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Return of Kings: Stock up on guns and ammo in case Hillary wins

Reminder to racist white dudes: These guys lost
Reminder to racist white dudes: these guys lost

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Donald Trump has been more than hinting for some time that he might not accept the election results if he loses, talking endlessly about a “rigged election” at his rallies and telling the New York Times that “we’re going to have to see” whether or not he’ll recognize Hillary Clinton as president if, as seems exceedingly likely, she wins — something he’d promised to do only a short time earlier in the first debate.

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Mr. Bigot Goes to the Beach

Remember your sunscreen!
Remember your sunscreen!

Return of Kings, that burning internet dumpster fire of pickup artistry and Trumpian bigotry, has decided to go all grade-school on us this week, posting an essay that is basically an adult, alt-right version of the classic “what I did on my summer vacation” essay assignment.

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Porn’s huge dingles are a form of “psychological warfare” against men, Return of Kings insists

The hot dog is a lie!
The hot dog is a lie!

Brace yourself, fellas, because Return of Kings is about to blast you with THE TRUTH about those gigantic peens you find everywhere in porn — the TRUTH being that porn penises tend to be larger than the average penis in the real world.

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Return of Kings: “American girls are the greasy remnants of the meal we ate last night”

Your metaphor has arrived
Your metaphor has arrived

Cut a little slack for the dude who calls himself Tuthmosis Sonofra, one of the more repellant of the stable of “writers” who regularly contributes to the internet garbage fire that is Return of Kings. Why? Well, metaphors are hard. Especially when you try to draw them out to the length of a blog post.

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Return of Kings: Men are being oppressed by “ugly minority girls” winning beauty pageants

Magnolia Maymuru
Magnolia Maymuru

The assault on the world’s beleaguered male majority continues, at least in the tiny minds of the readers of lady-hating internet garbage fire Return of Kings. The latest insult to all that is male and good?

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Roosh: Hillary will usher in a “techno-matriarchy” and ban talking to women in public

Roosh V, trying out the "grizzled prospector" look
Roosh V, trying out the “grizzled prospector” look

With their “God Emperor” way down in the polls, some of Trump’s most enthusiastic supporters are beginning to face the fact that Hillary Clinton will quite likely be the next president of the United States.

Or should I say the next techno-matriarch?

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MGTOWs and PUAs agree that women suck, disagree whether MGTOWs or PUAs are biggest losers

The manbaby battle continues
The manbaby battle continues

Watching self-proclaimed pickup artists and Men Going Their Own Way going at each other is vaguely reminiscent of watching Trotskyist sects fight it out over the precise lessons that true revolutionaries should draw from the Russian Revolution.

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Return of Kings: Female Olympic champs should get fake gold medals because women suck

All gold everything
All gold everything

Woman-hating internet garbage fire Return of Kings is celebrating the start of the Olympics by lamenting the fact that most of the athletes the US is sending to the games are women.

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Suspect in Baton Rouge cop killings: “Don’t get a woman if you cant keep her in check”

"Cosmo" explains himself on YouTube
“Cosmo” explains himself on YouTube

The man suspected of murdering three Baton Rouge police officers in what’s being called an “ambush” shooting earlier today has been identified as a 29-year-old ex-Marine named Gavin Long.

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Return of Kings: “Like small children, most modern women have no skills”

Every Red Piller's not so secret fantasy
Every Red Piller’s not so secret fantasy. Also, that’s clearly an older Davis Aurini in the white turtleneck.

So everyone’s favorite woman-hating garbage site Return of Kings has a new post up detailing “4 Signs That Modern Women Have Become Petulant Children.”