We Hunted The Mammoth
By David Futrelle
Yep, some NoFap dude did a NoFap version of Johnny Cash’s famous cover of Nine Inch Nails’ “Hurt,” with the lyrics changed to make a point about the evils of “cooming” while jerking off to porn. Just listen to this mess, if you can:
By David Futrelle
Just like Men Going Their Own Way, who can’t stop talking about the women they’re ostensibly “going their own way” from, militant NoFappers can’t stop obsessing over the sexual appeal (or alleged lack thereof) of the women they’re definitely not masturbating over.
By David Futrelle
So I took a little stroll through the Semen Retention subreddit again today, and there were demons afoot. Or at least inside the brain of one of the gentlemen there.
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By David Futrelle
It’s nearly Christmas, and so I’ve decided to give myself an early present by giving in to my strange fascination with the Semen Retention subreddit, again.
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By David Futrelle
Ok, I confess that I wandered into the Semen Retention subreddit again. It’s like an addiction for me.
By David Futrelle
As No-Nut November nears its climax, one reactionary Catholic tweeter is asking those who’ve given up nutting to porn whether or not their intentions are pure.
By David Futrelle
A cryptocurrency guru who calls himself Crypto de Medici is celebrating the start of #NoNutNovember by bringing the gospel of Semen Retention to his nearly 90 thousand Twitter followers.
By David Futrelle
The Semen Retention subreddit is a place of magic and wonder. That is, many of its inhabitants believe that the simple non-activity of not masturbating for an extended length of time gives them literal magic power. As for the wonder, well, I wonder just what it is they’re smoking.
By David Futrelle
If you’ve ever wondered what the “precious bodily fluids”-obsessed General Jack D. Ripper from Dr. Strangelove would sound like if he were, like, really into crystals and auras and shit, well, he might sound a bit like this dude I found in the Semen Retention subreddit today, warning his fellow semen-retainers of the alleged spiritual war being waged against their good vibrations.
By David Futrelle
These days, fascism rears its ugly little head in the strangest of places. And there are few places stranger than the home of my favorite Reddit subculture — the Semen Retention subreddit, where men go to talk about their hobby of not ejaculating ever because this gives them magical powers or some shit.
