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>Can’t cook, can’t clean. What can you do?

>

Silly woman, that’s not how to wash a baby!

It was a question that baffled even the brilliant Dr. Freud: “What do women want?” Freud died without ever knowing the answer to this crucial question, but luckily we won’t have to. Because douchebag blogger MarkyMark has figured it out. What do women want? They want to not get fat.

Did you ever notice how women will fret all the time about whether or not they look fat, even if they don’t?  Did you ever wonder why?

I have a theory as to why women go crazy over gaining weight: their sex appeal is ALL they have.  Modern women, in their heart of hearts, know that they have nothing else to offer a man.  They cannot cook; shoot, some women can’t even boil water!  They cannot clean.  They cannot offer good companionship, because they’re not good companions; if anything, they’re man hating battle axes who would curse a man by being with him.  Yeah, I said it!  The modern woman curses a man by being with him!  The modern trollop, er woman, offers NOTHING to a man but her sex appeal, and that’s why she freaks out over any weight gain.  For me, it’s as simple as that…

Can’t cook, can’t clean. Damn. Now I’ve got this Adam Ant song stuck in my head:

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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.

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>Valentine’s Day, Massacred

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Don’t let it be said that the dudes of the manosphere aren’t ready for Valentine’s Day. Oh, they haven’t been ordering little teddy bears and giant bouquets of flowers for their sweeties. They’ve been getting ready to throw a fit at the very notion of the ersatz holiday.

Marc Rudov, a self-described MRA, “relationship expert” and all-around asshole, has been trying to organize a boycott of VD for several years now. “There’s nothing romantic about coercing men to oblige female entitlement,” Rudov recently told AOL News. “Valentine’s Day artificially and unilaterally caters to women. It’s the media’s annual male-bashing fest.”

Over on The Spearhead, grizzled MRA veteran Zed has written not one but two articles attacking VD, which he describes as “Extortion of Insincere Materialistic Tokens of Affection Under Threat of Emotional Violence Day.” Meanwhile, Paul Elam — never one for subtlety — has one-upped old Zed, denouncing the holiday as “a socially coerced day of hyper-entitlement for a generation of princess leeches.” Endorsing Rudov’s boycott, Elam seems especially incensed by the omnipresent “Every Kiss Begins With Kay” ads that clutter the airwaves every year as VD approaches.

One commenter at The Spearhead summons up his inner comedian:

There’ two types of VD. One is a potentially serious affliction that can be caught from sexual relations with a woman. Symptoms include tiredness, lack of sex drive, acute pain in the groin region and loss of work productivity. It’s difficult to treat as the parasite responsible is very demanding and difficult to get rid of.

The other is a bacterial infection treatable with antibiotics and rest.

Marc Rudov: Trying to hypnotize you with his teeth.

Ba-dum tsssh!

It’s almost cute, all this energy and anger. These guys seem to really think that they’re the first people to ever have an issue with Valentine’s day, the first people to ever get irritated by “every kiss begins with Kay.”

But, guess what? Lots of people hate Valentine’s day. I generally find it pretty annoying myself, and the Kay commercials, which basically suggest that the women of America are jewel-hungry prostitutes and the men their johns, set my teeth a-grinding.  Granted, I’m generally been most hostile to VD when I’ve been single, but when a couple of years ago I discovered that my then-girlfriend was a really really really big fan of the holiday (and not a fan of my more laid-back approach to it) it was actually one of the things that led me to break up with her a few weeks later.

You know who else hates Valentine’s day and the blizzard of retrograde sexist advertising that accompanies it? Lots and lots of women, especially those of the feminist persuasion, who generally don’t take kindly to the insinuation that women are diamond whores. Indeed, a couple of weeks back, hundreds of the mostly women of Reddit’s TwoXChromosomes subreddit happily upvoted a topic with the title “If I see one more freakin’ “Every Kiss Begins with Kay” commercial I am going to find whoever is responsible for that nonsense and take a big fat poop on his face. “

Hell, Valentine’s Day hatred is everywhere. In the London Times, Helen McNutt — a woman, if her first name is any indication — spelled out “20 reasons it’s okay to hate Valentine’s Day.”  Meanwhile, the Onion News Network ran a hilarious piece on the “Annual Valentine’s Day Stoning Of a Happy Couple .”

And if you want your VD hatred live and direct, you can always monitor Twitter for bitter anti-VD tweets.

Indeed, VD hatred has become so omnipresent that the folks at Slate, hoping to gin up some pageviews with some well-timed contrarianism, ran a piece — get this — actually defending the holiday. “I’m almost afraid to say it,” the piece began, “I have plans for Valentine’s Day. … If I’m lucky, there may even be chocolate and flowers involved.”

Like a lot of VD haters, I have plans for February 15th. They definitely involve chocolate, bought at a steep discount.

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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.

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>The Price of Love

>

Apparently, it’s only 15p!
With Valentine’s day fast approaching, I thought I’d point you all to an interesting little set of online apps, courtesy of the fellows at NoMarriage.com: calculators that purport to tell dudes the true cost of sex — with wives, girlfriends, and what the kids today are calling “randoms.” 
The assumptions behind each of these calculators are pretty revealing: they essentially assume that guys generally resent the women they’re involved with, and only spend time with them because it’s necessary to pretend to be interested in them in order to get sex. The calculators also assume that guys are more or less paying for everything.
 
I ran a few numbers, and the results are telling: for the guys for whom these calculators are basically designed — that is, guys who generally dislike spending non-sexy time with women, and who believe that “every kiss begins with Kay” — the cost can easily be hundreds of dollars for each and every time they and their special ladies manage to set aside their resentments long enough to engage in a grudging bout  of the old in-and-out.

By contrast, for guys going out with independent (and perhaps even feminist) women they actually like and enjoy spending time with, who pay their own way, and who live nearby, the putative cost of sex can literally be pennies a pop. For married men who actually like their working wives, the cost of sex can actually be negative, because it’s cheaper to cohabit than to live alone.

In a nutshell: misogyny costs you, big time. But actually liking women? That makes sense — dollars and sense!

For dedicated Men Going Their Own Way, the calculators, with a little tweaking, can also be used to calculate the cost of NOT having sex. Using the girlfriend calculator, replace “How many hours do you spend having stupid conversations with your GF (per week)” with “How many hours do you spend having stupid conversations with other MGTOW (per week).” Ignore the rest of the questions until you get to the one about your hourly wage. Then, for the question asking how many times you have sex per week, ignore this wording and simply input “1.” Voila! You have calculated the (opportunity) cost per week of not having sex!

So, dear readers, what is YOUR cost of sex?
— 
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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.
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American Women: They use too much birth control and it’s messing up their vaginas

 

This is what aspartame and birth control will do to you.

I‘ve been disappointed so far with the BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN blog. Most of the posts so far have been pretty straightforward and, frankly, boring, with none of that inventive, over-the-top loopiness that I associate with misogynists of real quality. But this post from yesterday more than makes up for lost time:

American women are drugged-out zombies

American women are constantly in chemicals. Chewing bubble gum constantly (aspartame, which causes temporary retardation). The makeup. They are always doing diet things for extra doses of aspartame. They use too much birth control and it’s fucking up their vagina. They have periods for 2 weeks out of the month. They flirt with other men when married. They have a few steps up on the ladder in the courts. They have a feminist movement where they actually think they were born superior to men. They have a pair of shoes for every day of the month, which third world slaves made. Their makeup is made out of animal fat by product. They are in their own world and not reality from popping too many anti depressants for minor mood swings. lol they’re nuts!

LOL indeed, my good sir. LOL indeed.

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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.

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>Three 6 Mafia: Probably not regular readers of Feministing.

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Not on their way to a feminist consciousness-raising group.

I listen to music mostly while doing other things, like reading or working on this little blog, so I generally do my best to ignore the lyrics. For the last few years, I hadn’t been listening to all that much rap, because rap has more words per song than pretty much any music ever, and I found the overflow of verbiage too hard to ignore. But recently a little switch went off in my brain and now I find I can listen to it without getting terribly distracted.  So I’ve been listening to a lot of rap, sort of making up for lost time.

Since I’m not looking for clever lyrics, I ignore a lot of the more “conscious” rap and tend to go for stuff that is fairly mindless, crude and repetitive, heavy with hooks. Lately, for example, I’ve been listening to a lot of Three 6 Mafia, a group not known for great subtlety. Here’s the hook for one of their songs, Ridin’ Spinners, a paean to spinning rims:

I’m ridin’ spinners, I’m ridin’ spinners
They don’t stop
I’m ridin’ spinners, I’m ridin’ spinners
They don’t stop
I’m ridin’ spinners, I’m ridin’ spinners
They don’t stop
I’m ridin’ spinners, I’m ridin’ spinners
It’s rollin’

I’m ridin’ spinners, I’m ridin’ spinners
They don’t stop
I’m ridin’ spinners, I’m ridin’ spinners
They don’t stop
I’m ridin’ spinners, I’m ridin’ spinners
They don’t stop
I’m ridin’ spinners, I’m ridin’ spinners
It’s rollin’

I should say that I’m assuming, based on the hook, that the songs is a paean to spinners. Maybe it’s some sort of subtle critique. I don’t know, since I don’t know any of the other words to the song.

The other night I decided to look up the lyrics to a bunch of Three 6 Mafia songs to see what exactly I’ve been listening to. Basically, their songs are about drugs and general debauchery, with a special emphasis on drinks laced with cough syrup  (a.k.a. sizzurp, purple drank). Given that one of their songs is called “Sippin on Syrup,” I was not altogether shocked by this.

But the lyrics to the song called, er, Slob on My Knob went a bit … beyond what I was expecting, even given the title. Here’s one of the more, er, memorable parts of the song. (More sensitive readers may want to stop reading at this point. Maybe everyone should.)

First find a mate
Second find a place
Third find a bag, to hide the ho face
Real name Rover
I said bend over
I started to knock, then came the odor
Smelled like mush
Shouldn’t had a woosh
Told her to stop, and take a douche
While she did that
I didn’t want the cat
So I bounced out and never came back

Fellas, I wouldn’t really recommend you put this song on your Valentine’s day mix cd for your sweetie.

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>Eggstremely odd

>Another screenshot from Fat, Ugly or Slutty, the new blog calling out misogyny in the online gaming world. I know I just posted about this site, but, uh, take a look. Dude, you want to do … what?

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>The Cupcake Files, Part Three: MGTOW Proboards Forum Edition

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Delicious, but deadly!

As I pointed out in the previous two installments of  The Cupcake Files, the Men Going Their Own Way movement has taken the deliciously innocent word “cupcake” and turned it into a synonym for an evil-she-bitch-from-hell.

Today, quotes on “cupcake” from the MGTOW proboards forum. (I’m too lazy to provide links for every example; they all can be found by searching for the word “cupcake” on the forum.)

Cupcake: Uses more than her fair share of health care resources.

[O]utside of sports medicine, 90% of health care is consumed by cunts. Men usually die from our first encounter with the system (heart attack, accident, violence, etc.) It is the cunts and their breeding that devour most of the health care dollars spent in this country. Probably even higher when you consider most men have chronic conditions as a result of either dangerous work to support cupcake or they live in total and abject stress due to having a manipulative withholding shrew at home who has racked up so much debt the man knows he’ll be working until he is 104.


Cupcake: A monster disguised as a cupcake.

Ever notice how the less attractive females generally have the better personalities? Why do you think that is? Do you think unattractive females are genetically predisposed to have fun, laid-back personalities?

No, of course not. They have better personalities because they are making up for a flaw in another department. They are getting away with the maximum they can get away with, but underneath that fun cupcake is a MONSTER.


Cupcake: Should probably be forbidden from using Facebook

If cupcake has a facebook account you are basically giving her a free pass to cheat on you. She will have old flings on her account, past men she was interested in, all it takes is for you to piss her off one day and she will have one these men provide a “shoulder to cry on”.


Cupcake: Has a loaded gun, and it’s pointed at YOU, mister!

The gun is loaded, cocked and pointed at your head. Cupcake has had her finger on the trigger from the moment you said “I do” and she will pull it the moment you cease to entertain her.

Cupcake: Tired of having sex with you, but enjoys luxury cruises.

I will admit, it feels good to eat, have sex, fall asleep, then wake up in again for morning sex but what guys don’t realize is that this does not last indefinitely .

Eventually, you get pussyfied from all this pleasure and you start putting up with more and more female demands as her pussy chips away at you to the point where you wake up one day and you have 3 kids, no friends, no hobbies, you’re overweight, she refused sex for the second week, and now you have to go to work in a few hours to put in a 12 hour shift because cupcake wants to go on a luxury cruise where she just might have sex with you; but even then, it won’t be all that great because she’s now overweight and don’t care.

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>Call of Rude-y

>Thanks to the good folks at board.crewcial.org, I just discovered a new blog called Fat, Ugly or Slutty, which collects crazy misogyny and other boobery from various gaming sites. A couple of the most inventive examples so far:

Link and link.

NOTE FOR NON GAMERS: “cod” in the first screenshot refers to Call of Duty, not the fish. I think.

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Bald women, meat toilets and the MGTOW Paradox

 

Technique … not … working!

The horny straight dudes who decide to go all MGTOW — that is, to Go Their Own Way, avoiding women — often find themselves facing what we might call the MGTOW Paradox — that is, they hate the sexy ladies, but the sexy ladies keep giving them boners. So many of them go to great lengths to figure out how to make women appear disgusting to them. We’ve discussed some of these techniques before.

Here’s another one to add to the list, from Ashmead on the MGTOW proboards forum:

Having read Esther Villars book, one of the stand out sentences was that if you shave a woman’s head and remove all the make up, the only difference is a fatter body (breasts included), wider hips and her vagina. …

Try it – when you see a ‘hot’ female, imagine them without the dyed hair, lip gloss, eye liner, foundation, high heels (longer legs), expensive clothes, perfume etc, really DECONSTRUCT the illusion.

It takes ALL the power away.

And you’re left with…. their personalities… oh well.

Some of the other fellows chime in with their observations. shade47 asks:

how could men take anything seriously that looks like a flabby 15 y/o boy when you shorten the hair and take off the makeup.

avoidwomen concurs, adding:

It’s no surprise then that I find porn repulsive. Women really do look ugly(and almost all the same) in their birthday suit without all their clothes and makeup.

But it is dontmarry who takes the whole discussion to a new level. Strip women of clothes, hair and makeup, he argues, and you’re not just left with women’s personalities:

You’re left with what you started with – just a piece of meat.

Only this time, it’s less visually appealing.

A toilet is still a toilet, before flushing or after flushing.

You don’t thank the toilet for its companionship, or appreciate its personality.

All you need to do is use the toilet. Use it.

So there you have it. Women are just meat toilets.

Somehow I suspect that dontmarry isn’t going to be fending off a lot of marriage proposals from the women of the world.

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>The Cupcake Files, Part Two: NiceGuys Edition

>

Grr! Argh!

As I pointed out in The Cupcake Files: Part One, the Men Going Their Own Way movement has taken the deliciously innocent word “cupcake” and turned it into a synonym for evil-she-bitch-from-hell.

Today we continue our  look at the characteristics of a truly modern cupcake — relying, this time, on the words of the good fellows at NiceGuy’s MGTOW forum. (I’m too lazy to provide links for every example; they all can be found by searching for the word “cupcake” on NiceGuy.)


Cupcake: A fan of cocaine. And abusive criminals.

What attracts the hottest females today? Simple. He has to physically and emotionally abuse her, have a police record and a cocaine habit (and must share the coke with cupcake) then he fucks her up and down the stairs, gets her pregnant, then leaves her forever off to the next hairy hole.

Cupcake: Less interesting than your dude friends, except you can fuck her.

[T]ake away hormones and what’s left?? You’re going to hang around cupcake for: her intriguing political views?, her love of sports, cars and motorcycles?, her culinary skills and the fact that she’s a selfless friend? Point is most women these days have NOTHING to offer a man & reply solely on exploiting men.

Cupcake: The cause of global warming.

Global warming is caused by women, why do you think rich men tear down the planet to make so much money, because some gold digging cunt has to have $20K in cloths a week, 3 SUV’s a year, 8 million shoes, etc, etc

Women constantly brag that they control the world, well why are we blaming the guy destroying the forest to supply cupcake with bubble bath oil. That’s like blaming the slave picking cotton.

Cupcake: Controller of the Nookie Faucet. Not obligated to stick around if she doesn’t want to.

You can have all the discussions you want, but Cupcake has the unalienable right to Change Her Mind, at any time, for any reason or none.

Social convention, the divorce courts, a tradition of chivalry, and Cupcake‘s control of the nookie faucet all conspire such that if you don’t meet her demands, as they change and evolve, you’re fucking toast, Jack.

Stay tuned for The Cupcake Files: Part Three.

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