The oppression of men by fat women continues apace. Reports are coming in that some of these fat women want to date “normal” sized men, while “normal” sized women are all dating hunky Chads and are thus unavailable and unattainable by their male looks matches.
“Obesity has absolutely nuked the chance to go on a date with even regular women,” complains Tripleawge in the PurplePillDebate subreddit.
The biggest casualty of the obesity epidemic is men who are not obese and specifically trying to date women who are neither big nor obese…
From dating apps to real life to even fat models there’s clearly a lot more bigger women than ever before and naturally this has lead to the normal weight woman being as rare as ever to find, in turn leading to their value skyrocketing.
Well, if you hate fat women, I guess that could be the case.
But before we continue this most enlightening discussion, I feel it necessary to point out that while obesity is increasing, it is increasing just as fast for men as it is for women. Indeed, the percentage of American men who are obese and severely obese is slightly higher (43%) than the percentage of American women who are (41.9%). So presumably the “value” of “normal weight men” must be “skyrocketing” as well.
But it isn’t just “normal-weight men” who are being oppressed. Also on the “woke” chopping block are men who hate fat women.
Not to mention the fact that any guy who talks about this in public spaces instantly gets shut down with the “fat-phobic” slander…
It is indeed terrible that fatphobic men are being called fatphobic.
These days it has become much tougher to wow normal sized women without being extremely fit and as a Gen Z I can 100% attest to a lot of guys my age and younger who are now using dangerous SARMS and steroids in order to get “more plates for more dates”
Huh. Or maybe they’re having trouble “wowing” women because they’re the sort of guys who refer to women as “plates.” [EDIT: I’m told that in this context “plates” refers to the weights you put on barbells.]
Or am I just tripping and this really isn’t that big of a deal…
Edit: I forgot to add there’s a lot of people who say that there must be a lot of fit women out there and while there clearly are the majority of women who are social, fit, and attractive are already in relationships and so clearly off limits. This has also (not saying it’s a complete negative but statistically speaking) contributed to the scarcity of fit women around.
Again, there is pretty much the exact same number of non-fat men as there are non-fat women, so I’m thinking maybe your sexual marketplace calculations might be off a tad.
Luckily for Tripleawge, very few of those in the PurplePillDebate are willing to spend the ten seconds it takes to Google the percentages of obese men and women, so there are plenty of commenters on his side.
In the comments, it emerges that his problems with dating apps may stem from the fact that he’s the world’s worst texter.
“Where I live I can get matches,” he admits.
But every conversation with any girl remotely beautiful tends to end after hey beautiful, how’s your week (or year) going so far. It’s lead to me to believe that there’s something else at play other than just looking good or being interested.
Yeah, your terrible text game. Who in their right mind is going to respond to an exceedingly generic and low-effort come-on like “hey beautiful, how’s your week?” I mean, Jesus Christ, just ask her about something in her profile to show that you bothered to read it. You don’t have to be Cyrano de Bergerac to figure that out.
But I guess it’s easier to post s fatphobic conspiracy theory on Reddit than it is to actually read some women’s profiles before sending them a note.
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@ david
In this context, plates are the weights you put on the end of barbells.
“More plates for more dates” is a phrase in lifting. The idea being building muscle makes you more attractive.
I have an irresistible urge to cat fish someone on a dating app right now.
“there is pretty much the exact same number of non-fat men as there are non-fat women”
Funny that’s not what I see. Who is counting I wonder? To a woman “fat” for a man means “Doesn’t have a 6 pack” but “fat” for a woman means “Can’t remember what her toes look like.”
Also even if some men are fat…… so what? 90% of a man’s value comes from his accomplishments…… income…. wealth….. ability to produce and protect children. 90% of a woman’s value comes from whether she is attractive.
Don’t like it….. tough. That is how biology works…… and denail of biology is most of what is wrong with the world today!!
I fully support these guys getting off the internet and lifting weights for 17 hours per day.
I think that would be a win for everyone.
Also, I love that hed image, David. She’s beautiful.
Is the image supposed to be a “fat” woman? She looks “normal” to me.
The header image doesn’t look fat to me. I’m certainly larger.
Also, “419%,” David?
I’m fat and have a thinner looking face than header lady, so YMMV.
@Alan
It’s incredible to me how, after literally decades of prettyboy silver screen crushes, some men still think that every woman loves bulging hulk muscles. It’s like these guys live in a different universe.
He’s like what, twentysomething? How does he know about before days vs. these days?
That’s probably because he happened to drift into the bodybuilding online subculture. Though it is often said that young men’s body image issues are genuinely on the increase, but I doubt it has much anything to do with the difficulty of dating.
If they’re rare, then they’re not “normal”. Words have meaning.
Just a quick note that the woman in the header pic isn’t really “fat,” she’s more like “voluptuous” or “curvy” or maybe “buxom.” People come in all shapes and sizes, so we really need more than three words to describe them.
This has been a public-service message from your local unemployed tech writer.
Agree that I wouldn’t call header lady art fat.
However, the guy David is quoting absolutely is the type to, because generally the guys complaining the most about fat women are the types that have such an incredibly warped idea of what women actually look like.
Also, faces alone are not great for determining full body composition. Some very skinny people have very round faces and some very rotund people have very angular faces.
Bodies are weird like that.
Do you think it’s ok to only be attracted to skinny people if you aren’t a jerk about it and just be like “sorry, not my type” to fat people who ask you out? Because I’ve tried to be attracted to fat people and I don’t think I can, but I don’t want to be a fat phobic jerk.
@Lisa
If there’s a way for guys to turn down guys b/c they’re into women without being homophobic assholes, then there’s a way for you to turn down the people you’re not attracted to without being a jerk about it.
Use your empathy. Don’t give a reason, Be honest about the things you can be honest about without causing insult (in other words, say that you’re flattered if you’re actually flattered, but not if you’re not; say that you’re in a relationship if you’re actually in a relationship, but not if you’re not, etc. even if you would still turn someone down anyway b/c you’re not into them).
Don’t make shit up that isn’t true (“I only date drummers”).
If you are on a blind date and you find out that they aren’t your cup of tea (for whatever reason), find something to enjoy in the time you spend together and then just don’t schedule another date. Don’t walk out on the person because looking at them doesn’t give you little orgasms in your pants.
It’s not that hard. We honestly impart so much pressure to these moments b/c of how we view relationships. But if you have a healthier view of relationships (they don’t give you your social value, you don’t have to have one, if you have one, it doesn’t have to be your forever relationship, having more than fifty might make you a slut, sure, but being a slut isn’t a bad thing and it’s no one else’s business anyway, etc. etc.) in general, then it’s easier to have a healthier view of each individual offer of a relationship.
@Lisa
A simple way to turn down someone is “Thanks, but I’m not feeling it.”
When (sadly, not “if”) they come back with “But whyyyyy?” your response continues to be “because I’m not feeling it.”
Cool, thanks
Turning down date offers from men can be anxiety producing for women. We invest a lot of emotional labor into interactions with people, men in this case, not wanting to hurt them, not wanting to come off snobbish but at the same time wanting to be clear so as not to send “mixed messages” and on top of it we often have to consider if this person might hurt us physically (or even kill us in extreme circumstances) just for not being interested in them.
The online rhetoric from incels, manospheresians, general misogynists and Andrew Tate fans who apparently are as young as grade school now, just makes things so much worse.
Ideally a polite “thanks, but I’m not feeling it” would be enough. But nowadays I just don’t know.
@Man-Who-Spouts-Evopsych-Nonsense:
That’s patriarchal societal norms, not innate.
Women of all sizes like men with “fat” personalities and the ability to come up with non-crappy opening lines. Look like you’re trying, boys.
I think these boys have watched too many sitcoms where the hot blonde wives are married to the fat clueless men.
As for definitions of “fat”, theirs are wildly off. They think any man who can still walk on his own and wears less than 4X (them) isn’t fat, but any woman who isn’t anorexic with implants where her fat should be (a very small percentage of women) is.
Also — to generalize wildly — women who are overweight tend to present themselves better as far as dress and grooming go. Fat boys like these chuds don’t shave, comb their hair, shower, or wipe their butts.
@LIAWN: LOL. But they aren’t worth you time. Let the ladies they hit on keep putting them down.
@Crip Dyke: I like you and really am overdue to subscribe to your newsletter or blog. And the image is beautiful. I too wondered why she was illustrating a post about fat. Till I realized by these chuds’ warped ideas, she is.
@Lisa: “I’m not feeling it” should do. If not, wave your hands and go “…ahh, it’s too long to explain, we’d both get bored.”
@Painful
Yeah, climate catastrophe, Putin, and inflation are much further down the list of What Is Wrong with the World Today.
I kid. Two things constitute most of what is wrong with the world today: (1) misspellings and (2) the overuse of exclamation points.
@he who speaks
Have you contacted the various journals where this data is published? Your personal observations could undermine their entire careful statistical analysis. They need to know!
Various health institutions and insurance agencies with data then generally collated by the WHO. Of course, these bodies are extremely interested in your dating life and wish to deceive you.
This bias you report is disturbing, but I have comforting news. Given that BMI is the measure used as a baseline for determining obesity across every major data set, a 12 and a half stone, 5 foot 3 woman (ie. Thicc/curvy) and a sixteen stone, 6 foot man (ie. Dad bod) will both statistically be in the “obese” category, no matter how we perceive their relative sexiness.
Every time this nonsense comes up, I can’t help but be reminded of a couple I met once, a thin and tall person with a fat and short partner. They couldn’t look more different, yet they seemed very happy together.
I’ve been amusing myself with Simon Brett’s Mrs. Pargeter mysteries this weekend. I’d originally read them years and years ago, and recently snagged the first three on sale. Mrs. Pargeter is not your typical amateur detective. Yes, she’s technically old enough to be a grandmother, but unlike Miss Marple, she’s a widow of a man who loved her truly, madly, deeply … and seems to have been a king of thieves when he was alive. His network of confederates still holds him in such high esteem that they are only too willing to help out Mrs. Pargeter whenever she is in need of their talents to investigate a suspicious death.
Oh, and it’s a frequent story point that Mrs. Pargeter is plump, voluptuous, zaftig, whatever term you like to use. Mr. Pargeter, we are told, liked to call her his “Goddess of Plenty.” She is comfortable in her body and loves the way she looks in part because her looks were celebrated by her husband but also because she likes herself.
She’s the manosphere’s worst nightmare.
He-Who-Speaks: Thanks for the absolutely hilarious and spot-on parody of bioessentialist MRA rhetoric. You’ve totally “denailed” it, if I do say so myself.
@He-Who-Speaks
If women didn’t have value beyond our attractiveness, we wouldn’t live into our 70s or longer. The reason human lifespan is so long is so that grandparents and elders can stick around, teaching and caring for kids. We know this because it is how nomadic peoples continue to work to this day.
You are literally wrong because biology.