We Hunted The Mammoth
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Worlds are colliding! Two of my obsessions have weirdly converged: while looking through the semen retention subreddit, one of my favorite sources of weirdo misogyny to write about, I ran across a post from someone who had used ChatGPT to write a poem celebrating semen retention.
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Twitter’s @amerix, a self-professed guru on men’s health, has a lot of advice for men on a wide range of topics, including masturbation (“reckless ejaculation”), older women (“old camels”), carrying a woman’s purse (“treat her bags as a fatal infectious disease like leprosy”), and margarine (the devil’s toast spread).
Just fucking wank it, ok? New research in the journal Sexualities discovered that people who engage with anti-masturbation communities tend to feel more suicidal after a perceived “relapse.”
So today a Redditor went to the relationship_advice subreddit with an important question: “why does coming to ejaculate matter so much that I lose relationships because I choose not to ejaculate but let my sexual partner have orgasms. (Archived here.)
Incel story time! Today’s story is called “STACY ROOMMATE ATE MY CUM,” and it was recently posted on the Incels.is forums by someone called HiddenUzer.
Sperm is in the news again. On Friday, as some of you may know already, Utah state Rep. Karianne Lisonbee (a Republican, naturally) offered her take on the always controversial topic, suggesting to the press that women should feel just fine in the post-Roe age because they can control the “intake of semen” into their bodies:
Attention men! Sure, you’re already stretched thin and squeezed out by your rent or mortgage payments. But if you want to be a real man, you’re going to need a second house in which you can be your masculine selt without any interruptions from naggy women trying to make you all girly.
So the folks over in the Collapse subreddit — devoted to the allegedly impending end of civilization as we know it — are worried about a danger most people haven’t even heard about: the worldwide drop in fertility.
One thing I’ve noticed about Men’s Rights Activists is that they like to type. Type, type, type — they LOVE it!
