We Hunted the Mammoth: The FAQ-ening
Q) A mammoth, huh? What’s this blog about?
A) Misogyny, not mammoths.
Specifically, this blog focuses on what I call the “New Misogyny,” an angry antifeminist backlash that has emerged like a boil on the ass of the internet over the last decade or so. These aren’t your traditional misogynists – the social conservatives and religious fundamentalists who make up much of the far right.
These are guys, mostly, who range in age from their teens to their fifties, who have embraced misogyny as an ideology, as a sort of symbolic solution to the frustrations in their lives – whether financial, social, or sexual.
Some of them identify as Men’s Rights Activists, trying to cast their peculiar struggle against what they see as the excess of feminism and the advantages of women as a civil rights issue of sorts. Alongside those who explicitly label themselves MRAs we find a great number of antifeminist and antiwomen activists we might call Men’s Rights-adjacent – like those in the Skeptic and Atheist subcultures who still haven’t gotten over an offhand remark Skepchick founder Rebecca Watson made about a dude in an elevator a couple of years ago.
Others proclaim themselves Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW), declaring a sort of independence from women – while spending much of their time on message boards talking endlessly about them.
Still others see themselves as Pickup Artists (PUA), or masters of “Game,” espousing elaborate “scientific” theories of male superiority while trading tips on how best to pressure or manipulate drunk women into bed. This misogynistic wing of the PUA subculture has a considerable overlap with a subset of traditionalist and far-right blogs. Many of those in what has come to be called “the manosphere” — hey, don’t blame me, I didn’t come up with that name — don’t simply embrace misogyny; they also proudly embrace “scientific” racism and other bigotries.
Still, while some of the New Misogynists see themselves as conservatives, even “neo-reactionaries,” many identify themselves as libertarians or even as liberals. Theirs is a backlash that frames itself as a step forward.
That said, there are numerous posts here that don’t have anything to do with MRAs or MGTOWers or PUAs or any of their ilk. Sometimes I like to post cat pics.
Q) Ok, but you still haven’t explained the mammoth thing.
A) This is a reference to a quote I once posted from a dude who felt women weren’t sufficiently appreciative of what men had supposedly done for them over the ages. Here’s the quote, in all of its weird glory:
We men built a nice safe world for you all the the coal-mines of death, roads, railroads, bridges and tall office buildings. Its $1,000,000 spent per death of a man on a large dangerous project on average now you can just 9-5 it and call it a day in air-conditioned and heated safety. Forget about the wars we died in and the sacrifices made just ignore history or is it now hersorty? You are accruing the benefits without ever having to pay the price you still don’t have to sign up for the draft and who will protect you? The Sex and the City girls will fight off the North Koreans with their Manolo Blahniks?
Men gave you this modern world now you take it for granted we hunted the mammoth to feed you we died in burning buildings and were gassed in the trenches but that was just for fun right?
How quick and conveniently you forget who made this possible.
We gave you Leonardo da Vinci, Dostoevsky, Tolstoy not to mention countless others, Jonas Salk saved half the world from death and you just piss on it all.
This quote is such an amazing clusterfuck of misogyny, entitlement and unwarranted self-importance – not to mention historical ignorance – that the bit about mammoths became a catchphrase around here, neatly conveying pretty much everything this blog is against. And so I decided to make it the name of the blog.
Q) And who exactly are you?
A) David Futrelle. I’m a freelance writer and blogger living in Evanston, IL, and the guy behind the Confused Cats Against Feminism blog. For more on my illustrious career, see the David Futrelle FAQ.
Q) You’re against the Men’s Rights movement. Are you against men having rights?
A) Of course not. As hundreds of posts on this site show pretty clearly, the so-called Men’s Rights Movement is a hateful, reactionary movement driven largely by misogyny and hatred of feminism. It doesn’t help men. It encourages them to scapegoat women and stew in their own bitterness.
Q) Are you secretly funded by the international feminist conspiracy?
A) No. I’m not funded by any organization. Some readers have very kindly given me donations. You can too, if you wish.
Q) What’s with all the cat pictures?
A) I like cats.
If you bother to look at it carefully, you may know is true they are ridiculous, they make a big show that they are motivated by reason and facts without even trying to hide their butthurt and misogynistic prejudice.
Many of them are basement-dwellers and drama queens that are really mad that women can get casual sex while they can´t* and I have a good laugh at them but there is also no smoke without fire, is there?
Feminists themselves have through their poor behaviour and priorities (ban the word “bossy”, really?) more than contributed to this. There is a large element of misandry and extremism among feminists, misandry is a lot more socially acceptable than mysoginy, our western societies does have certain double-standards.
If you do not wish to contribute to their cause and fuel the fires of misogyny 2.0, please do not deny that there are existing problems.
Put simply, in general, both men and women needs to take a hard, critical look at their behaviour and mentality.
Ether we control our emotions or the emotions (and those snake oilmen and oilwomen manipulating them) controls us.
When you realize what your flaws are, do not accept them as making you who you are, fight them to the best of your ability.
Our societies have its problems, that will not go away if they are not tackled and people try to get along with their personal lives.
These problems are not as simple and easy as either the mainstream medias and politicos, the likes of Roosh or Antia makes it to be. Don´t know what they are? Try to be and remain informed, then.
* I for one do not presume that women having sex before marriage is a bad thing and do not blame that for divorces and the collapse of western civilization.
Ugh, I see a “both sides, both sides!” got through unnoticed.
I’ll just link this study that fromafar2013 linked earlier in the glossary.
http://pwq.sagepub.com/content/33/2/216.abstract
I find this site interesting and thoughtful; I actually found this from RationalWiki after glancing at Chateau Heartiste and finding it hilariously stupid. But yet, despite the general vibe and I suppose, disgust with the idea of PUA, I can’t help but admit that it /has/ helped me in life.
I won’t go too much into the details, but I certainly did lead an extremely isolated and lonely life, and effectively fit most of the conceptions, I think, of the “nice guy” who was excessively insecure and sexually frustrated. Certain PUA ideas toward being more aggressive, helped me become more confident and enabled me in relationships. There is a certain vibe of truth that applies to many women in my experience.
Since then, of course, I’ve dismissed most of the concepts beyond the basic(alpha is a pretty stupid, the amount of man-to-man hugging they do is epic, and its a cesspit of seriously scary woman-hat), but I do think there’s something valid about it. It helped me, at the least, and perhaps its unfortunate – I would have much rather have been more “successful” by being overall nice, self-effacing and perhaps a bit insecure, but it does seem to have some validity that by affecting overt confidence and reducing empathy, dating prospects worked out better for me. At least it did then; eventually I gained real confidence and have a kind of steady calmness which does seem to “work.”
It might be a sad testament toward society, culture or anything, but its worth mentioning. It doesn’t have much to do with the almost frothing insecurity and female-hate that a lot of these so-called PUA bloggers have though.
Arken, it’s definitely true that some men are insecure and passive-aggressive and try to gult-trip and manipulate women rather than forthrightly expressing their interest (which is deeply offputting if the woman isn’t a neurotic mess) — and that some elements of what PUA sell can help them self-present as more confident, which is more attractive to everyone, including women. But you can get that from any psychological support around being more assertive and raising your self-esteem. It doesn’t need to be couched in “this is what chicks dig, so fake it.” There are lots of great CBT resources for raising confidence and self-esteem.
And empathy isn’t the same thing as being self-effacing, AT ALL. Self-confident, forthright, assertive people can be extremely empathetic, while low self-esteem can wrap people up in a miserable ball of self-loathing self-regard, to the point that it’s almost impossible to even see another person. Trust me, I know — I’m a woman and this is something I have struggled with myself.
Healthy men find self-confident women attractive, too. It’s not really a gendered thing IME. No one finds neurosis, neediness, and self-hatred hot, unless they’re looking for someone who’s easy to manipulate and dominate.
Thalia: It’s not as simple as you make it out to be. You admitted that you’re a woman, which means that it’s highly likely that you are oblivious to the reality of the dating market, and what a man needs to do for a woman to even take notice.
Being confident helps, but it won’t get you far if it’s all you have. You need a particular type of confidence, of being aloof, outcome-independent, etc. I believe that this is a trait that is innate to men like mate-screening is to women, but that is medicated or socialized out of men over a period of time to due to increasing view of male behavior as pathologic. We’re to the point of treating young boys with ADHD medicine merely for being male.
“It doesn’t need to be couched in ‘this is what chicks dig, so fake it.’”
I don’t frequent many “PUA” blogs, but I browse Heartiste on occasion, but that’s not the message at all. Everything “anti-manoshere” tends to be horribly absolutist and takes everything at face value. The meme is actually “fake it ’till you make it,” that is, fake it until you’ve trained your mind to adopt these qualities naturally, and there is a mountain of psychological research to support the concept.
Heartiste can often be quite extreme; I certainly don’t share many of his views, but you also have to understand that a good portion of what he says is non-serious and nonsensical to the point of ridiculousness purely for entertainment value. I don’t understand why everyone is so tight-assed about everything. Loosen up.
I do agree with some of what he says. We do live in an overwhelmingly female hypergamy, and that there are tried-and-true methods for getting a woman’s attention, that when executed as taught, are nothing more than playful, teasing banter and conversation. “Game” is no less manipulation than is a push-up bra.
Unfortunately though, the modern dating/sexual marketplace forces men to engage in less savory “tactics” to earn a woman’s affection. Being a nice, confident guy will get you nowhere (unless you’re Channing Tatum or are absurdly wealthy), because desirable women get hundreds of those guys, sometimes per day.
Evolution has trained women to be choosy, because they are the ones who bear young, and because their eggs are limited and valuable. This is reflected in the dating market. You need to “shake her hamster from its slumber,” as it’s often put (her hamster being her rationalization), and put her in a frame where she is chasing you by demonstrating that you are a man of high value, i.e. that you are desirable to other desirable women. Putting women in this frame often requires ignoring them, being vague and aloof, and not expressing too much concern or affection. It’s an ugly truth, but it’s the truth nonetheless.
When a woman has won you, she is bored. I, and many, many other men, have learned this firsthand. A man who doesn’t know this absolute truth is a man who has never had a desirable woman with options. A desirable woman with options will, because of her genetic programming, always seek the highest-value mate she can. It’s instinctual, and she can’t think it away any more than she can think her heart to stop beating. When a women has won a man, it re-frames the situation into one where she is of higher value than the man because she no longer has to chase him to earn his affection. Whether it’s a man displaying lower value by ceding to her feminine charms or an inflation of her ego, the result is still her leaving to find a mate of higher value (as long as she is desirable and has a number of options). Why do you think the majority of divorces and break-ups are initiated by women?
The most offensive conceit of humankind is thinking that we are somehow above our animal instinct because we are of higher intelligence than other Earth life. This is not, and will never be, the reality.
I don’t hate women. Neither does Heartiste, for the record (unless you actually believe the blatant hyperbole seeping from almost every word he writes). I love women, and I love femininity in a woman. What I hate are the things that evolution and her psychology force me to do in order to have a fulfilling relationship with her.
I’m neither Feminist nor anti-Feminist (apart from being against the extremes on both sides). The very idea of fighting for rights for one sex, even if simply for equality, is ridiculous. I’m for rights, period. Human rights, inherent to every individual of every race, sex, and orientation. Favoring any one side inevitably leads to inequality. Frankly, I believe men and women are too inherently different and are too at-odds with the interests of one another to ever be perfectly equal, and that we should embrace difference, rather than impose uniformity. Idealist? Maybe. But it’s certainly better than the disastrous “Everything-ism” and tight-ass PC culture plaguing the world right now.
How do I email David? I want one if my comments deleted.
@Nitram Scroll up and click on David’s head.
Necro, I know. But Exaccus,
Maybe women get bored with you because you’re boring. Judging from the tedious teal deer you left, that’s probably the case. Usually people aren’t interested in spending time with someone who’s not only wrong, but incredibly pompous in his wrongness.
Thanks myriad!
Exaccus said: “When a woman has won you, she is bored. …. A man who doesn’t know this absolute truth is a man who has never had a desirable woman with options.”
A demonstrably false statement. I and a lot of other men I know with desirable wives who have had options and offers but who have remained not just married to but also interested in their husbands prove it.
But if you have been ditched by women who have found you boring, I suppose it is easier on the ego to conclude that all women are easily bored rather than to conclude that you are boring.
So basically you are what we MGTOW call a Mangina. I don’t know you, but I’m guessing you may not have much experience with women and how they operate. Not taking a cheap shot, seriously, just saying. I’m also gonna guess that you are/were a White Knight that has had little-to-no “success” with women. What the original post that man wrote about was correct. We are taken advantage of, and not respected in our modern society. Quid pro quo. Who stands to gain? Men stand to lose everything. Really, take the time to do some more research on how negatively we are treated by the Family Court system, Society, Governmental policies, Media, and women themselves.
Men are the backbone of society whether Women and Mangina’s want to believe that or not. Ignorance is bliss. Men are opting out. Why work so hard for a Society and our Women that trash us at every turn? Men are working hard, saving THEIR money, and opting out of a relationship/marriage system that has the cards stacked against them.
Don’t believe me about the backbone of society comment? Watch this YouTube video made by a woman! Enjoy it, she’s a rare gem.
Youtube: “JBTV3”
Her name is Janet Bloomfield.
All you ever wanted to know about Men and their Mammoth. This woman tells it all. Unless of course this comment gets dumped by the feminist propaganda machine that is this website.
JBTV3 in YouTube
[video link to unrelated video deleted by DF]
Disregard the video posted above, Not working. Just type JBTV3 in YouTube.
You clearly don’t go here, or you’d know that we’re all plenty familiar with Janet Bloomfield. She even has her own tag.
I guess I should just be glad you didn’t try to “introduce” us to GWW; she’s the one you dummies usually go for.
I think you’ll find, JC, that nobody gives a crap about whether or not you get married.
A few men are, indeed, opting out.
Bye-bye! Go your own way, already. Nobody back here will miss you.
I know that wasn’t directed at me, but I’m going to take issue with it nonetheless since it seems like a fairly broad-brush thing directed at male feminists. Besides, as you said, you don’t know any of us.
“So basically you are what we MGTOW call a Mangina.” And you’re what my people would call a knobhead. See, I can use infantile slurs too. See how silly they sound? Now let’s move along and talk like grownups.
“Haven’t had much experience with women and how they operate.” Yeah, no. My best friend is a woman. My boss is a woman. I socialise with a lot of women. I spent today at a picnic with some mixed company friends discussing philosophy and epigenetics. I wouldn’t say that I know how all women operate, since there’s a large number of women and some live in hard-to-reach places, but I know enough women to not feel that the lack of a Y chromosome makes it impossible for me to feel empathy for them.
” I’m also gonna guess that you are/were a White Knight that has had little-to-no “success” with women.” Yeah, again no. I don’t like bragging but I’m going to have to do so here in order to make my point: I had a really bad breakup back in April of ’13, and spent about half a year moping and being promiscuous. During the period from then until about October of that year I slept with fourteen different people. It wasn’t the psychologically healthiest thing I’ve ever done, but if you’re going to accuse me of not getting enough sex, I’m going to have to correct you.
“We are taken advantage of, and not respected in our modern society.” That’s true, but that’s because we live in an exploitative society. Men are exploited but so are women. Everyone gets exploited. Most of us work in jobs that involve exploiting other people to make our shareholders wealthier. It’s a fair point you make but it’s got nothing to do with gender issues.
“Quid pro quo.” I don’t think this means what you think it means. I think you meant to write “cui bono?”
“Who stands to gain? Men stand to lose everything.” I dunno, I suspect I’m still going to have a place in society as long as I’m good at enriching my shareholders. As you point out, we are taken advantage of; but that means we’re valued as long as we keep producing.
“Really, take the time to do some more research on how negatively we are treated by the Family Court system, Society, Governmental policies, Media” Again, this is true. But the people in charge of all of those things? They’re male. I agree that men get mistreated, but mostly by other men.
“and women themselves.” Then stop associating with women who’re assholes.
JC
You do realize that woman who calls herself JB is a rapist, right? She flat out admitted that she raped a man so no I’m not gonna to watch or read anything that woman says and it only comes to show that you only want people espessically women not to have a relationship but to kiss your butt.
You mgtows are nothing but miserable, insecure, boring guys thinking that the world owes you because you have a penis and men back then invented and discovered some things and not only that but crying that society espessically women that “trash” you, you turn around “trash” people too (calling men manginas, turn down women that are not HB10 and totally ignoring that women have been contributing to socitey since the dawn of time) so you are hyprocritcal too. Keep telling us that you are leaving and that you are happy you are really not if you keep showing up and repeating yourselves over and over again it just shows that you do want us. What you keep whining that “I’m done with women” is really “women are done with me and I can’t handle that” So go just go believe it or not society will be just the same if not better if you guys just leave.
And I’m saying this to all the mgtows on this page that just posted here.
(Missed the last lines.)
So to summarise: I have many female friends, with whom I feel able to empathise. I usually don’t have an issue getting people to sleep with me. I agree that people are often exploited in our society, but I try to do something about it generally. I know Latin. I have a career. I don’t have a stable relationship but that’s because right now my career is taking priority. I am everything you aspire to be.
The difference is that I didn’t get here via the answers your leading questions hint at. I got here by trying my damnedest to be a decent human being, and by understanding the world as it is, rather than taking comfort in conspiracy theories. You have nothing to offer anyone, least of all the vulnerable men you’re attempting to prey upon.
Go peddle your weak-ass wares elsewhere.
It’s really interesting to me how many MGTOWs (and MRAs and other manospherians and associates) attempt to gender-police David and then turn straight around and complain about how poorly they are treated by society.
They show no awareness of how gender policing creates the problems about which they are complaining. Family court gave the kids to your ex-wife and entered a child-support order on you? It did that because your ex-wife was the primary caregiver. She was the primary caregiver because the two of you didn’t equally share parenting responsibilities. You didn’t equally share parenting responsibilities because you and she were gender-policed into a style of relationship where the woman was the primary caregiver and the man was the primary breadwinner.
If you’re unhappy with this situation, stop fucking gender policing, both women and especially other men. So long as people like you think there is only one correct way to be a man, and attempt to punish men who don’t hop into your narrow little box, the problems about which you’re complaining will continue.
JC, your post follows mine and it looks like it is responding to me, so I’ll respond to it as such.
You said:
“I’m guessing you may not have much experience with women and how they operate”
If you are talking only about dating experience, I don’t have much breadth to my experience, but I have a lot of depth. A few long term dating relationships and then a marriage. I’m still on my first wife. Thinking back on it now, I suppose I really don’t know much of anything about how to try to woo a woman, because I never really had to try much. The women I dated nearly all pursued me, or it was an obvious mutual attraction so I didn’t have to do anything to win her attention or favor. I had other offers, too, but turned them down since I was usually already involved with someone (or, the offer, while flattering to receive, was from someone I wasn’t interested in). If you mean experience with women in general — as friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc — well, based on what you say here, it sounds like they tend to treat me quite differently from how they treat you. I haven’t met with much disrespect, from men or women.
“I’m also gonna guess that you are/were a White Knight that has had little-to-no “success” with women”
White Knights are those who treat women as different and special and needing to be taken care of, right? If so, then, no, that’s not me. I think women are quite capable of taking care of themselves. I wouldn’t want to be involved with one who isn’t.
“We are taken advantage of, and not respected in our modern society.”
The weak are taken advantage of and not respected. Are you weak? If so, you need to figure out how to gain strength. Or to figure out what constitutes “strength” in the first place.
“Men are opting out.”
Losers opt out.
“Men are the backbone of society … ”
Adults are the backbone of society.
“Why work so hard for a Society and our Women that trash us at every turn?”
Trash gets tossed.
Really, that hasn’t been my experience. I haven’t been taken advantage of or trashed. I’ve generally been treated respectfully.
“Really, take the time to do some more research on how negatively we are treated by the Family Court system, Society, Governmental policies, Media, and women themselves.”
As EJ (The Other One) pointed out, it is mostly men who are doing this to you. Those in the MRA and MGTOW crowd have put their finger on real problems, but their diagnoses, and thus their solutions, are way off.
Do you live in San Fran,Seattle or Portland,Oregon ?
Oh man I like cats too.
I really really really really love your blog!
Thank you for existing!
This has been my observation in regards to politics: For the Left, the gravest sin is hypocrisy, whereas for the Right, the gravest sin is disloyalty. I use the terms “hypocrisy” and “disloyalty” in a fairly broad sense. This appears to be an attempt to paint “leftists” as being disloyal (in this case, for attacking someone who appears to be on the same side), which never works. Likewise, attacking the right for being hypocrites doesn’t work either. Those things are barely a blip on the sin-o-meter for the other side.