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James Franco's text game was "solid," says pickup artist Christian McQueen

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James Franco displays his charm
James Franco displays his subtle text technique

So at this point you presumably all know about James Franco’s less-than-successful attempt to text his way into the pants of a 17-year old fan — which, if it wasn’t just a publicity stunt for his latest movie, which happens to be about a creepy teacher preying on a student, was pretty creepy for real.

You might have been struck by the, er, bluntness his approach, which could be summarized as the “I’m James Franco, are you technically of legal age in New York State, can I get you alone in a room with me right now, no I’m really James Franco, really” technique.

But what you haven’t seen yet is an analysis of Mr. Franco’s TEXT GAME by a recognized expert in the field. And by expert I mean our new friend Christian McQueen, the Alpha Playboy with the Obviously Fake Name.

Mr. McQueen asks the timeless question: Was Mr. Franco’s TEXT GAME desperate or just direct?

To some it may seem like he’s being ‘thirsty’, but is he really? Or his text game actually the type of game that high value men use?

After going line for line through Mr. Franco’s conversational gambits with the wary teenager — which, you may recall, not only failed to convince her to come to his room but also created a bit of an embarrassing scandal for him — McQueen concludes that Franco’s game was …. “solid.”

No, really.

You see, when you’re James Franco, you can just go ahead and behave like some dude straight out of the CreepyPM subreddit, because you have “so many options, that [you] can go Ultra-Direct in [your] text game and many players who are on a great level utilize this.”

Don’t bother with small talk. Don’t bother with charm. All you need to do is state your famous name, determine if she is of legal age in the state you are in (and she was, in New York), and then proceed to work out the logisitics. And BAM, you’re in like Flynn. (Though one imagines that the real Erroll Flynn actually tried to work some personal charm into his approach with women.)

McQueen sums it up for us mere mortals:

[H]is ’game’ was not ‘thirsty’, but simply Direct. While not great, it was solid.

He is a celebrity, so it’s less about him using Game and more about him asking questions as though they are completing a transaction. She gets to fuck a celebrity and he gets her pussy. Simple.

Yeah. Except that none of that happened and now a guy who could have slept with any one of literally millions of enthusiastic volunteers over the age of 18 is now the poster boy for celebrity creepiness.

He could have been smoother and possibly gotten the bang, but he probably does not care.

Yeah. Unless this is all a publicity stunt, I’m thinking that he probably does care just a little bit now.

This is classic I Don’t Give A Fuck Game.

When your value is high and your time is precious, you don’t give a fuck if she rejects you. This is Next Level.

Well, if by “Next Level” you mean “an approach so crude and creepy that it not only squicked out the 17 year old fan that it was directed at but also millions of female fans who’ve now seen the texts online.”

He put out minimal effort to prove it was him, which was understandable considering she doubted it was him, and when she balked, he ejected quickly.

I guess he’s got a point here. It would have been even worse if Franco had stuck around and tried to pressure the fan to see him.

Remember gents, when your Game is tight and you have High Value, you can go Direct. Men of High Value don’t have time to be wasted. You may get rejected immediately, but you also won’t waste time with girls just seeking attention and validation.

You may, on the other hand, be exposed on the internet as a creepy predator. But I guess Men of High Value don’t care about that, which is why Franco didn’t go on Live With Kelly and Michael shortly after this broke to apologize for it all. Oh wait. He did.

Huh. That doesn’t sound High Value at all.