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Six completely incorrect facts I learned about boobs on the internet

I’m pretty sure this is incorrect also

Straight cis guys have a lot of theories about female breasts, many of which they are happy to explain at length online, even without being asked. Unfortunately some of these theories are incorrect, sometimes wildly so. Here are six that don’t pass the truth test.

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6 myths about boobs that will scramble your brain because they are, like, so incredibly stupid

We’re all interested in boobs

So the other day we looked at some, well let’s charitably call them myths, about the human vagina. Today we’re going to look a matched pair of other cis female body parts that are the source of a lot of curiosity and confusion. I am referring, of course, to the boobies.

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“Turn that beaver frown upside down” with this advice from freelance vagina expert “Dr. Derek”

picture of a smiling beaver
Thanks, Dr. Derek!

When a guy begins his vagina advice with the phrase “listen ladies” you know you’re in for a treat. Well, feast your eyes on, and ruin your dinner with, this open letter to the (cis) ladies of the world from self-appointed vagina expert Derek. Sorry, Dr. Derek.

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I’m back from vaccine land and on an unrelated note here’s something weird about uteruses

Sorry to have vanished for a few days. I had my second COVID vaccine shot on Wednesday and it kind of messed me up for a couple of days. But in two weeks I will be INVINCIBLE. (I think that’s how these things work.)

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Misogynatomy Saturday: A NSFW gif that will baffle and terrify you

This is not the gif; it’s a different gif

Today in “That’s not how any of this works and also that’s not where the g-spot even is,” I present the following gif, which I found tucked away in the archives of the BadWomensAnatomy* subreddit.

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Women only love their children because they cum so hard during childbirth, internet weirdo proclaims

Babies: The ultimate Chads?

By David Futrelle

Today’s insight into (cis) female nature comes from, well, some internet rando with very peculiar notions about childbirth.

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Self-anointed vagina expert develops new theory of virginity, and it’s a doozy

Evidently most women and girls are only like virgins

By David Futrelle

Today’s Screencap of Wonderment comes to us from Reddit, I think, via the Bad Women’s Anatomy subreddit. In it, an inventive fellow tries to explain why, according to his calculations, virtually no “females” are actually virgins any more — even if they’ve never had sex.

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bad anatomy dude you've got no fucking idea what you're talking about Dunning–Kruger effect men who should not ever be with women ever misogynatomy misogyny

Women “just have some random itch or bowel movement” and think they had an orgasm, sex genius explains

Lady dog having an orgasm, possibly

By David Futrelle

Just a quick little post today to bring you this gem from the Bad Women’s Anatomy subreddit, in which some dude who’s either very inexperienced or simply very bad at sex explains that most women don’t really have orgasms, even if they think they do.

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“Female orgasm has no evolutionary function” and other insights from some dude who’s very bad at sex

Photographic proof that only men can have orgasms

By David Futrelle

Look, everyone, it’s yet another dude who thinks that female orgasms are a myth.

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Does this snake’s mouth that looks like a vulva mean that women are sneaky snaky deceivers?

Eve and the Grapefruit of Temptation

By David Futrelle

So here’s a strange little screenshot that’s made the rounds online offering, well, a rather curious interpretation of the story of Adan and Eve and that sneaky, sneaky snake.