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Just another lazy Saturday on the Semen Retention subreddit

By David Futrelle Fellow penis-havers and potential semen retainers! The resaon you find it so difficult to refrain from cranking your hog is *checks notes* WITCHES!

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The Semen Retention subreddit is leaking (and not how you think)

By David Futrelle A cryptocurrency guru who calls himself Crypto de Medici is celebrating the start of #NoNutNovember by bringing the gospel of Semen Retention to his nearly 90 thousand Twitter followers.

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“As a man, you hold the seed of creation within your ballsack,” and other reflections on semen retention from some mystical weirdo on Reddit

By David Futrelle Hardcore semen retainers — yes, I’m back to talking about them again — believe that by refraining from masturbation they can bless themselves with certain magical superpowers, most notably the power of attraction.

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Today I Learned: I’m an agent of the Globalist Media elite personally tasked with destroying the Semen Retention subreddit

By David Futrelle For the past few months I’ve been mildly obsessed with the Semen Retention subreddit, a sort of harder-core alternative to the bigger NoFap subreddit, full of earnest men convinced that if they can just keep their hands off their dingles for a long enough time they’ll gain quasi-magical powers and become irresistibly…

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‘Cause every girl crazy ’bout a semen-filled man: Alleged true tales from the Semen Retention subreddit

By David Futrelle The Semen Retention subreddit is a weird place to visit, filled both with arcane manifestos on the spiritual awakenings that supposedly come from never having orgasms, ever, and enthusiastic testimonials from sperm-filled dudes convinced that their onanistic disipline has caused all the women in their immediate vicinity to lust for them like…

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Creepy Nazi NoFapper: The Jews “fear men who practice semen retention”

By David Futrelle The other day I introduced you to DiceRollah, a Man Going His Own Way who is also a hardcore semen-retainer who thinks that giving up masturbation and sex will thwart the evil womens out there trying to steal his “life force” and prevent him from being the sort of awesome dude who,…

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Jews eschew masturbation because they want to rule the world, antisemitic Semen Retainers allege

By David Futrelle We’ve watched as the more misogynistic offshoot of the Men’s Rights movements known as MGTOW has gotten more Nazified over the last several years — more friendly to alt-right memes, more open to Nazi ideology. Given that the Men Going Their Own Way is rooted in the hatred of women, it’s not surprising to…

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“Women over 30 shouldn’t interest you unless you have an impure, sexually perverted mind,” declares man obsessed with his own semen

By David Futrelle Just like Men Going Their Own Way, who can’t stop talking about the women they’re ostensibly “going their own way” from, militant NoFappers can’t stop obsessing over the sexual appeal (or alleged lack thereof) of the women they’re definitely not masturbating over.

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Women are only attracted to men who retain their semen, man who retains his semen declares

It’s PLEDGE DRIVE time again! If you’re a fan of this blog, please help fund its continued existence by clicking the button below. THANKS! By David Futrelle It’s nearly Christmas, and so I’ve decided to give myself an early present by giving in to my strange fascination with the Semen Retention subreddit, again.

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NoFap Fascism: Semen-retaining Redditor wants government of, by, and for the semen retainers

By David Futrelle These days, fascism rears its ugly little head in the strangest of places. And there are few places stranger than the home of my favorite Reddit subculture — the Semen Retention subreddit, where men go to talk about their hobby of not ejaculating ever because this gives them magical powers or some…