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This NoFap parody of Johnny Cash’s cover of Hurt is possibly the worst song ever recorded

You make Johnny Cash sad

By David Futrelle

Yep, some NoFap dude did a NoFap version of Johnny Cash’s famous cover of Nine Inch Nails’ “Hurt,” with the lyrics changed to make a point about the evils of “cooming” while jerking off to porn. Just listen to this mess, if you can:

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“They think we need viagra to stay virulent [sic] while programming women to assume every man is a creep, which is part of their wet dream to roll out full communism,” galaxy-brained MGTOW explains

By David Futrelle

So I’m scrolling through the MGTOW subreddit, la dee da, and I stumble upon this amazing paragraph buried in a longer rant titled “WE don’t need THEM. THEY need US. NEVER forget THAT.”

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creepy cringe evil fat fatties evil old ladies men who should not ever be with women ever MGTOW misogyny NoFap reddit

“Women over 30 shouldn’t interest you unless you have an impure, sexually perverted mind,” declares man obsessed with his own semen

Hideous over-30 woman

By David Futrelle

Just like Men Going Their Own Way, who can’t stop talking about the women they’re ostensibly “going their own way” from, militant NoFappers can’t stop obsessing over the sexual appeal (or alleged lack thereof) of the women they’re definitely not masturbating over.

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Western incels furious they’re being denied a hologram waifu in a jar

No “Japanese jailbait holo gitls” for you, incels, unless you speak their language

By David Futrelle

Several years ago, I wrote about a holographic “virtual companion” that seemed designed to fulfill the romantic fetishes of every anime-obsessed incel. “Azuma,” as she was known, was basically a tiny, chatty waifu encased in a jar she could never escape from — seemingly a Black Mirror episode waiting to happen.

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Return of the Son of the Dudes Who Don’t Wipe Their Asses Because They Think it’s Gay

Ewwwww

By David Futrelle

We’ve met them before, these mysterious and stinky straight men, who refuse to wipe or wash their asses because they’re afraid that doing so is somehow gay.

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Sunday Evening Bad Tweet Attack

The bad tweets are relentless!

By David Futrelle

I regret to inform you that the bad tweeters are at it again. Here, an assortment of very bad takes, from some familiar names and a few up-and-comers.

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alt-lite alt-right creepy cringe doubling down entitled babies men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA semen Stefan Molyneux

Stefan Molyneux grossed us all out with his comments on Taylor Swift’s eggs. But he’s been obsessed with ovulation for a long time.

The Eggman

By David Futrelle

Yesterday afternoon, the Alt-Rightish YouTube “philosopher” Stefan Molyneux decided that the world needed to hear his thoughts on Taylor Swift’s eggs. Not her egg salad recipe (if she has one) or her favorite way to prepare an omelette. Her eggs eggs. The ones inside her body.

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cringe cuck cuckolding entitled babies irony alert men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny none dare call it conspiracy racism sexual insecurity

Black athletes are turning white men into a cucked “third sex” by being better at sports, weirdo racist football fan argues

By David Futrelle

Caste Football is an online forum devoted to the premise that white athletes (sorry, White athletes) are terribly discriminated against in professional sports. According to the site’s posting guidelines:

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“Female orgasm has no evolutionary function” and other insights from some dude who’s very bad at sex

Photographic proof that only men can have orgasms

By David Futrelle

Look, everyone, it’s yet another dude who thinks that female orgasms are a myth.

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alt-right anti-Semitism antifeminism crackpottery cringe Dunning–Kruger effect empathy deficit entitled babies evil sexy ladies immigrants irony alert makeup is a lie men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA not a cult oppressed white men pedophiles oh sorry ephebophiles racism sexual harassment Stefan Molyneux

Stefan Molyneux says his YouTube career is in a “death spiral.” I may bust out crying.

Stefan has had a “brutal year”

By David Futrelle

Stefan Molyneux is having a bad time. In a recent YouTube video, the white nationalist philosopher-impersonator chronicles what he calls his “brutal year,” with YouTube views dropping precipitously — due, he says, to alleged unspecified YouTube machinations against him —and his other moneymaking attempts failing. He throws himself on the mercy of his 929,000 YouTube supporters, begging for donations and promising half-seriously to write a new book on whatever subject they collectively demand.