in the news today — I mean, aside from ex-Trumper Sam Nunberg’s live TV meltdown — is this story by Mimi Montgomery in Washingtonian magazine about the sad plight of right wingers in D.C., none of whom are apparently able to find anyone who wants to get into their pants.

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MAGAs insist that Mueller’s indictment of Russians somehow proves there was “no collusion.” It doesn’t.

I think there might be something to see here

By David Futrelle

As you may have heard, special prosecutor Bob Mueller dropped a little bomb today — charging 13 Russians and several Russian organizations with a conspiracy to interfere in the 2016 presidential election and support the candidacy of one Donald Trump.

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The 15 Creepiest Trump Fan Tweets from Last Night

Trump: The only thing creepier than clowns
Trump: The only thing creepier than clowns

Ok, I may have oversold this a teensy bit. I didn’t look through all ten billion Trump fan Tweets from last night. I looked through as many as I could before I started to seriously despair for the future of humanity.