Category: I’m totally being sarcastic

CRUSH MR. RIGHT: Is this Google’s gynocentric Valentine’s Day message?

Post author By David Futrelle
Post date February 14, 2014
294 Comments on CRUSH MR. RIGHT: Is this Google’s gynocentric Valentine’s Day message?

Happy Valentine’s Day, gynocrats!.

Over on A Voice for Male Students, the always-reasonable and never-hysterical Jonathan Taylor celebrates this day of candies and flowers and irritating Kay Jewelry commercials with a lovely little piece entitled “The gynocentrism of Valentine’s Day, and the spoiled princess mentality.”

In it, he takes aim at a holiday he sees as rewarding the sort of woman who behaves like a “privileged princess who didn’t get her pony when she was five.”

His proof of this “gynocentrism?” The custom graphics on Google’s home page today, which I have screencapped and pasted in above.

At first glance, this all seems very innocent. We all remember these adorably crappy candies with the little messages on them. But Taylor is able to discern its insidious deeper meaning in their words:

The inclusion of the “Mr. Right” heart may seem like a small thing, but it is also rather telling, especially coming from the #1 website in the world. Women have expectations and standards. Where are men’s expectations and standards?

We aren’t told about them. Unlike “Mr. Right,” the phrase “Ms. Right” isn’t used in common parlance. The very incidence of men having standards for women is often regarded as sexist, even if they are entirely reasonable – such as not being so fat that you are diabetic by the time you are 35 and bedridden by the time you are 55.

In the age of Feminism, the only people women “answer to” are themselves.

Now that I’ve taken a closer look at Google’s message, I think that Mr. Taylor is if anything understating its creepy gynocentric intent. Take a look again at the first two candies.

CRUSH MR. RIGHT

Clearly this is an invitation to murder. Nay, to MAN GENOCIDE.

FIRST KISS 4EVER YOURS

… because if he is dead, your first kiss will make him — or at least his corpse — forever yours.

PUPPY LOVE

Of course if he is dead, he will not be able to fulfill his normal sexual functions. So Google seems to be recommending bestiality.

BLIND DATE

And then, to cover up your crimes, it suggests that you blind all of your future dates so they can’t see the corpse you’ve got stashed in the spare bedroom. (You may also need to do something about their sense of smell.)

Has the true ugliness of this gynocentric holiday ever been more nakedly displayed?

—

Just in case anyone missed it, this post is almost entirely made up of

SARCASM

… except for the bit about Kay Jewelry ads, which really are irritating.

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Evo Psych Sunday: “Women have an amorality similar to lower evolved animals that steal.”

Post author By David Futrelle
Post date February 2, 2014
292 Comments on Evo Psych Sunday: “Women have an amorality similar to lower evolved animals that steal.”

So over on MGTOWforums — the festering hive of misogyny that is the internet’s largest forum for so-called Men Going Their Own Way — one of the regulars was so impressed with the Evo-Psychy insights of a YouTube commenter by the name of Moe that he decided to share them with the gang there. And I have decided to share them with you.

Brace yourself, though, because Moe is bringing some hardcore SCIENCE to the topics of feminism being awful and why women are such terrible selfish child-murdering monsters.

Moe starts off with some MGTOW basics:

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The “Tell Her Her Soul Is Dog Sh*t” dude declares that I’m a “misogyny pimp.”

Post author By David Futrelle
Post date January 31, 2014
315 Comments on The “Tell Her Her Soul Is Dog Sh*t” dude declares that I’m a “misogyny pimp.”

If Jason Gregory were this adorable kitty, it would be hard to stay mad at him

Hey, everybody!

So you remember that post a couple of days ago, that one in which I quoted Jason Gregory’s most peculiar dating advice for angry men? You know, the one in which he suggested that men rebuff women who are interested in them with a long and rather nasty assortment of misogynistic insults? You know, like these:

Tell her that she isn’t interesting, that her soul is dog-shit and that she has nothing to offer other than boobs and booty, that she is a piece of shit and a total failure as a human being, that you don’t find her attractive and that she isn’t even good enough to be a cum-bucket.

And he went on like that for several more sentences. You can read the whole quote in my original piece, or in his original post on A Voice for Men.

Well, it turns out I totally misinterpreted Jason Gregory’s post, according to an unbiased and neutral outside observer named Jason Gregory, no relation to the original Jason Gregory, who’s written a post about it on his blog.

Hold on, I’m being told that this second Jason Gregory is in fact also the first Jason Gregory.

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Tell Her That Her Soul Is Dog-Sh*t: Dating advice from A Voice for Men

Post author By David Futrelle
Post date January 28, 2014
556 Comments on Tell Her That Her Soul Is Dog-Sh*t: Dating advice from A Voice for Men

Note: Method described in following post will not have this effect

The Man Boobz Pledge Drive continues! If you haven’t already, please consider clicking the little button below and sending some bucks my way.

Thanks! (And thanks again to all who’ve already donated.) Now back to our regularly scheduled programming:

So over on A Voice for Men, young Jason Gregory seems faintly jealous that young women who put up dating profiles online tend to get flooded with messages — and the occasional dick pic — from horny guys.

F]ree cock is everywhere. Men give it away like it’s worthless. … I doubt that it is unusual at all for a woman to get 300 messages in her inbox from men who are desperate for female affection, approval, and sex. There is no doubt in my mind that men send “dick-pics” and clamor, bother, and sometimes harass women for their affections and attentions.

But Jason feels no sympathy for young women who put up profiles hoping to meet some nice young fellow who’s also into Sherlock and Neil Gaiman and Indian food and instead get messages from guys who introduce themselves by expressing a desire to ejaculate in their hair.

No, Jason is angry because he’s convinced all these offers of “free cock” only serve to make the women of the world into snooty-stuck stuck-up so-and-sos who think they’re all that and a folder full of dick pics.

All you men who give it away, all you do is reinforce the entitlement mentality of women who believe that their being present is plenty. You reinforce the idea that women don’t owe anything to the relationship—that they deserve a free-ride of cocks and that they don’t even have to break a sweat.

Jason, I should add, means this last bit literally. He’s resentful that when he allegedly engages in the act of coitus he has to do all the work while his alleged partners allegedly lie there like inflatable love-dolls.

Anyhoo,.Jason has a plan to take these stuck-up ladies down a peg or two: A cock strike.

Yep, he wants men to start saying “no” to women who are interested in them, just to see how they like it. But he doesn’t want them to just say no. He wants them to be giant dicks about it.

Try telling a girl no. Tell her, after she makes it clear that she wants your cock, that you’re not interested in giving it to her. Tell her that she isn’t interesting, that her soul is dog-shit and that she has nothing to offer other than boobs and booty, that she is a piece of shit and a total failure as a human being, that you don’t find her attractive and that she isn’t even good enough to be a cum-bucket. Tell her that she is never going to be any good at sucking cock and that she needs to stop pretending that she is doing any favors and learn to compensate for her inadequacies by becoming “kinky.” Tell her that her vapid life of shoes and pop-culture and materialism are soulless pursuits of dog-shit. Watch what happens. If you Jez-ladies wanna know what “hostile” means, see this rejected woman.

Emphasis mine.

A Voice for Men, you may recall, sees itself as leading the most important civil rights movement of the 21st century. I am sure Jason Gregory’s post here will be remembered alongside Martin Luther King’s Letter from a Birmingham Jail as a classic in civil rights literature.

EDIT: I added a couple more “allegedlys” to a sentence I thought needed them.

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How slut-shaming transforms dirty cheeseburgers into sex gold

Post author By David Futrelle
Post date November 27, 2013
233 Comments on How slut-shaming transforms dirty cheeseburgers into sex gold

One sexy cheeseburger

Longtime readers of Man Boobz will have noticed that most of the pickup artists and “game” gurus I write about here are also vociferous slut-shamers.

This might seem a little odd and, well, counterproductive, in that you might expect that men who enjoy having no-strings-attached sex with a large number of women would in fact be kindly disposed towards women who enjoy having no-strings-attached sex with a large number of men.

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How not to get banned from the Men’s Rights subreddit

Post author By David Futrelle
Post date November 17, 2013
134 Comments on How not to get banned from the Men’s Rights subreddit

banad

Let’s say you wake up one morning and you decide, for some reason, that you’d like to make it your goal for the day to get yourself banned from the Men’s Rights subreddit.

If you’re a feminist, it’s not hard. I managed to get myself banned there some time ago and all I had to do was … well, I’m not exactly sure what it was I did. Actually, I’m pretty sure I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary, Reddit-wise, other than argue with the regulars there. It’s possible I may have engaged in some light sarcasm. So maybe try that.

If, on the other hand, you hate women, all you have to do is … well, again, I’m not sure. Because earlier today, as one friend of Man Boobz pointed out on the Against Men’s Rights subreddit, a dislikeable fellow who calls himself sciencegod posted an elaborate, graphic torture fantasy to the Men’s Rights subreddit. I’m posting it below as a thumbnail; click to see it full size, but TRIGGER WARNING because it’s very graphic.

It got some downvotes, and the mods deleted the comment. But it didn’t occur to any of the mods, evidently, to actually ban this user from the Men’s Rights subreddit.

Because obviously anything he might ever have to say on the subject of Men’s Rights is much more worthwhile than anything I might ever have to say on the subject.

I asked the mods why they felt it necessary to ban me when they wouldn’t ban someone like sciencegod, and here’s the response I got back:

sillymod [M] via /r/MensRights/ sent 51 minutes ago We don't answer to you. You have zero influence through which to get a discussion out of us. Goodbye.
This is pretty much the answer I get whenever I ask them anything. I could ask them if they thought the sky was blue and they’d send me the same response and probably put something in the sidebar saying the sky was red.

Ironically, elsewhere in the Men’s Rights subreddit today I learned this:

nigglereddit 6 points 1 day ago (19|13) They don't actually think we hate women - if they did then they'd be happy for us to prove it every time we spoke in public. No, the problem is the opposite. They know we don't hate women. They know we're right. And the only way they can stop people from hearing and agreeing is to censor us.
Huh. Where on earth might I have gotten the impression that there are MRAs who hate women?

Oops. There’s that sarcasm again. When will I ever learn?

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Videos to get you PUMPED. Also, a creepshaming manifesto from the Men’s Rights subreddit.

Post author By David Futrelle
Post date November 1, 2013
173 Comments on Videos to get you PUMPED. Also, a creepshaming manifesto from the Men’s Rights subreddit.

Today I feel an irresistible urge to post music videos. Above, an awesome interpretation of a rock classic that is sure to get you PUMPED for the weekend.

Below, enjoy the silky voice of Phil Collins.

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Red Piller: “Training a loyal, well-behaved dog isn’t much different than training a loyal, well-behaved girlfriend/plate/FWB. “

How to totally score with the babes.

Over on the Red Pill Subreddit — where manly ALPHA MALES trade tips on how to totally dominate the ladies with their awesome ALPHATUDE — one enterprising fellow has a suggestion for aspiring lady-dominators: take a tip or two from professional dog trainers and treat your bitch like a bitch!

TRPsubmitter, an official Red Pill Subreddit Endorsed Contributor, explains how you can use the magic of Operant Conditioning to train your gal:

Training a loyal, well-behaved dog isn’t much different than training a loyal, well-behaved girlfriend/plate/FWB. Both substrates (dogs, women) have innate submissive/obedient tendencies that should be emphasized along with unwanted behaviors to be diminished and punished. If you know anything about dogs, you know that many “incidents” are often the fault of the owner failing to provide a proper outlet for a dog’s energy or natural predispositions.

Women have natural predispositions too: Attention-seeking, curious, emotional, irrational, solipsistic, unable to constructively deal with stress/criticism, likes to blame others, etc. Almost all of these can be subjected to a combination of operant conditioning.

Yeah, that pretty much describes all possible predispositions women might have. Because women are terrible!

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The Cartoon Artistry of Victor Zen, Men’s Human Rights Activist Human

Post author By David Futrelle
Post date August 28, 2013
190 Comments on The Cartoon Artistry of Victor Zen, Men’s Human Rights Activist Human

logicVictor

I think I have a new favorite MRA. Sorry, this one’s an MHRA, because he spends all his time hanging out on A Voice for Human Men. (Oh, it’s still just A Voice for Men? Then Why did they put that H for “Human” in that other acronym?)

Anyway, his name is Victor Zen. And according to Victor’s MHRA Resume — and yes he really does have one — he is quite an awesome MHRA, I mean, just consider these accomplishments:

AVFM Forum Moderator (4/7/2013-7/1/2013)

Enforced AVFM policy in the AVFM forums
Maintained unity in MHRA community
Encouraged peaceful online activism

I mean, it totally sounds like he was one kickass AVFM policy-enforcing, MHRA-unity-maintaining, peaceful online activism encouraging moderator for nearly three months!

If I were hiring any MHRAs, I would definitely put Victor Zen’s MHResume (see what I did there) at the top of the virtual pile.

Oh, but that’s not all! Since then, Victor has been doing a bang-up job as AVFM Backup System Administrator, which I assume means he system administrates the hell out of AVFM whenever it backs itself into a corner, which it sort of does pretty much all of the time. (I think. I’m not really up on these sorts of technical things.)

But that’s not the part of Victor’s MHResume I want to celebrate today. For if you scroll down to the bottom you will find a list of his real accomplishments:

First day as MHRA: December 5th, 2012
Posters designed: 8
Videos produced: 38
Cartoons drawn: 18
Articles written: 27
YT Subscribers: 120+

Woah, woah, what’s that about cartoons?

That’s right, he drew EIGHTEEN MOTHERFUCKING CARTOONS. Not eight. Not eighty. EIGHTEEN.

That cartoon at the top of this post. That’s just a taste of just ONE of these EIGHTEEN cartoons.

You can can see the loving craftmanship — sorry, craftsMANship — he brings to the task.

Let’s take a look at the rest of them, which have been helpfully posted for us in a bunch of AVFM forum threads and on his own site. Be prepared for some violence and maybe a teensy bit of hate, because the TRUTH IS NOT PRETTY. Also, neither is his terrible drawing style.

Also, one of the cartoons features a talking vagina.

Here you can see the ironic conclusion to the story started in the two frames above, as well as an assortment of other cartoons posted under the heading Victor.Zen On Absurdity via Inequality.

And here is Victor.Zen On the MHRA’s Enemy.

And Victor.Zen On the Screech of Feminism.

And wait there’s more!

Victor has posted some of his favorites on his own site as well. (He starts with the vagina one; apparently he’s quite proud of his passing familiarity with that sexual organ.)

He’s got posters, too.

As well as an explanation for why the word “mangina” is totally not misogynistic, just like a simple descriptive term with no misogynistic overtones that means a dude who’s, you know, a “philogynic misandrist.”

A Phil a who now?

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Men’s Rights Redditors outraged by poster suggesting that men teach boys “about gender equality and healthy, equal relationships.”

Gender equality is MISANDRY!

Apparently, to a lot of the regulars in the Men’s Rights subreddit — like the hundreds who upvoted a post of this picture — the notion that men should raise their sons to respect women as equals is nothing more than foul propaganda and MISANDRY of the highest order.

And seriously, those guys in the poster look like total White Knight Beta Manginas.

Some of the Men’s Rightsers were especially offended by the white ribbon at the bottom of the poster, which they saw as a vaguely sinister reminder of a World War I campaign to shame British men into enlisting in the army. Because suggesting to your sons that boys and girls should be treated equally is the same as being guilt-tripped into becoming cannon fodder:

TheOtherBono 54 points 1 day ago (80|26) White ribbons. Just like the white feathers handed to non-conscript men of the UK during WW1 by women to shame them into enlisting. How sweet [–]froggymorning 14 points 22 hours ago (23|9) What a subtle and effective slap. MRMRising [-2] 6 points 23 hours ago (12|6) ...and just as destructive.

Others used the poster as an opportunity to rail against … marriage. The top comment in the thread, as I write this post, is this one.

LAMFF 85 points 1 day ago (118|33) Boys, avoid marriage at all costs. There is nothing equitable about that relationship.

Elezeid expanded on this theme:

Elezeid 10 points 20 hours ago (13|3) Boys, if you have a child and don't stay with the mother, you will have all of the responsibilities and none of the rights. So heads up.

Caspian_Drifter responded to the eeeevil poster with a rhetorical question that unintentionally helped to underscore the whole point of the campaign in the first place:

casp

Seriously, ladies, why do gals like to go on and on about “equality” so much when your ladybrains weren’t even smart enough to come up with the idea in the first place? I mean, really, you ungrateful gals, you have a man/men to thank for that.

If I remember correctly, it was T. Reginald Equality who came up with the idea, with some help from his brother Ned (who suggested that he name it after himself).

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