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“When you have sex with a porn video, you are uniting with a demon,” and other insights from the Christian NoFap subreddit

In the secular NoFap movement, participants talk all the time about fighting their demons — pornography and masturbation — but they’re only speaking figuratively when it comes to the demon bit.

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White knight scientists refuse to study semen retention because they know it gives men power over women, Reddit NoFapper argues

Men who retain their semen think that the practice gives them almost magical powers — increased energy, concentration, and charisma, to name just a few of the things these guys think they get from simply not jerking off for a month or two. The Semen Retention subreddit is filled with testimonies from guys claiming that…

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Reddit NoFappers explain why women are like bees

So the guys over in the Semen Retention subreddit — a more hardcore spinoff of the larger NoFap subreddit — are discussing the mysteries of female nature, as weirdo misogynists are wont to do. Specifically, the guys are trying to explain to one another why men often seem socially awkward, while women seem like naturals…

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Full Balls and Fat Bottomed Girls: Reddit NoFapper explains why women “need to be leaded by men”

By David Futrelle As something of a connoisseur of misogyny, I’m drawn to the Semen Retention subreddit by its unique mixture of woman-hating and penis-centric woo. While the woo is blatant and ridiculous — the men there think that retaining their sacred seed will give them magical powers and make them irresistible to women and other…

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Just a little coronavirus conspiracy theory, courtesy of a possibly really stoned NoFapper

By David Futrelle I‘ll do a real post tomorrow but in the meantime here’s an intriguing conspiracy theory I found in the NoFap subreddit.

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This NoFap parody of Johnny Cash’s cover of Hurt is possibly the worst song ever recorded

By David Futrelle Yep, some NoFap dude did a NoFap version of Johnny Cash’s famous cover of Nine Inch Nails’ “Hurt,” with the lyrics changed to make a point about the evils of “cooming” while jerking off to porn. Just listen to this mess, if you can:

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Reddit NoFapper takes LSD, convinces himself that all his lusty thoughts are the fault of a sex demon

By David Futrelle So I took a little stroll through the Semen Retention subreddit again today, and there were demons afoot. Or at least inside the brain of one of the gentlemen there.

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No-nut November NoFappers Need to Know: Am I not-nutting correctly in the eyes of God?

By David Futrelle As No-Nut November nears its climax, one reactionary Catholic tweeter is asking those who’ve given up nutting to porn whether or not their intentions are pure.

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Women are sexual vampires who want to steal your energies (and your sperm), Reddit NoFapper warns his fellow non-wankers

By David Futrelle The Semen Retention subreddit is a place of magic and wonder. That is, many of its inhabitants believe that the simple non-activity of not masturbating for an extended length of time gives them literal magic power. As for the wonder, well, I wonder just what it is they’re smoking.

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NoFap Fascism: Semen-retaining Redditor wants government of, by, and for the semen retainers

By David Futrelle These days, fascism rears its ugly little head in the strangest of places. And there are few places stranger than the home of my favorite Reddit subculture — the Semen Retention subreddit, where men go to talk about their hobby of not ejaculating ever because this gives them magical powers or some…