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New Red Pill theory: Talking about relationships causes vaginas to reabsorb all moisture

Seems there's a drought
Seems there’s a drought

In the Ask The Red Pill subreddit, one perplexed alpha male thinks he may have irrevocably broken his sex thing’s vagina hole by accidentally talking about relationship stuff with her. 

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antifeminism boner rage creepy empathy deficit entitled babies evil sexy ladies grandiosity incoherent rage internet tough guy mansplaining men created civilization men invented everything men who should not ever be with women ever MGTOW NAWALT oppressed white men post contains jokes post contains sarcasm reactionary bullshit red pill vaginas women are children women in tech women's jobs aren't real

MGTOW channels Molly Bloom in stream-of-consciousness rant against “worthless abusive neglected finger pointing self made drama whores”

Typical Woman (Artist's Conception)
Typical Woman (Artist’s Conception)

The final chapter of James Joyce’s Ulysses, as all former English majors will tell you, consists of what has become known as Molly Bloom’s soliloquy, a punctuation-deprived 24,000-word stream-of-consciousness rush of words reflecting the thoughts of Mrs. Bloom as she lies in bed next to her husband Leopold Bloom.

The soliloquy is famous as much for its smuttiness as for its style, ending with a much-quoted passage in which Mrs. Bloom basically invents the notion of Yes Means Yes:

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It Came from the Trash Pile: MGTOW mad-libs edition

Bundta Dentata, a.k.a. Star Wars Sarlacc Bundt Cake from Yummy Crumble.  Click on pic for more.
Bundtina Dentata, a.k.a. Star Wars Sarlacc Bundt Cake from Yummy Crumble. Click on pic for more.

Today, another little treasure from the trash pile — that is, a comment someone left here but that I decided not to let through but which I have since decided might be worth sharing with the world.

This particular commenter — an excitable Man Going His Own Way reacting to my post Women are overpriced vagina buses that won’t let you ride them — has a bit of a fixation on a certain word that starts with “C,” which he managed to use 14 times in his tl;dr rant.

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The Soft Totalitarian’s Hole of Choice: MGTOW Poetry Korner

It's just a damn citrus fruit, people!
Sometimes a grapefruit is just a grapefruit.

Stickied to the top of the MGTOW subreddit is this lovely bit of … poetry, I guess:

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#gamergate anti-Semitism antifeminism antifeminist women creepy dark enlightenment disgusting women empathy deficit entitled babies evil ugly women female beep boop mansplaining men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA racism rape rape culture rape jokes that's completely wrong vaginas

The top 10 shocking “truths” about feminism I’ve learned from #HowToSpotAFeminist

That is a lot of tweeting.
That is a lot of tweeting.

So have you been following this whole  thing on the Tweeter? The hashtag was started a couple of days ago by some right-wing radio dudes as an excuse to say mean things about feminism. By yesterday it had turned into a monster, with some feminists jumping in to try to combat the forces of darkness; as I write this at 7:28 AM Wednesday it’s still going strong.

Happily, the hashtag is proving to be very educational. So I would like to share with you The top 10 shocking “truths” about feminism I’ve learned from #HowToSpotAFeminist. You may want to take notes, as some of them are truly shocking indeed.

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Women are overpriced vagina buses that won’t let you ride them, Man Going His Own Way explains

bus-20clip
Woman. (Not pictured: vagina.)

 

On Reddit’s MGTOW subreddit, one brave fellow calling himself Isaiah4verse1 lays down some hard truths about the mysterious creatures we call “women” (and sometimes “females”). It turns out that they aren’t actually creatures at all. They’re buses. Buses with vaginas.

Isaiah starts off his sermon by noting that women/vagina buses have pretty much no value outside of said vaginas:

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block that metaphor cupcake evil sexy ladies MGTOW misogyny MRA no girls allowed vaginas

The Parable of the Cupcakes and the Male Spaces

When did vagina cupcakes become a thing?
When did vagina cupcakes become a thing?

Welcome, my brethren, to the Church of Jesus Christ Going His Own Way From Icky Girls. Today’s sermon is a reflection on the Parable of Cupcakes Invading Male Spaces Because Vagina.

Please turn to MGTOW 2:8109 and read along with me.

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antifeminism entitled babies evil sexy ladies evil women female beep boop gynocracy icky lady fluids men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA paul elam vaginas

Men's Rights leader: "Gynocentric" females are lazy prostitutes with smelly vaginas who assault men with their cleavage

Temple of Gynocentrism
Temple of Gynocentrism

Noted Men’s Human Rights Activist Paul Elam reported, in a statement earlier this week, that “female gynocentrics” are smelly, lazy prostitutes who assault men with their cleavage and expect men to pick up the tab. Elam believes we live in a “gynocentric” culture, and seems to believe that most women and possibly most men are “gynocentric,” which means (if I remember this correctly) that they worship gynecologists.

I may not be remembering that correctly.

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empathy deficit entitled babies evil SJWs imaginary oppression kitties mansplaining men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA the enigma that is ladies vaginas

Men's Rights Activist: "I'm not into music by women, because I can't identify with getting my period in a business meeting."

I'm just not into music by human beings
I’m just not into music by human beings

So over on the Men’s Rights subreddit, a charming fellow with the charming name of FuckAllSJWs wants the world to know that

I’m not into music by women, because I can’t identify with getting my period in a business meeting, or sympathize with some waiflike chick strumming a guitar while singing weakly about her feelings.

Or one trying to use her tits to get airplay.

Thanks for your opinion! We are all better for having heard it.

Here’s Yoko Ono with a rebuttal:

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a voice for men antifeminism crackpottery creepy do you even lift drama kings entitled babies female beep boop gender policing imaginary oppression men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA not-quite-explicit threats post contains sarcasm rape culture reactionary bullshit shaming tactics twitter vaginas whores

Attila vs the Lynch Mob Cult Savages: A Case Study in Twitter "Activism"

Attila Vinczer: The Men's Rights Revolution Will Be Well-Hydrated
Attila Vinczer: The Men’s Rights Revolution Will Be Well-Hydrated

Today, the first in what will be an occasional series of posts on the Twitter activity — sorry, “activism” — of Men’s Rights Activists and other misbegotten misogynistic miscreants.

Sorry about the cheap alliteration at the end of the sentence there, but I’ve spent the last few hours reading  Tweets from Attila Vinczer (@Alvhun) and I guess his penchant for tacky rhetorical special effects has rubbed off on me a little.

Attila, the “Activism Director” for Men’s Rights hate site A Voice for Men, is an energetic Twitter “activist.” While not quite as hateful or vicious as his colleagues Dean Esmay or the now-banned Judgy Bitch (aka Janet Bloomfield), Attila has developed a Twitter style all his own, spewing forth minor masterpieces of overwrought incoherence that are the unintentional result of his attempts to pull off complicated literary maneuvers without a mastery of the basics. There is a kind of poetry to them.