Author: David Futrelle

Categories
evil women funny I'm totally being sarcastic sexy robot ladies Uncategorized

>Inflatable women: As dangerous as real ones?

>

Beautiful, but deadly.

Be careful out there, fellas, as you make your way in the brave new post-woman world. Sure, it goes without saying that sexy robot ladies will soon replace real women, and obviously that’s great news for all of us, except perhaps for human females, who don’t really count anyway. But approach with caution; some sex toys artificial female companions can be downright dangerous. Case in point: A recent news story on FoxNews.com from Australia which suggests that inflatable women can be as treacherous as real ones.

A bizarre decision to ride an inflatable doll down a flood-swollen Yarra River in Australia blew up in a woman’s face yesterday when she lost her latex playmate in a rough patch.

The incident prompted a warning from police that blow-up sex toys are “not recognized flotation devices’’.

Police and a State Emergency Services crew were called to the rescue when the woman and a man, both 19, struck trouble at Warrandyte North about 4.30 p.m. Tuesday.

They were floating down the river on two inflatable dolls and had just passed the Pound Bend Tunnel when the woman lost her toy in turbulent water.

She clung to a floating tree, calling for help while the man stayed with her. Fortunately for the pair, a passer-by called triple zero while while a kayaker took life jackets to the pair. Police and the SES crew hauled the water-logged thrillseekers to safety.

Clearly, this is a case of attempted murder. No doubt the young man was the real intended target.

The most ominous part of the report. The final paragraph:

“The fate of the inflatable dolls is unknown,” said Senior Constable Wilson.

In other words, the dolls are still out there, biding their time, just waiting for another opportunity to wreak their vengeance on the human world!

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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.

Categories
feminism ghosts

>How feminism accidentally liberates teh menz!

>

Charles Atlas is sick of this shit.

It seems I have been suffering from a misapprehension. I have been assuming that pretty much every single last guy in the Men Going Their Own Way crowd just hates, hates HATES feminism. But apparently I am wrong, and some of them — well, at least one of them — really loves, loves LOVES it. That guy calls himself womanhater, and he recently posted about his deep appreciation for feminism on the MGTOW proboards forum.

Brace yourself, because there are a few gigantic logical zigs and zags coming here.

Womanhater starts off his post with a bold, contrarian statement:

We ghosters have been falsely accused of hating feminism. Nothing could be further from the truth! In fact, feminism has been the greatest liberation of men since the end of feudalism.

Whaaaaaa!? How so, womanhater?

In the past, men obtained employment and pursued a career. This involved soul crushing conformity, precious hours of our lives spent in inhuman working conditions supporting unconscionable corporate interests while paying confiscatory taxes. We were denied sex by fat shrews who had duped us into marrying them with no hope of escape, and we were nagged incessantly by those same diabolical beasts with whom we had to share living quarters.

Soul-crushing conformity! No-sex-having shrews! Sounds like this situation was truly teh suck. So what changed?

Then, it all began to change. The women who had dominated our deeply empty consumerist lives declared us to be the enemy, abandoned their traditional domain of the home, outsourced the raising of children, and began to compete with us for jobs thereby lowering our economic value.

That also sounds like teh suck. But no! in fact, womanhater explains, 

The man-haters like Steinem and Friedan and Dworkin had in fact done us an enormous favor!

We were freed from OUR bondage to the home. We no longer had to work for money solely to provide a home. We no longer had to tolerate nagging cunts who extorted us by manipulating our sexual desire. We were FREE!

Sounds great! Let’s round up some hot chicks and have a party!

Oh, wait.

Womanhater continues:

Women have criminalized our showing interest in them and in attempting to engage them sexually. Good! Now we are free to avoid them. They have repeatedly told us how useless we are, and how we are wrong. Fine. They can have the university educations and get the bullshit managerial jobs where they oppress the men who actually do the work. So much the better! They can live in their little townhomes and tend their cats all alone freed from men. And we are now free from having to work in soul crushing corporate environments in order to placate the bitch at home.

All us dudes need to do to take advantage of our new freedom is to deliberately take shit jobs and completely ignore all women.

We can now live off the grid – intentionally avoiding working with or for women. We can make enough money to live frugally and happily on our own, while intentionally earning too little to pay taxes.

Aw yeah! And don’t assume just because we take shit jobs that we aren’t really the bestest guys in the fucking universe, much better than mere women.

Among our ranks you will find men with the intellect to be engineers and physicians who instead flip burgers and park cars. You will find men with the physical strength and courage and wits to be military leaders and ferocious warriors – who instead of risking their lives for the benefit of a state that hates them, now paint houses or mow lawns. We men have found that we are infinitely more happy alone in a studio apartment or living communally with other men for very little money, than we were killing ourselves to provide a bullshit Brady Bunch lifestyle in the suburbs for the greedy twat.

But, gosh, what will happen to society once all these magnificent dudes take their marbles and go home?

Women and their conspirators in the halls of power will soon find out … When men are no longer willing to work at the level needed to finance the social programs that favor women, what will happen? When men are no longer willing to enlist in the military to become amputees for the benefit of a state that despises them and to make the world safe for corporate looting, what will happen? When men simply fade away, own nothing, contribute nothing, and merely watch smiling as the world burns, what will happen?
My brothers, we are soon to find out!

OMFG! It’s almost as though — bear with me for a moment here while I work out this metaphor. It’s almost as though these dudes are like Atlas — not Charles Atlas, silly, you know, that Greek dude — holding up the world, and then all of a sudden they say “screw you guys, I’m going home.” And then everyone is like, oh noe! What’s going to happen to the world! And then the dudes are all like, *shrug.* Not my problem! C-ya, suckers!

That is such a perfect metaphor. Much better than anything some dumb bitch could come up with. You guys are totally free to use it if you like.

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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.

Categories
evil women I'm totally being sarcastic manginas men who should not ever be with women ever MGTOW Uncategorized

>The ugly diva crisis … solved!

>

She’s out of your league, pal!

You may recall a little ditty from days gone by called “If you wanna be happy.” The song, the one hit of one-hit-wonder Jimmy Soul, was a song with a message for men in love. That message? Well, if my mere mentioning of the song hasn’t already gotten it stuck in your head, let me remind you of its basic thesis:

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

Why is this? Well, put simply, pretty women are entitled bitches who will ruin your life and break your heart, while ugly women will be so grateful for your attention that they’ll treat you well and prepare meals in a timely fashion:

A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall
As soon as he married her and then she starts
To do the things that will break his heart

But if you make an ugly woman your wife
A-you’ll be happy for the rest of your life
An ug-a-ly woman cooks meals on time
And she’ll always give you peace of mind

By “piece of mind,” I believe Mr. Soul is referring to “blowjobs.”

But, alas, this simple formula for male happiness has been rendered ineffective. And it’s all the fault of evil manginas. A fellow called Lincoln, posting on NiceGuy’s MGTOW forum, reports that these dastardly woman-worshipping half-men have upset the old order by actively pursuing ugly women and making them think they’re all that. The horror! All this mangina attention has given

even the most ugliest man faced mountain beasts [an] overinflated sense of their own self-importance, and the net result is the most repulsive, vile, and ill-tempered skanks you could ever meet. Even now I can’t understand it, I can’t even look at these women much less want to bang them, but there it is. It’s already a given that the really attractive ones will of course behave the same way, but if even the ugliest ones behave like prima donnas, who’s left?

It seems an unsolvable dilemma. But Lincoln believes he’s found a way out: amputees.

The ideal is to find a beautiful woman that no mangina wants. it’s possible, but they usually have some kind of trait that puts men off for sometimes the fucking stupidest reason. One example was this one armed woman I knew of once. She had lost her arm in a car accident, and she was the sweetest, most kindest girl you could have met, but for some reason guys weren’t lining up the door for her. Stupid. If I ran across her again I wouldn’t hesitate to ask her out.

Love will always find a way.

If you now need to get “If you wanna be happy” out of your head, this ought to do it:

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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.

Categories
creepy I'm totally being sarcastic sex sexy robot ladies Uncategorized

>Roxxxy and the Sexbotapocalypse

>

Roxxxy puts the moves on some dude.

In a recent post, we learned that flesh-and-blood women only have about ten years left before they are made obsolete by sexy lady robots. Just so you ladies know what you’re up against, here are some videos showing what state-of-the art sexy lady robots can do already. As you can see, Roxxxy here, a sexbot from True Companion LLC, can turn her head like Linda Blair in the Exorcist and mechanically banter with non-robot men using a variety of canned phrases that sound a lot like what a perpetually dateless non-robot man might imagine a sexy lady would say if ever one deigned to speak to him. And, as you can see in the second video, she can wiggle seductively. So you non-robotic gals better step up your game, and fast, if you want to survive the sexbotapocalypse.

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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.

Categories
evil women men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny vaginas western women suck

>A different kind of flapper

>

Not the kind of flapper we’re talking about.

So I’m over at the Boycott American Women blog, reading a post by someone describing himself as an “angry black American man.” It starts off clearly enough (“There is WAY TOO many of the MISS THANG type type in america”), and continues on to make a fairly standard argument to the effect that American women are stuck-up narcissists who will end up “alone an bitter.” (To be fair, that description applies to a lot of us guys as well.)

But it’s the grand conclusion that leaves me a little baffled:

its a growing trend among the women to act like tryant like cunt flaps.

Uh, what flaps?

I wondered if this was some sort of slang I hadn’t heard about. But Urban Dictionary seems to confirm that the term “cunt flaps” does indeed mean, er, what it seems to mean, i.e., labia that hang down like flaps.

So what does it mean to say that women are acting “like tryant like cunt flaps.”

Is there a typo here, a word missing, or what? I assume that by “tryant” he actually means “tyrant,” but that’s really the least of our problems here.

Did he mean that women are acting like tyrants, and that they are also acting like cunt flaps? (Which raises the question: How exactly does one act like cunt flaps?)

Did he mean that women are acting as though tyrants like cunt flaps? (Which raises the question: is there something about ruling a country with an iron fist that leads one to be drawn to larger-than-average labia?)

Or maybe I’m totally wrong about the “tyrant” thing. Maybe he’s saying that women are trying to act like cunt flaps. (Which, again, huh?)

I remain baffled.

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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.

Categories
Uncategorized

>Ten years, ladies. Then the sexy lady robots will make you obsolete.

>

Ladies: Here is your nemesis.

Too much bad news on this blog of late. So today I bring you some truly good news for modern man. Not so much for the ladies, though. Apparently you gals are on the verge of becoming obsolete.

Or so says the fellow calling himself PatRiarchy — clever! — one of the unwitting contestants in Feministe’s Next Top Troll contest. Yep, flesh-and-blood ladies, watch out, because sexy lady robots are on the way:

Soon we men will no longer have any need of you at all and females will die out. By 2020 there will be the first full functioning android released onto the market. To be politically correct it will be a female. But economically it will be female becasue men would be prepared to pay a once off cost for never having to compromise and she would never take his kids. She can look like any female he wants and to his exact specifications. She will have great physical strength. Every piece of information ever recorded in human history at her fingertips. Including the Karma Sutra.

Yep, the Karma Sutra. It’s a lot like the Kama Sutra, except once you master the Reverse-double-cowgirl-butterfly position you transcend the realm of suffering and escape the cycle of rebirth.

Back to the sexy robot ladies:

She will be better than any natural Western female on Earth. She will be supportive of everything he does. And the cost to keep her is significantly less than any Western female. So as time goes on the investment becomes amortised.

Amortized, bitches! Fucking A. Mort. Ized!

Ok, some of you human ladies must be thinking, will your ability to pop out babies keep you from being consigned to the scrapheap of history? That would be a big no.

Soon we will be able to create and grow perfect male humans in vitro without ever having to worry about what harmful things a mother may ingest.

So there.

The weak perish and you have allowed yourselves to become weak by claiming to be victims and thus claiming privileges whilst never having to be reponsible for your actions. … When there’s no more mooching off men your fortunes will rapidly change and you will disappear. We’ve carried you for 3.5 MILLION years. Image what we can achieve with all the resouces that are saved from not having to support females. It’s a BRAVE new world dawning girlies and unless you grow up fast and stop whining and get doing you will fail.

Here’s an actual photograph of what it was like 3.5 million years ago. As you can see, the Australopithecus dude is doing all the work while the gal, who’s not even all that pretty, is dancing around like an idiot.

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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.

Categories
incel Jared Loughner men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny rape rapey sluts Uncategorized violence against men/women

>The Giffords shooting: Misogyny has consequences

>

Reason #1538 it’s not such a good idea to spend time online nursing your resentments towards the opposite sex because no one from that sex seems to want to have sex with you: Because that kind of, sort of, makes you a little bit like Jared Loughner.

The Wall Street Journal managed to track down what are apparently some comments Loughner made on a gaming site; they’re full of his usual conspiratorial nonsense (his lunatic theories on grammar and currency) but they’re also, as the Journal notes, “peppered with displays of misogyny.” One posting

titled “Why Rape,” … said women in college enjoyed being raped. “There are Rape victims that are under the influence of a substance. The drinking is leading them to rape. The loneliness will bring you to depression. Being alone for a very long time will inevitably lead you to rape.”

This is the dark side of the “incel” mindset. (That is, those who turn their “involuntarily celibate” state into an identity.)

Another time, the Journal reports, Loughner

started a thread titled “Talk, Talk, Talking about Rejection.” He solicited stories of rejection by the opposite sex. The next day he wrote, “Its funny…when..they say lets go on a date about 3 times..and they dont….go…” Three days later, he wrote, “Its funny when your 60 wondering……what happen at 21.”

There is other evidence that Loughner nursed anger towards and hatred of women and authority figures: he apparently scrawled the phrases “die bitch” and “die cops” on a letter he’d gotten from congresswoman Giffords.

As Amanda Marcotte points out, there are a lot of people out there who’ve responded with anger at the very notion “that misogyny might play a role in the choice of a young man to shoot a powerful woman in the head … .”

But the fact is that misogyny has consequences, and one of its most common and most predictable consequences is violence towards women. Misogyny plays a role, as Marcotte notes, even when the perpetrator of this violence is “crazy.”

What I’m seeing here is that Loughner, mental illness or no, completely absorbed society’s teachings about male entitlement and female sinfulness, that men have a right to have needs filled at women’s expense, and that women give up their rights to bodily autonomy if they do things deemed unladylike, like have sex or drink alcohol.

And just as those who spew hateful political rhetoric — filled with talk of guns and targets and “second amendment solutions” to political “problems” — shouldn’t be surprised when someone takes that rhetoric seriously, so those who spew misogyny online shouldn’t be surprised when someone acts on that misogyny and attacks a woman. As Marcotte puts it,

just because someone has a mental illness rarely means that he’s completely unaware of the world around him.  Loughner’s ability with a gun or his thoughts on rape didn’t spring fully formed from his brain, but are the product of an individual interacting with a specific environment.

Those who contribute to that toxic environment — whether they’re Sarah Palin talking about “reloading” or some random woman-hater talking gleefully online about bashing “bitches” — share in the responsibility when someone pulls a gun and shoots down a female politician he’s convinced himself is a “bitch.” 

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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.

Categories
kitties pics

>Kitten break

>

Too many depressing posts in a row. So here’s a kitten:
Categories
douchebaggery misogyny MRA violence against men/women

>How to get upvoted in MensRights on Reddit

>So a restaurant owner in Hamilton, Ontario decided to delight his male patrons by installing a urinal shaped like a woman’s mouth with bright pink lips.

The urinal sparked a protest from a feminist organization, and after receiving more than 1000 letters on the subject, the restaurant owner removed the urinal.

The regulars in MensRights on Reddit heard about the incident, and the following conversation took place. You may want to note the numbers of upvotes and downvotes each comment got.

(Yes, the last guy did use the obnoxious term “retard.” There is some irony there. Somehow I suspect that is not why he was downvoted.)
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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.

Categories
comments policy violence against men/women

>Comments policy: Cool it

>Folks, some of you need to cool it with the gratuitously nasty personal attacks in your comments. I’ve been cutting some people slack because they are new to the comments here, and because I like to practice relatively hands-off moderation, but I will start deleting comments if this continues, and repeated violators will be banned entirely. Regardless of which side of the debate you’re on. If you haven’t already, read the comments policy.

Also not ok: Justifying violence against men or women. For example, this recent comment from witman suggesting it might be “patriotic” to shoot feminist elected officials. (I’ve screencapped it because I will be deleting it, but for now you can go see it for yourself to confirm I’m not making it up.)