We Hunted The Mammoth
By David Futrelle
Fellas! Have you heard about this thing called a “bra?” The ladies wear them on their boobs and get this, they don’t just wear them to keep their bazoongas from going all floppy when they walk around. No, sometimes ladies use sophisticated bra technology to make their boobs look bigger than they really are! So they can hypnotize you with their big boobs … even if they don’t have big boobs!
By David Futrelle
Yesterday, an older British gentleman who describes himself as a “Journalist Extraordinaire” received a light roasting on Twitter after he declared that women who “wear clothes showing a lot of flesh in the shoulder, leg and … bosom department” are somehow undermining the long struggle for gender equality through their choice of attire.
By David Futrelle
Have you heard the bad news about Hooters? The infamous “breastaurant” chain, a place where America’s creepiest dads and granddads could live out their fantasies of gawking at their waitresses’ boobs without the owners of said boobs being able to complain about it, has been, well, sagging a bit lately.
By David Futrelle
So the guys who get mad about imaginary tiddies are mad about imaginary tiddies again — or, rather, the lack of them. This time they’re mad about the lack of huge gazongas in Netflix’s reboot of She Ra, the 1980’s He-Man spinoff that none of these dudes ever watched in the first place either because they weren’t born yet or because it was a show for, ick, girls.
By David Futrelle
FADE IN
INT. DEPARTMENT OF MOTOR VEHICLES
Ok, so I’m not exactly the most dedicated Star Wars fan out there. I mean, yeah, I’ve seen most of the films, and I might possibly have owned a plastic light saber at one point, but now I’m beginning to wonder if I ever really understood Star Wars at all.
For example, I had no idea about the plants with boobs.
