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One semen-retaining Twitterer recently managed to score himself a viral hit with possibly the dumbest Twitter take ever, his newfound fame–and 2.3 million views–driven in part by less-than-complimentary quote retweets like the following:
But Mr. Retentionn Kings | NoFap has many other insights that may have been overlooked by the haters, and I’d like to share some of them with you here now.
Here is another SEMEN RETENTION QUOTE for the ages. It is also not true.
He’s not much of a fan of porn.
Er, dude, that last one sounds like porn actually saved you from being a broken man and made you a king, not the other way around.
Like General Jack D. Ripper in Dr. Strangelove, Mr. Retention Kings denies women his essence:
Imagine making “not jerking off or having sex” your whole life. It seems a little sad.
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@Pope: LOL.
@Occasional Reader: I mostly watched the anime on netflix, which apparently starts late in where the manga starts. To me it it was primarily a comedic experience (“I have such grip strength I can climp a sheer 90 degree smooth surface!”, people being so srtong they can kill eachother by throwing a single eyelash at them, that kind of nonsense).
I highly recommend these semen retainers to look up the health benefits of masturbation, as science tends to disagree with them and they give the impression of being… a bit stressed.
Wow, every time you think the NoFap crowd has reached the height of absurdity, they up the ante.
@FMO
Thank you so much for telling me what manga/anime NOT to touch… that is horrible and wrong on so many levels, both factually and morally.
While testosterone seems to correlate with heightened aggression and make you more horny, it by no ways means that you will turn into a rapist, or in fact believe any of that superiority nonsense, just because of high-T. That is a question of character and nothing more.
And the takes in those Tweets are as dumb as always from those guys. I really wonder how I, a sex-aversed asexual AFAB, ever managed to function so well for so long without having slept with a man! How do lesbians? It’s a total mystery!
I can see retainers really being into WTF muscleman anime. Even if the mechanism is different, you’ve basically got dudes who have superpowers because they have so much testosterone. They’ve convinced themselves that’s the reward that is waiting for them.
@KMB
Yeah, “power level is literally just ng/dL of testosterone” is uh… certainly A Decision, even by bad shonen anime standards.
@Raging Bee
No, it’s from one of Muhammad’s last living companions, because we should get our sex advice from someone who lived in in the 9th century.
@Anon: Just looked him up. He barely even made it to the 8th century, even worse!
So unless he can explain why Mecca’s got electrical lights and skyscrapers, he’s not someone who was up on his medical knowledge, either. Dude probably believed in the “science” of the four humors at BEST.
He fought in the wars, so you’d think he’d have ample opportunity to see that bone marrow isn’t full of jizz. And that girls can see just fine even when they’re virgins.
Point being: he opined this in the 7th century.*
Does NoFap Boy go to doctors who treat him with bloodletting? Surgeons who’ve never seen the inside of a human body before they started practicing? People who don’t know what a germ is?
*(Technically correct! The best kind!)
In the interest of brain bleach, here’s a happier image of Muslim life: Sheikh Walid Mehsas of Algeria Keeping Calm And Carrying On in the face of a cat’s most determined efforts to photobomb the Ramadan prayers. (In fact, given the regard cats enjoy in Islam, the incident may have been considered auspicious.)
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ptp7LYqHRo8
Also: a new imaginary Tumblore movie is under construction, from the folks who brought us GONCHAROV:
https://lovepsychothefirst.tumblr.com/post/714789428875427840
@FM Ox: I love the kitty! And how the sheikh just kept talking, holding kitty when needed and otherwise ignoring it. I wonder if that’s the mosque cat who does this all the time?
I would consider it very auspicious, myself. Li’l guy is extra blessed, and sure knew his moment to show up.
I don’t think the Serbian pigeon movie will have the legs of GONCHAROV, but do keep us posted.
that’s definitely one of the mosque’s cats and they must really love the imam
@GSS ex-noob:
I would consider it very auspicious, myself. Li’l guy is extra blessed, and sure knew his moment to show up.
Almost certainly her moment, barring Klinefelter’s or chimerism; Kitty is a calico.
@FM Ox: Oh, I didn’t see the black spots!
That explains it all. Tortietude is real, I served one for 20 years.
(All internet threads eventually turn into cat threads. This is the way.)