We Hunted The Mammoth
By David Futrelle
Straight male insecurity can be a sight to behold. The list of things that make men doubt the masculinity of other men (or of themselves) is, it seems, endless. That’s what makes the “Fellas, is it gay” meme so effective, and so funny. By simply taking the tenets of some weird and toxic belief about masculinity and rewording it as a question you can reveal just how absurd it is. Fellas, is it gay to drink a smoothie? Fellas, is it gay to wipe your own ass?
Science has now provided a preliminary answer to the most pressing question of our time, at least for men: “Does this reusable shopping bag cause you to question my sexuality?”
By David Futrelle
Ok, so let’s say you’re a totally normal dude who just happens to be, you know, an incel. And like most normal dudes you keep a folder full of pics of super handsome shirtless dudes on your computer, not because you like to look at them or anything but because you need them as evidence you can pull out at a moment’s notice the next time you get into an argument with someone online who doesn’t believe the totally true fact that super handsome dudes who are capable of removing their shirts are literally the only dudes in the world who can get dates with women unless, I dunno, the woman is super icky or a sex robot or just wants money from you or something.