It’s pledge drive week here on WHTM. The survival of this blog depends on people like you! So please donate what you can!
Incels have something of a love-hate relationship with porn. They love it, because they think it’s the closest they’ll ever get to having sex. And they hate it … because they think it’s the closest they’ll ever get to having sex.
So naturally, they have theories about porn. Some think it’s all a plot to “cuck” porn-watchers, to turn them into spectators watching Chads have sex with the Stacies they’ll never have sex with themselves. Others think it’s a plot to turn porn fans into degenerates by exposing them to weird fetishes.
And still others think that porn–straight porn, featuring men having sex with women–is part of a Jewish plot to turn men gay, or at least bisexual, by exposing them to a lot of dicks.
“To me regular ‘straight’ [p]orn is bisexual porn,” said one prolific Incels.is commenter called Waco in a recent thread. “i might be going schizo on this but i think this is a plot by (((them))) to turn millions of men gay.”
In a more recent Incels.is thread, a commenter called Mortis offered what he saw as scientific proof that porn turns straight men into bisexuals. His primary evidence? A four-year-old survey undertaken by porn site xHamster that found “a direct correlation between the amount of time a person spends watching porn, and whether or not they identified as bisexual.” Indeed, as Alex Hawkins of xHamster noted in a blog post introducing the survey results, “Porn fans who watched multiple times a day were more than twice as likely to identify as bisexual as porn fans who watched only once a week (27% vs 13%).”
Of course, as Hawkins himself pointed out, correlation doesn’t necessarily mean causation. But Mortis ignored this caveat, arguing that
two things usually happen to the person who watches porn regularly
1) That person experiences pleasant feelings: The chemicals released while watching porn usually results in pleasant feelings. See how harmful is Porn addiction
2) That person sees naked images of both sexes: The person who watches porn usually comes across naked images of both sexes
And if you’re regularly feeling pleasant while looking at guys with huge porn dicks fucking women, maybe you’ll get to the point where you don’t need any women involved to feel pleasant. Hey presto! You’re at least bi.
Some of the commenters explained that this could never happen to them because they refuse to watch porn with dicks in it.
“Watching porn with dicks “héterosexual” porn is kinda gay since your vision is exposed to seeing dicks of other men,” wrote Med Amine, “maybe watching lesbian porn is way better or just girls jerking them selves off.”
“Never cared for man on woman porn,” agreed WiZardThEgRaY. “Only preferred solo softcore J-girl nude posing videos, no dicks, no tats, no bitchy scowling western faces etc.”
But this wasn’t enough for some incels, including someone called Robb97, who asserted that
watching women alone will make you into a submissive little cuck …
If you do that, then your brain has an unhealthy obsession with female pleasure. Something that should come as a by product of sex. But if someone watches a lot of female solo or lesbian porn, their brain makes his own sexual pleasure dependent on that of the woman. Which is very cucked if you think about it.
Yeah, thinking about a woman’s pleasure, what a total turnoff. No wonder these guys are incels.
@GSS ex-noob,
The part that really amazes me is the conviction that any time something bad happens, like a power outage, it is happening to him and him alone.
Speaking of power outages, my neighborhood had one yesterday that had me very worried for a while because I wasn’t sure how I would obtain dialysis. But at least I recognize that this was due to misfortune or human error and was not an attempt on my life.
No. Two dongs don’t make a right.
I keep expecting a skid into full-on solipsism any day now.
@ gss ex-noob
“The most terrifying thing about the universe is not that it is hostile but that it is indifferent.”
I’m keeping an eye on Betelgeuse.
https://astrobiology.nasa.gov/news/how-deadly-would-a-nearby-gamma-ray-burst-be/
Marcus Cole:
“I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, ‘wouldn’t it be much worse if life *were* fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them?’ So now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe.”
Surplus to Requirements
If you look at eg the consumer help pages of the Guardian you will find people who have spent months trying to get water restored, internet or electricity installed, companies to acknowledge that a parent of partner has died, months and you are whinging about two lousy calls.
Also I suspect most of the commentariat is not reading your screeds in full, why should any of us? We don’t owe you our attention, personally I read your comments when you are being rational as they are often well thought out and ineresting. When you’re like this? No, I maybe check the first few lines to see if you are still being paranoid, which is how I caught what I copied above, but no I didn’t read beyond that, I am not your therapist, I am not responsible for you other than in a general community sense – and your refusal to seek help has worn out that responsibility, lifting the responsibility (such as it is) to the rest of this community higher – and I have other things I do have to do. You are actively damaging the community here, you have previously complained about being driven from other communities, try to think about those occasions, and ask yourself honestly if it could have been down to your own behaviour, because if you behaved as you are now I could understand why a community might feel you had to go for the protection of their own mental health.
@Alan Robertshaw
Beat me to the Marcus Cole quote.
@ Full Metal ox
I feel guilty thinking that “Shabbos gay” would have a better ring to it.
Ah, Marcus. *raises glass*
Hey @allandrel! Sorry to butt in, I have concerns, didn’t your clinic give you a natural disaster/power outage plan? If I remember right you’re on PD? If yes they should set you up for 3 days of manuals, and let you know that you can warm the bags by wearing them under your shirt. Pls let me know if you want any tips on talking to your clinic.
Hey clever4agirl! Great to see you back. Hope all’s going great for you.
As to the indifferent quote, I’d always thought it was Arthur C Clarke. A quick google though suggests it was Stanley Kubrick. I wonder though if he picked that up from ACC? I’ll have to read “Lost Worlds” again.
@ surplus
You have drained just about ever ounce of compassion and sympathy people were willing to give you because you act like a tantruming toddler. No one is going to lench your repair guy and don’t you dare. Don’t you dare call not having internet fucking abuse. That’s like the assholes who compare divorce to rape. Don’t you fucking dare.
Hey Alan!!! I’m usually just lurking, but I had to pop up b/c disaster plans are so important when you’re on dialysis, but that might just be me being weird since I live in the land of wildfires, earthquakes, and rolling blackouts.
I find it reassuring that after any apocalypse you’ll be in charge of medical care and making sure we all have nice nails.
Ok, this obviously pertains to the situation at hand and I am struggling with it:
So if you have someone who is clearly having problems and is very not at all neurotypical expressing their views and understanding of the world, how do you address this without basically telling them what amounts to shut up and fall in line, I.E. Conform for our convenience? Does it matter if their views don’t seem to be valid or even untethered to reality at times?
At what point is it not worth the issues it causes in a given community to deal with this person? At what point do the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one? (Clearly this community has reached a breaking point.)
I guess I am struggling with feeling guilty for not being able to help, lashing out in frustration, etc, etc. Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results sort of thing. I want to both pile on here and yet try to back off and smooth the situation over, neither of which I am very good at.
(I realize this is basically asking the questions we are all unable to figure out here and nobody has an answer or we wouldn’t have the problem in the first place. I’m just thinking out loud)
Comment permalink where I made this claim?
Does it matter? Whether it was intentional or not, you’d have been just as dead either way. And … seriously? They throw dialysis patients on the mercy of unreliable local utilities and the weather rather than give them a gadget with a battery backup or something of the sort?
That’s wrong, and you should probably sue someone. Not sure who, though. The hospital perhaps? But leaving you in a situation where a long enough outage could literally kill you seems like some species of criminal negligence to me.
At least you’re badly-off enough that your needs are considered valid. I seem to be stuck in a weird sort of political no-man’s land: too poor, unemployed, and disabled, so not useful to the billionaires, for my needs to be seen as valid by the political right, and not sufficiently similar to a starving child in Africa for my needs to be seen as valid by the political left. Plus unable to meet those needs 100% self-sufficiently … Why, then, am I on the political left? A) facts and evidence indicate that to be the objectively correct choice if one wishes the greatest good for the greatest number, and B) whereas it seems happy to neglect me, the right would be equally happy to proactively kill me given the chance. I’ll take being ignored or even actively shunned over being targeted by death squads anyday.
@clever4agirl,
Thanks for the concern! Yes, I am on PD. I do have a supply for manual exchanges on hand, and my clinic has covered various options for warming fluid in the event of power outages (sunlight if an option, holding the bag against my body, and most definitely NOT immersing it in hot water). So an outage is not an immediate danger, and this really speaks more to my anxiety about an outage being prolonged.
That seems a pretty reasonable concern.
I hope it doesn’t come to that; but it seems you and Clever know what you’re doing. Seems unfair you should need to prep like that though.
@.45
For me, it’s a bit like a much smaller-scale version of the situation at a job I held that led to my having a breakdown and quitting. I worked pharmacy benefits, answering people’s questions about their plan and taking prescription refill requests.
As pretty much anyone familiar with the US health care system knows, our private health insurance plans are… not good. And as the first line of contact regarding the prescription aspects of peoples’ plans, I got to be the one they spoke to when some medication that their kid would die without wasn’t covered, or wasn’t on the formulary and so would cost them $500 for a day’s supply. And the answer was always that there was nothing that I could do.
People in such positions are supposed to learn to “turn their empathy on and off.” I can’t. Never have been able to. Maybe it’s part of my autism. And it became overwhelming. So overwhelming that I started to become overall numb instead. I just… stopped caring because I could not, must not, dare not care. I was becoming steadily less compassionate because if I didn’t, I would break down.
The job was actively making me a worse person. And realizing that, I did break down, and finally quit, even though that left me unemployed with still six digits of student loan debt, moving back in with my parents at 27.
Relating that to what you’re talking about… I’ve tried to help, just like you have. Like a lot of us have. Tried to help in many different ways, from offering practical advice for specific problems to attempts at reality checks to personal testimony about dealing with similar problems.
And all of us have been met with nothing but hostility and abuse, followed by more demands for help. We can’t help if all attempts at help are rejected. I think the final straw for me was a few weeks ago when describing some of my own history with mental illness and how I got help was alternately met with accusations of wanting the individual locked up against their will and of having used those mental health services as a vacation and thus preventing access to people who Actually Needed those resources.
It has basically wiped out any desire that I had to help. I tried just ignoring them, but as we have seen over the last week even when we just try to have a conversation about comics it getts completely derailed by novel-length rants about how streaming tv shows are theft and oppression.
Allandrel, I’m glad you have a plan, the patient advocate just jumped right out and wanted to write politely, but firmly worded emails.
I’d have paid a lot of money I don’t have if two calls could have solved my power problem. 2 days with no electricity, heat, or hot water in a winter storm would have been worth staying on the phone all damn day while being surrounded by an entire city who got theirs back in 4 hours at the worst. Even the genuinely poor parts of the city. You can only eat so much PB&J, tuna, and cold cereal. I was about to break out some very old Sterno (hoping it wasn’t too old) and crack a window to the cold wet air just to heat up some cans if it didn’t come on just before dinner.
Listen, when you’ve exhausted the autistics’ compassion, ain’t nobody else got any left. No matter how liberal, poor or not poor enough, or disabled/chronically ill, or whatever else.
Nobody except incels, MAGATs, and MRAs likes a tantrum-throwing entitled whiner.
Hello again friends, from we all here on the west side of Chi ~
We’re still here and have been reading along, just busy.
Also – ongoing net issues (our area is getting fiber optic.)
@ Surplus,
We wave hi again to you old friend, we hope to come up with some positive thoughts for you. (Provided the net doesn’t crap out again – )
@ .45,
Your thoughts on Surplus’ problems are interesting –
Especially whether or not to take a hard line approach, with someone who might not be “typical”.
Coincidentally enough – because Surplus mentioned some “Authoritarian relative(s)” in the past – we do think this might be part of the problem. And he probably has had enough of people barking at him to “straighten up”. We think he probably just wants some understanding and commiseration.
@ Surplus,
You did mention authoritarian relatives in the past?
What if most of your issues – could be explained by this?
For example –
You are quick to catastrophize simple problems. Power’s out for a few hours? – You’re going to die! You make a catastrophe out of simple problems.
Who else thinks this way?
Authoritarians.
You don’t listen to suggestions / if you do – it’s all defensive responses. Because with authoritarians – they expect you to answer for everything.
You think “someone” or some thing – is tormenting you.
Consider this – A conspiracy against you is just a reworking of blaming yourself.
And it’s all your fault, isn’t it?
That’s what you were always told.
You never apologize or even say you maybe went overboard here either.
Another authoritarian trait. They never apologize or concede a point.
In times of (simple) stress – you seem to go to an authoritarian approach.
You learned this way of dealing with problems.
And…… you’re probably going to have to see a shrink about this.
Can’t? Start reading. You can change your mindset – if you want to.
Myself and my friends here – can all spot this.
We had hard core authoritarian parents (and grand parents) too.
Keep this in mind: Older people are not likely to change. And try to be understanding –
Past generations *were told* to be authoritarian with kids. They thought they were doing right. They were *told* to raise kids this way, they themselves were raised this way.
Try to be understanding. You won’t change them – but you can change yourself.
You can change the way you look at and approach problems.
Goes for bureaucrats too. You’ll not change them. But – the customer service rep you deal with, – instead of yelling and threatening lawsuits – if you are nice and just say that you hope they can help you fix your problem – they will be more apt to help you.
As the old saying goes – You’ll attract more flies with honey than you will with vinegar.
We know too, what you really wish is – that someone would understand you. Someone to listen. Try to take your point of view into account. And maybe just offer a hug or some commiseration instead of immediately blaming you.
No one ever really did, did they? They just barked back at you and blamed you, even for things completely out of your control.
But you can be that person – for yourself.
You can change the way you look at things. Be more gentle with yourself. Look at things and talk to others the way you wish people would talk to you.
I read something once – that such issues can look like CPTSD.
Spend a good chunk of your life with someone (s) constantly nit picking and barking orders at you – and yeah – you’re going to be a nervous wreck.
And fly off the handle over simple problems. Like they did.
You were trained to think this way – and you can retrain your mind to think in different ways.
Something I saw the other day –
H.Ford had “model communities” / company towns – and had people come in to inspect the workers houses? WTF? And this was like the 1920s? 30s? So not all that long ago.
I pondered this and did think – no wonder my relatives were so paranoid.
Not that any were connected to that – but the overall sort of paranoid atmosphere, back in the day.
Consider this too, something even farther afield –
OK, we were watching old monster movies on TV. Pay attention to any old movie –
Notice how *over emotional* the actors are. And complete with dramatic music playing in the background. One past one I saw stuck out to me – “The Crawling Eye”. This is some monster on top of a mountain. Oh, there’s a full orchestra providing the music on top of that mountain too? It was extremely schlocky.
On a serious note –
Consider that our parents and grand parents watched this stuff.
Also – back in the day, a lot of movie actors came from the theater / were stage actors – where they *had to* over emote to get the point across to the whole audience.
It’s funny to contemplate –
Maybe our older relatives were overly emotional because of – past stage actors.
My older relatives always turned the simplest problem into a shrieking catastrophe.
A leaf blew past the window?
THE SKY IS GREEN! IT’S TORNADO! WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!
Uh – it was a leaf blowing past the window.
T, on toilet paper –
You used one too many squares of TP and her grandma would practically have a stroke and start yelling: WE’LL WIND UP IN THE POOR FARM YET!!!
Sound familiar?
Wondering where you got some of your ideas from?
We have a good guess where you got your ideas from –
Authoritarian relatives.
Go see a shrink.
Or try to DIY and unlearn this mindset.
Hugs to you friend, we understand and we wish you peace.
I don’t have a permalink, but I do have a genuine question: if you are not convinced that power outages etc. are happening only to you, how do you figure that they are targeting you? I mean, if other people are affected, one of those other people could just as easily be the “intended target” and you’d just be collateral.
Seems most likely that it’s just capitalism doing a capitalism and trying to get away with cutting corners on everyone’s service, though.
Since I’m being much more badly harmed than the other affected people, it stands to reason that I’m the one who was aimed at and the rest were the collateral damage, rather than the other way around. The only assumption that requires, and not a particularly generous assumption, is that the perpetrator has halfway decent aim.
@ Surplus to Requirements
It also requires that the preparator knows you go absolutely ballistic at what most people consider to be annoyances. Though to be fair, you’ve not exactly made that hard to figure out 🙄