We Hunted The Mammoth
Is MRA thinking simply beyond satire?
Cartoonist Rebecca Cohen (@GynoStar on Twitter) recently decided to offer a satirical take on the false rape accusation paranoia that’s endemic in Men’s Rights circles, producing the list of tips below, designed to mirror some of the terrible advice that’s regularly given to women on how to avoid rape.
If there are any stray British MRAs reading this blog, have I found an opportunity for you! How would you like to serve under the political whiz-kid who triumphantly led the Justice for Men And Boys (and women who love them) Party a landslide victory in the UK election this May, unexpectedly winning 216 seats in …
Oh, wait, the party didn’t win 216 seats. It got 216 votes. Out of 30,691,680 total votes cast, for a stunning 0.0007% of the total.
That’s one-fortieth the votes received by the Cannabis Is Safer Than Alcohol party, one-eighteenth of those won by the old school classic Monster Raving Loony Party. (Note to non-Brits: those are both real parties.) 153 of these votes were for J4MB leader and A Voice for Men friend Mike Buchanan; 63 went to the party’s other candidate.
Anyway, fresh off this magnificent triumph, Buchanan has just announced that he’s now taking applications for an assistant — that is, for the prestigious post of Deputy Leader for the party. He’s looking for someone who will help to “enable the party to move to the next stage of its development.” which presumably involves getting more than 0.0007% of the vote next time.
On Reddit’s Ask The Red Pill subeddit, a fellow called ThreeEyez comes to the group with a romantic conundrum:
I’ve known some guys to say that they just chill with a girl and just ask her for some head so they don’t have to kiss her. Usually I figured you have to escalate with a chick like make out with her, get her horny, etc. In my case, thats what I usually have to do. Has anybody else had success in just asking?
While one rude fellow tries to derail the conversation with some totally irrelevant comments (“You don’t enjoy kissing? Perhaps you suck at kissing”) others rally and give young ThreeEyez some highly useful advice.
The not-so-good folks at A Voice for Men are still so steamed about the Southern Poverty Law Center calling them out on their misogyny that they can’t think straight. Consider the unhinged anti-SPLC rant AVFM’s “chief operations officer” Dean Esmay posted on the site after the SPLC’s Mark Potok appeared on David Pakman’s internet show last week.
On May 7th, as I noted here yesterday, Men’s Rightser Mike Buchanan only managed to score a humiliating 153 votes in the UK election. This brought the total number of votes cast for Buchanan’s Justice for Men and Boys Party to — let me doublecheck the math here — 216 votes. 216.
The Labour Party, by contrast, won a total of 9,347,326 votes. But this was considerably less than the victorious Tories, and was seen as such a disaster for the party that Labour leader Ed Miliband resigned in disgrace.
But Men’s Rights Activists can never admit defeat. And so huge loser Mike Buchanan has declared his total drubbing to be a victory of sorts, telling the world — or whatever tiny portion of it that was paying attention — that his party had “achieved what we set out to achieve.”
We Hunted the Mammoth is now seeking “money” to ostensibly pay for “legal advice” in order to spite the Honey Badger Brigade and hold them accountable for annoying me by raising more than $20,000 — no really — to finance a completely ridiculous lawsuit that I will bet a million imaginary dollars will never actually be filed against the Calgary Expo for tossing them out.
ATTENTION, MEN OF THE WORLD! More specifically, straight men. Even more specifically, straight men who are gigantic woman-hating douchebags.
Your boy Roosh Valizadeh, pickup guru and rape legalization advocate, would like to warn you about the impending end of the world, at least in terms of you being able to get into women’s pants.
Inspired by the DEFCON system used by the US Military to rate the level of military threat — DEFCON 5 means “chill out, we’ve got this” and DEFCON 1 means “holy crap we’re all gonna die” — Roosh has come up with what he calls the DEFCOCK system — get it? get it? — in order to give dudes “objective and standardized information” on how dude-friendly different countries are.
In countries currently at DEFCOCK 5 — that is, which have what he thinks as the healthiest environment for men — (straight, cis) men benefit from
NOTE: All these suggestions also apply to MGTOWs and incels, especially incels. And pretty much everyone else I write about on this blog.
Our old friend Roosh Valizadeh has chosen today — which, in case you’ve forgotten, is APRIL FIRST, wink wink nudge nudge — to announce that he’s buying an island off the coast of Belize, upon which he will build a new island nation called Rooshland.
In addition to “free and fast internet connections” and no income tax, Roosh promises the men who purchase land on his island that they will be able to enjoy
a rotating population of sluts provided by the government … but violent rape is not allowed so you will have to provide these sluts with the tingles they require for leg opening.
And “if your game level is too low,” Roosh adds, you can always get them drunk.
This is all very hilarious — by which I mean creepy as fuck — coming from a man who once confessed — no April Fool’s joke this time — that while in Iceland he had, er, “sex” with a woman so drunk that “[i]n America, having sex with her would have been rape, since she legally couldn’t give her consent.”
While the “free government sluts” proposal is, to say the least, problematic, I don’t think it would be a bad idea for Roosh to go live on an island far away from the rest of us, and take some of his fans with him. I just think he’s picked the wrong island.
Here are some better suggestions.
The We Hunted the Mammoth Pledge Drive continues! If you haven’t already, please consider sending some bucks my way. (The PayPal page will say you are donating to Man Boobz.) Thanks!
I feel I need to start this post with a warning. And I hope you will take it seriously. Because someone at Return of Kings, Roosh V’s horrendous Red Pill megasite, has decided to try to write fancy.
And what they have produced instead is some kind of Lovecraftian monstrosity.
So, brace yourself, because you and I are going to read “Bad Things Happen When Women Lead And Men Follow,” by someone calling himself Elrit Frisia.
I will remain by your side the entire time.
Take a deep breath, and let’s begin:
Davis Aurini, the bald half of the Sarkeesian Effect brain trust, has famously declared himself “a huge white nationalist on paper.”
The candid photo above, which I definitely did not assemble using photoshop ten minutes ago, reveals that this is not entirely true. He is, in fact, a tiny white nationalist on paper.
NOTE: When I say that I “definitely did not assemble [this photo] using photoshop ten minutes ago,” this should be taken to mean that, yes, I did in fact assemble this photo using photoshop ten minutes ago. I spent a few minutes of this lovely spring day crudely photoshopping a swastika armband onto a puppy. This is the sort of sacrifice I make for this blog.
