We Hunted The Mammoth>Now that we’re talking about pickup artistry, I feel I would be doing my readers a disservice if I didn’t post the SINGLE GREATEST PUA VIDEO EVER. Paul Rudd and David Wain show us how it’s done in this report from the field.
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Recently, “game” guru Roissy offered his readers a list of “Cheap And Easy Ways To Raise Your Value To A Girl.” Most were fairly standard pick up artist tricks of the “act like an aloof jerk and she’ll worship you” variety. According to Roissy, though, these little tricks will miraculously enable guys
to date women one to three points higher than you could be expected to get by societal standards. Do these to a girlfriend and you will be a god to her. A god among penii.
A few examples:
Don’t call back right away. Done properly, you will start to hear girls say things like “I didn’t hear back from you. You were making me nervous!”
Don’t live together. It’s much harder to project mystery living under the same roof, watching each other fold laundry every week. (Not to mention side action will be more difficult to coordinate.)
Cancel dates. (Make the reason seem apparently legitimate, but suspicious.)
Muse wistfully about past lovers.Never do her a favor before you’ve had sex with her.
Never laugh at her jokes, even when they’re funny. If you must, chuckle under your breath.
When at her place, eat all her food, leave the seat up, change her TV channels, and torture her cat. Act like it’s your second home.
Bo-ring. These tricks may have worked on women once upon a time, but today’s women are far too sophisticated to fall for these tired old ruses . If you really want to score with the hot babes of today, you’ve got to kick your game up a notch — or three. To help, I have come up with some “New and Improved Cheap And Easy Ways To Raise Your Value To A Girl.”
Wear a banana peel on your head like a hat. This will help to create an aura of “mystery” around yourself, as well as a lovely banana-y scent that will follow you everywhere.
Poke her nose playfully after sex and say, in a cheerful voice, “Hitler was right about you!” She will ponder this one for days.
Never laugh at her jokes. Instead, fall to the floor and begin singing “Rock Me Amadeus.”
Go out on “dates” with imaginary people. Introduce her to these people, and slyly suggest a “threesome.” (Or a “foursome,” if you are dating two imaginary people at the same time.)
Muse wistfully about butter.
Don’t buy her gifts. Instead, sneak clumps of dirt into her lingerie drawer.
Never call her back right away. Instead, hide under her bed and make low moaning sounds.
If you end up in an argument with her, shout out “mom always loved you better!” Then set her couch on fire.
Don’t move in with her. Instead, move into the apartment above hers, and watch her through tiny holes drilled in the floor.
When at her place, eat her cat, torture her TV, and replace her toilet with a sack of potatoes. Act like Meryl Streep in Sophie’s Choice, including the accent.
Go forth, my young apprentices, and score like never before!
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Leon Trotsky — you know, THE Trotsky — once said disdainfully of writer Dwight Macdonald, who’d had the temerity to actually question him about something-or-other, “everyone has the right to be stupid, but comrade Macdonald abuses the privilege.”
Now, Trotsky was sort of a shit, and probably would have been a worse dictator than Stalin, and Dwight Macdonald was awesome, but I’ve always loved this little put-down, and I’d like to update it for the internet age. So here goes:
Everyone has the right to pontificate about shit they know nothing about on the internet, but our comrades at The Spearhead abuse the privilege.
The latest example: A short piece about the Egyptian protests from Spearhead head cheese W.F. Price. Noting that footage of the protests show a lot of angry men out on the streets, Price opines:
Governments that consistently neglect or antagonize their male populations never last too long.
Yep, no matter what happens anywhere in the world at any time, on The Spearhead it’s always all about the menz. Indeed, not only has the Egyptian government been insufficiently accommodating to men, Price suggests; it’s also started flirting with feminism, having “recently taken the lead in the Arab world in empowering women.” But such a transparent ploy to win over the wimmenz will invariably backfire, he argues (or, rather, asserts), further angering the angry men in the streets:
Female support matters little; women shift allegiance at the drop of a hat, so any government that counts on them to prop them up is making a mistake.
Those fickle, fickle women!
In the comments, someone called Antz took this absurdity a step or two further, asking his fellow Spearheaders to
note the alpha males in battle gear, ready at the drop of a hat to open fire on their freedom loving brothers with machine guns.
Alpha males have always been the wielders of the burning blade of feminist anti-male hatred.
Yes, that’s right. The Egyptian security police have suddenly gone feminist on us.
This isn’t the first time Price has attempted to cast an uprising in the Arab world as a manly reaction to the doings of evil women. He titled a recent piece on the Tunisian uprising “Arrogant Woman Slaps Young Man, Brings Down Her Regime.” The “arrogant woman” in question was a corrupt local official who slapped and thereby humiliated a young Tunisian street vendor named Mohammad Bouazizi; his very public suicide — he lit himself on fire in front of a government building as a form of protest –was what set off the Tunisian uprising. (I have no idea what Price means by referring to “her regime,” as the woman in question was merely a local functionary and the regime in question was of course headed by a man.) Price wrote:
Authoritarian regimes in Muslim-majority states tend to favor women’s empowerment, seeing women as natural allies in keeping fundamentalist Islam at bay and willing participants in corrupt patronage systems. However, favoring women can only go so far, as men need a certain degree of appeasement as well, and it seems that young Tunisian men have had enough of being – quite literally in this case – slapped around.
Never mind that Tunisia’s historic adoption of women’s rights legislation — abolishing polygamy, and, horror of feminist horrors, requiring men to actually get consent from women before marrying them — happened more than half a century ago. Never mind that the repressive Ben Ali government was actually moving backwards on women’s rights. A woman slapped a man, so the uprising was therefore all about the symbolic slapping of men by an evil regime that Price has bizarrely described as a “her.”
Back to Egypt, which is even less of a feminist paradise than Tunisia. Indeed, a 2010 report from the Egyptian Center for Women’s Rights concluded that the country was getting worse, not better, when it came to its already dismal record on women’s rights. As thedailynewsegypt.com reports (link is to Google’s cached copy of the story):
The report, which is based on the findings of international human rights organizations, stated that Egypt was ranked 125th out of 134 countries regarding women’s rights, and was ranked 13th among countries in the Middle East/North Africa region. …
The state council’s refusal to appoint female judges in February was considered by the ECWR as a major setback to women’s rights in 2010. … Women still suffer from inequality in the workplace … there’s been a rise in violence against women. … 71.4 percent of violent crimes in 2010 were against women. …
The ECWR also highlighted the increased use of two new alarming police practices against women: the practice of holding women hostage in order to force fugitives to surrender themselves to the police, as well as the sexual violation of women by police officers.
But that’s not the only thing that Price has gotten very, very wrong: As many observers far more knowledgeable than Price have pointed out — including, amazingly, one commenter on The Spearhead — the footage of male-dominated protests we see on TV is in many ways wildly misleading: Egyptian women have been involved in the current protests in unprecedented numbers.
As Jenna Krajeski noted on Slate’s XXFactor blog,
An unprecedented number of Egyptian women participated in Tuesday’s anti-government protests. Ghada Shahbandar, an activist with the Egyptian Organization for Human Rights, estimated the crowd downtown to be 20 percent female. Other estimates were as high as 50 percent. In past protests, the female presence would rarely rise to 10 percent. Protests have a reputation for being dangerous for Egyptian women, whose common struggle as objects of sexual harassment is exacerbated in the congested, male-dominated crowd.
Max Strasser, a former associate editor at Al-Masry Al-Youm English Edition in Cairo, explains the dynamic:
It is no secret that Egypt is a conservative country when it comes to gender relations. Men and women generally, though not exclusively, adhere to traditional gender roles where women stay at home. As a result, many public spaces are heavily male dominated. Moreover, sexual harassment is frustratingly common … Big crowds, like soccer rallies, are usually the least hospitable for women.
Since this uprising began, the typical gender dynamic in Egypt’s public space seems to have been thrown out with the regime. Some have said that as many as half of the protesters are women. Moreover, as I have watched Al Jazeera it seems clear that women of all walks of life, from young girls in jeans to older women wearing niqab, are taking part. All are chanting, pumping their fists and, at times, battling with the riot police.
As feminist human rights activist Nawal El Saadawi told Democracy Now!, “women and girls are beside boys in the streets.”
Do I have any idea what’s next in Egypt? Of course not. The crowds I’ve seen in the news coverage on CNN and elsewhere have been mostly men, and a lot of these men are fundamentalist fanatics. But I think the presence of women alongside the men in the protests is heartening, and gives us some reason for optimism.
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| He’s not crying for pregnant rape victims. |
Let’s take a brief break from the man boobz on the internet to look at the man (and some women) boobz in Congress, specifically the Republicans (and a handful of Democrats) who are trying to push through a truly odious bill, The No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act, designed to make it harder for women who have been raped to get abortions. Here’s how the SF Chronicle sums it up:
Current law allows federal funds (usually for Medicaid) to be spent on abortions only for women who have been raped or are the victims of incest. We think those restrictions are bad enough, but the new class of House Republicans want more. The No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act would outlaw the use of federal funds for abortion except in the case of “forcible rape.” The incest exemption would only apply to minors.
“Forcible rape” doesn’t have a legal definition, but in general the idea is to exclude pregnancies that result from date rape, statutory rape or rapes that happen when women are physically incapacitated.
So if you’re drugged and raped, and you get pregnant, too bad. If your father rapes you, and you get pregnant, too bad. Those rapes apparently don’t count.
As Amanda Marcotte puts it, the bill’s sponsors apparently
believe the misogynist stereotype that all women, especially those who claim to be ill or victims of crimes, are lying whores until proven otherwise. Or just lying whores, regardless of the evidence they produce. And so, to make sure those lying whores don’t get their hands on those delicious, orgasm-inducing uterine scrapings, the bill has language in it that, in essence, assumes that 70% of rape victims weren’t really raped. The exception is only for “forcible rape”, which is vaguely defined, but in practice tends to mean that anything short of getting your ass beat down means you weren’t “really” raped. Even if you’re a 13-year-old who was impregnated by a 30-year-old. Also, if you happen to get pregnant by your abusive, rape-y father on your 18th birthday, you will get no funding to make sure you don’t give birth to your own brother.
In Salon, Sady Doyle puts the Republican push for the bill in a larger context, noting that the bill’s reference to “forcible rape”
brings us back to an ancient, long-outdated standard of rape law: “Utmost resistance.” By this standard, a rape verdict depended not on whether the victim consented, but on whether outsiders thought she resisted as hard as humanly possible. Survivors rarely measured up.
Meanwhile, Time magazine’s Amy Sullivan tried to figure out if there really were a lot of “false rape claims” being by made by wily money-hungry young pregnant women in an attempt to bilk the government out of money. The answer, of course, is no.
Eligibility rules … differ by state, but many states are like Tennessee, which requires a doctor to certify that “there is credible evidence to believe that the pregnancy is the result of rape” and to attach “documentation from a law enforcement agency indicating the patient has made a credible report as the victim of incest or rape” before Medicaid will consider issuing payment for an abortion procedure. …
So that scourge of false rape reports–or even, let’s say, “non-forcible” rapes? It doesn’t exist. I couldn’t find numbers more recent than 2001, but these shocked me. In that year, the total number of abortions covered by Medicaid was 56. That’s all abortions for cases in which the mother’s life was in danger, the pregnancy was a result of incest, or in the case of rape. Another 25 were covered by state Medicaid programs. Even assuming that every single one of those abortions was to end a pregnancy caused by rape, that’s 81 abortions paid for in part with taxpayer dollars. Nationwide. That’s roughly $32,000 total for first trimester procedures.
So, yeah, this is not exactly what is busting the budget. Indeed, I imagine there are many rape victims who choose to pay out of pocket for an abortion, even if they can’t really afford it, rather than going through the humiliation of trying to prove they’ve been raped to the satisfaction of government bureaucrats.
UPDATE: The Republicans have removed the “forcible rape” language from the bill. But there is still plenty about the bill to hate.
If you’re American, and want to do something about this bill, here’s one practical suggestion: There are a number of Democrats who have signed on to co-sponsor the bill. I suggest you contact them and let them know how you feel. You can find info on how to contact them on Pandagon.
Or you can contact your representative by clicking on the banner below:
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| Atlas Tugged (Charles Atlas vs. the Rockettes.) |
I guess it shouldn’t really be surprising how widespread the Atlas Shrugged fantasy is in the weird world of the mansophere. The fantasy, that is, that if the truly important people in society get fed up and simply stop working, the whole society will collapse in a heap. There are two things that are inherently funny when Men Going Their Own Way start spouting off on this particular subject. One, of course, is the fact that this fantasy was originally articulated by an, er, woman — a small, stern, Russian-born intellectual dominatrix and husband-cuckolder who went by the made-up name of Ayn Rand. Two, is the fact that the MGTOWs honestly think that they are the world’s Atlases rather than a bunch of insignificant internet whiners.
Still, the would-be Atlases of the manosphere do sometimes manage to fluff up this tired old fantasy with some inventive new ideas of their own. Consider the recent advice given by dad_savage on the Antimisandry.com message boards. dad starts out with a fairly standard-issue articulation of the MGTOW Shrugs fantasy:
The Government calculates tax on a basis of expecting men to earn many times more than they need to simply live. Men only do this if there are incentives; the no.1 incentives are women and community respect; Feminism will take these away, and men will stop working hard to obtain them. Feminism, indeed all liberalism, will be starved of the revenue it must have. Women will no longer be subsidized to live fairy-tail lives benefiting from male largess whether directly through husbands, sugar daddies, Johns or indirectly through the state-as-husband. Women are financially, physically and emotionally dependant on men so all we need to do is cut them off.
Fairy-tail? I’m pretty sure fairies have wings, not tails. In any case, dad_savage contends that the jig will be up for the ladies sometimes in the next ten years. He hopes to speed up the process a little bit by offering some specific “tips for living a fun life and fighting feminism in the most effective way possible.” Here they are:
Get a Public Sector job, or do ‘Women’s Work’ – Try working as a Garbage Man, Mail Man, or some other Council or State position. … most Government employees are women so you’ll have a lot of chance to practise game, and antagonize them by refusing to be a mangina. … Working in the public sector or in a female-dominated industry ensures that your not feeding the beast, but in reality sucking its blood, and will benefit from sexist policies and tax-funnelling subsidies designed to improve the lot of the workers in these female-dominated areas.
Be Rich, Scrape By or Play Robin Hood – Either earn just enough money to enjoy the lifestyle you desire (and think about what it is you really need!) or be a somebody so that you can use clever accounting to maximize the amount of tax you dodge. …
He’s got some odder ideas as well:
Use cunning and intelligence to discern those forces truly destructive to feminism, and aid them. Islamic organizations for example do untold damage to feminist aspirations, Sharia courts in the UK are for example rebalancing some divorce-based iniquity, and Muslims can hide behind accusations of racism just as effectively as feminist’s can behind sexism.
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| MGTOW patron saint? |
And when you tire of demonstrating for the imposition of Sharia law, buy some porn and hire a hooker:
A thing need not be ‘activism based,’ to have an activist effect; pornography, prostitution and other forms of sexual proxy are powerful kinds of activism available to men as they make going your own way more accessible especially to young libidinous men.
This next big of advice is a tad, well, convoluted, but seems rock-solid otherwise:
Tell The Truth, And Let Reason Guide – An example, you let a woman off the train before you holding the door for her, and she doesn’t thank you. Annoyed you stomp past her, and exiting the station you’re looked over by a rough looking youth with an air of being up to no good, but he leaves you alone. You’re sure he’s a mugger, and will probably go after the woman who is coming along behind you. Now let’s say you chose to help, would you do it for the opportunity to redress her for her rudeness earlier? ‘You didn’t even thank me for holding the door open, but had I not been that kind of man I wouldn’t have come back to help, can you not understand why you should appreciate such sentiment?’ seems fair to me. On the flipside you could chose not to help (the choice is of course your own once you’ve weighed the pros and cons in a way that seems wise to you) or you could help if you like on the basis that she’s attractive, and demand her phone number as payment (I see nothing wrong with this) the point is don’t help just because.
So to sum up:
1) Get a job at the DMV or somewhere else in the public sector, and pester the women who are working there.
2) Either earn nothing or become a rich tax dodger.
3) Support Sharia law
4) Buy porn and hire hookers
5) If a woman is rude to you when you’re getting off a train, and then she gets mugged, rescue her just so you can tell her off afterwards, or maybe get her number. Or don’t rescue her.
I don’t know about you, but to me this sounds like a foolproof plan.
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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference. Oddly appropriate given the subject matter.
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More from The Ghost Nation, a sort of MGTOW-ish site that hates MGTOW. And “rectal sodomites” and, well, a long list of others.
When novelist-turned-film-critic James Agee saw Bill and Coo, a feature-length 1948 film starring nothing but trained birds, he described it as “by conservative estimate, the God-damndest thing ever seen.” I believe that title may now belong to The Ghost Nation. Here’s a useful list from the site detailing The Personality Traits of Feminists:
If you are a feminist, you do not sincerely believe in God, you endorse Zionism, rectal sodomites, violence, police brutality, are two-faced, a liar, treacherous, a prospective adulterer, swear a lot, disorganized, vulgar, angry, a hacker and cybercriminal, untrustworthy, unfair, unjust, you share private information, are a misandrist, you commit blackmail and extortion, you are unpatriotic, you do not support the Constitution, are not humble, you hate straight whitey, have an erratic temperament, raise your voice to get a point across, are a sexual deviant, sadistic, violent, manipulative, fake friendships, enthusiastically associate with criminals, Zionists, sociopaths and psychopaths, cheat, are worthless and nonconstructive, are anti-heterosexual, heterophobic, atheist, agnostic, engage in gang-stalking, promote ugliness and scatology, do not respect other’s privacy, and do not believe that all rectal sodomites are homosexuals.
Hmm. I’ll just go through the list item by item: Yes, not exactly, yes, depends, no, no, no, no, no, yes, yes, yes, sometimes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, erratic or … erotic?, sometimes, yes, maybe a little, sometimes, not really, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yes, no, ugliness not really but scatology sometimes, no, yes.
I hope I didn’t leave out any answers and inadvertently make myself out to be a blackmailing gang-stalking adulterous cybercriminal rather than a humble disorganized agnostic who is friendly towards rectal sodomites and, really, sodomites generally.
So how many of the personality traits apply to you, dear readers?
Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t believe me about Bill and Coo, here is a clip of this exceedingly WTF film masterpiece:
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| The epitome of White Womanhood? |
So recently I stumbled across a blog and forum called The Ghost Nation. It’s truly scary. I would describe it as “MGTOW meets lunatic racist right wing conspiracy theory,” except that the people (person?) behind it think that MGTOW are a bunch of “atheists, rectal sodomites, criminals, dirtbags, black supremacists, jewish supremacists, misogynists and zionists.”
The topics on The Ghost Nation forum are a bit more, er, varied than those on your typical MGTOW forum. MGTOW types are generally preoccupied with the topic of what dirty whores women are. The Ghost Nation regulars devote attention to that always important topic, but also manage to find time to discuss such things as evil Zionists, BMX biking, and popular music. For example, the head dude behind The Ghost Nation has some highly original notions about the video for Robert Palmer’s song Simply Irresistible:
Notice all the women are White with no tats and natural boobs. The end of the USA was 1986. MTV was bought by Viacom in 1986 and this video was the last promoting the White race done in 1988. Since then Aw [American women] have turned into fat, nasty, tat plastered fake boobed slobs. Simply Irresistible was such a hit that the Zionists panicked and started something called Yo MTV Raps in 1988. From that point on straight White males were bashed in the media. It’s been many years since I saw the video but I get it now. You see Zionists are so insecure that they have to destroy what is beautiful. They do this on purpose. There is nothing more beautiful then tall White women without tats or fake boobs. Members here know this but younger generations don’t. MTV promotes ugly female midgets these days like on Jersey Shore.
Are Robert Palmer’s dancers a better representation of White Womanhood than Snooki? How much makeup is too much makeup? Was Robert Palmer truly the world’s most debonair man? Watch the video and judge for yourself:
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Manosphere men often complain about evil women attempting to drain them of their money. To which there really is a very simple solution: If you don’t want a girlfriend or wife who expects you to support her, don’t seek out women who expect you to support them.
This seems like a fairly common-sense strategy, and one that would simple enough for even the dullest of man boobz to remember. But apparently it has proved a little hard to put into practice.
For evidence of this, let’s return to our good friend Nightstorm — you know, the mousetrap-vagina, leech-women in the food court of doom guy on NiceGuy’s MGTOW forum. He’s back with another posting called “The List,“which is a list — naturally — of
the soul draining demands a woman puts on a man once their together. He MUST do these things to “make the relationship work”
The list is long, loopy, whiny, and filled with ridiculous things that MGTOWs and many MRAs tend to imagine that all women demand of all men (“Open all doors before and after for her”), but which have not actually been a part of any relationship I’ve ever been in. Aside from some complaints that are ridiculously petty (“Go to borning [sic] family out-goings”) and some that are weird paranoid fantasies (“You get your penis size and bed performance revealed to the sisterhood. Oh yes, their not laughing with you!”), the complaints come back, again and again, to money:
Pay for dinner …
Buying her yet another useless item she doesn’t need, like shoes or a brand new car ….
You get to pay for the privledge of being with this woman. …
You get to work while she lays around the house doing nothing. …
She can have the government garnish your wages to pay her just for being the female spouse. … You get to feel like the worthless scum you are and pay her for telling you that you are.
I’m not even sure what the fuck he’s even talking about with half of this shit.
But, again, there really is a simple solution to all these money issues. I’ll say it again, in bold this time: If you don’t want a girlfriend or wife who expects you to support her, don’t seek out women who expect you to support them.
This, evidently, is where Nightstorm’s grand strategy has gone a bit awry.
For, as I discovered from another posting of his from a few days back, it turns out that Nightstorm’s plan to totally avoid evil leech-like women apparently entails spending many hours flirting with women online. Indeed, he included a long transcript of an online chat he’d recently had with an (alleged) 18-year-old (alleged) girl who’d evidently decided after a couple of online chats that she wanted to be his girlfriend, despite the fact that the two of them have never actually met and in fact live in different states. (Hey, women can be idiots too.)
Nightstorm (posting as “shawnz”) decided they needed to set down the terms of their relationship, and began by asking her what she thought she brought to the relationship. She jokingly suggested: herself, her “sexy hair,” and her vagina.
[20:54] shawnz: if you become my GF..
[20:54] shawnz: I will get you, your sexy hair, and your vagina
[20:55] shawnz: and what do you expect out of me …
[20:55] [name redacted]: ur penis ur cuddles and ur texting/calling/being on cam and coming to visit!
[20:55] shawnz: ok, anything else
[20:56] [name redacted]: nope
That seems pretty straightforward. No mention of “family out-goings” or even paying for dinner.
Nightstorm then set out his terms for the relationship:
[20:58] shawnz: First, I want a girl who cooks and cleans the house, I want someone who doesn’t nag, cripe
[20:58] shawnz: bitch, or complain, someone who cuddles and anytime I want sex
[20:58] shawnz: someone who has ambition
[20:58] [name redacted]: demanding arent we lol
[20:58] shawnz: and someone who wants more than just love in the relationship, after all its hard work
Demanding, to be sure, lol, but he offers some things in return:
[20:59] shawnz: and what I offer is romance, a good paying salary for provision, and intimacy
[20:59] shawnz: I also offer you good self-esteem and reliability and faithfulness
Let’s pause for a moment to consider that bit in the middle after “romance”: “a good paying salary for provision.”
The two haven’t even met, and he’s already offering to support her financially.
It appears Nightstorm not only has not only bungled the whole “don’t pursue women who expect you to support them” strategy I have outlined above. He’s actually OFFERING TO SUPPORT A WOMAN WHO DOESN’T ACTUALLY EXPECT HIM TO SUPPORT HER.
It seems to me that if you want a woman who is financially dependent on you — you provide the money, she provides “anytime [you] want sex” — you pretty much forfeit your right to complain about her being financially dependent on you.
Fortunately for Nightstorm, [name redacted], and the rest of us on this planet, he decided that [name redacted] wasn’t serious enough to be his girlfriend. So, crisis averted. For now.
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| He’s up to his neck in pussy, no doubt. |
So the fellows over on NiceGuy’s MGTOW forum are discussing why women seem to like DJs — sorry, “why a womyn so crazy about DJs?” Because that’s what Men Going Their Own Way like to do: spend all their time speculating about the details of the dating lives of the women that they totally don’t want to have anything to do with.
I can’t answer for the, er, womyn, but last year I had a date with a woman who did a bit of DJing, and considering that I’m sort of a music obsessive her DJing seemed maybe just a tiny bit, you know, cool?
But apparently for the womyn it’s all about status. Also, women are apparently extremely stupid. According to the going-his-own-way-dude Iron John:
Womyn are focused always on two things 1) The immediate situation, as they lack foresight and hindsight, 2) Immediate foodchain. So when they find themselves in a night club they are looking for immediate indications of status. What do they see? A single individual who gets to control the music, lights, etc. They don’t see the artists that created this stuff ahead of time, the business men who owns the establishment, or the bankers who collect the profits. The see just one man who appears to be running everything. They can’t see anything else so to them it does not exist. Since that one man is in control of their immediate environment he MUST be the, “alpha male”. And we all know what girls think of him.
Yeah, that must be it. That’s why, whenever they get on a bus, women immediately start throwing themselves at the bus driver. He’s driving the thing! Obvious Alpha! Or why when they go to a convenience store, they throw themselves at the clerk. He controls access to the shriveled hot dogs and lottery tickets! Obvious Alpha! Or why, whenever they get into elevators, they throw themselves at the elevator buttons. They control where the elevator goes! Obvious Alpha.
I just wish I understood women as well as these guys.
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| Why yes, that IS my head. I’m wearing my head. |
So this has basically zilch to do with the topic of this blog, but I’ve been sort of obsessed lately with Rick Ross. Not the famous drug dealer, but the Miami rapper who borrowed his name. Now, I know that Ross’ schtick is vaguely ludicrous: he raps mainly about being a big-time drug dealer and spending insane amounts of money. He’s actually a former prison guard; it’s not clear if he’s ever sold a kilo of coke.
But somehow I can’t stop listening to him. The songs of his that are currently on heavy rotation in my apartment (and in my head) are BMF (Blowin’ Money Fast) and MC Hammer off his latest album. They’re essentually two versions of the same song with different lyrics. The first is, well, about selling dope. And spending insane amounts of money. The second is about being … MC Hammer. And selling dope. And spending insane amounts of money. It contains the following couplet:
I got 30 cars, whole lot of dancers
I take them everywhere, I’m MC Hammer
But that’s not what I’m here to tell you about. What I do want to bring to your attention is an interview with him I ran across on AskMen.com. It’s, well, a little odd. Consider this exchange:
How’s life in Miami?
Rick Ross : Ah, it’s wonderful. I’m currently in New York City, it’s 20 degrees… it feels like it. My nose feels like it. But two days ago I was in my briefs, in the pool, palm trees, I saw like — not ducks flying over me, but something else. Some other… amphibian… yeah, they be flying over me. Not like a duck or a bird, but something else. Them long-necked things. Geese. Yeah, geese. They look fly when you fly by, you know what I mean?
Well, I suppose technically speaking, geese are amphibious: that is, they can function in water or on land. I’m pretty sure they’re birds, though.
Later in the interview he notes how much he loves “that smoke for my mind. I love that smoke for my mind, you know? It inspires me.”
Yeah, dude. We can tell.
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