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A favorite pastime of the bitterest of men is to imagine just how gloriously easy it is to live life as a beautiful woman. One of these fellows recently sat down and penned an interesting work of fiction on the topic to post in the PurplePillDebate subreddit. So let’s give “How I imagine life as an attractive woman is like” by somanyshawties a quick read; I will be offering some notes.
The day begins:
Wake up, realize that you don’t actually have to wake up early because you could easily find a guy who would be ok with you being a stay-at-home wife/mom.
Today I learned that stay-at-home moms could sleep in any day they want while their children get up, dress themselves, clean themselves, serve themselves breakfast, and usher themselves off to school, while the younger ones just sleep quietly in their cribs, safe and content, bothering no one.
Regardless, wake up because you want to be independent and prove to yourself that you don’t need to be a stay-at-home wife/mom but the option is still there…. if you ever want to take it of course
In case you’re wondering, only 14 percent of American women are stay-at-home moms; I’m not exactly sure how these guys figure this is a live option for any woman who wants it.
Make breakfast. Eat. Check your phone, another loser who you will never get with texted you. Leave him on read because he doesn’t live up to the standard your ex set.
Why exactly is another message from another loser who wants to get into your pants and who might well flip out after being ignored supposed to be a good thing?
Start work. Multiple texts from your siblings, friends who are girls, friends who would probably date you if you gave them the chance.
Only hot girls get texts from siblings. And apparently, it is supposed to be a wonderful thing if all your male friends not-so-secretly want to bone you.
Check your social media where you get tons of attention because you posted a picture last week. A couple comments there from random guys who call you beautiful, gorgeous, etc. Another random in the dm. Dopamine up.
Who call you beautiful, gorgeous … who send you unsolicited dick pics, who describe in great detail what they would like to do to you, who beg you for pictures of your feet.
Finish work. Get groceries. Every guy in there would definitely say “smash” if they were asked.
Constantly surrounded by horny guys who only think of you sexually.
See another hot girl and acknowledge the unspoken agreement about how nice both of your lives are.
Um.
Continue shopping. The cashier says a joke to you. Everyone is super nice and avoids you because they are intimidated by how you are. Maybe one guy with enough balls tries to talk to you but he is 45. Yuck.
Yea, it’s so flattering to be randomly approached by guys twice your age who want to use you for sex.
Get back in your car and drive home. Stop for coffee on the way back and the barista compliments your hair. She isn’t pretty but guys will still thirst for her. Feel happy you don’t look like her.
Not everyone spends their life rating everyone else’s alleged hotness or lack thereof.
Get on a facetime call and talk with your other hot friends about a guy you or they are interested in. Netflix the rest of the night.
Talking with friends, watching TV–clearly, these are luxuries that only hot girls get to partake in.
Weekend comes. Keep texting random guys you have no intention of meeting in real life. The attention is nice though.
Not happening. Why would any woman whose life is already overflowing with horny guys want to encourage guys she doesn’t even like to fixate on her?
Because you are a hot girl, you somehow received an invitation to a social event, or one of your friends did, and you are tagging along.
Only hot girls go to social events.
Semi-cute guy talks to you. Numbers exchanged. Maybe this will be the one to replace him. Drink a little. Go home and think about ex.
The highlight of the evening is a brief chat with a “semi-cute guy.” This easy, exciting life doesn’t seem all that easy or exciting.
Every once in a blue moon, sleep with said guy. But not too often.
Only hot girls have occasional sex with guys they’re not all that into. or who aren’t all that into them.
Maybe I will get into a relationship one day.
Years pass, you still look hot. One of the cute guys you met at that party is still on your snapchat. Cue date, relationship, marriage.
And … scene!
Such a strange vision of a supposedly utopian life. The only thing this imaginary woman has in abundance is attention from men she’s not interested in; this is, for somanyshawties at least, somehow more valuable than gold. Beyond that, the details of her life are not all that dramatic. She goes to work. She goes shopping. She talks to friends. She watches Netflix. She goes to the occasional party. She has some even more occasional sex. This is the life that somanyshawties is so bitterly jealous of?
And what about the gym? Stereotypically hot women, like stereotypically hot men, tend to spend time at the gym, maintaining their hotness. It actually takes a certain amount of work.
This being the PurplePillDebate subreddit, the post got a decent amount of pushback from a few feminists and others who are inexplicably patient enough to debate these goobers in the first place. But it also earned praise from other bitter men.
“Every attractive woman I know lives like this lol,” wrote Noble_trader. “Womens currency is attention.”
Alwaysaloneforever97 (I wonder why) added:
The women made it this way by installing the matriarchy.
They basically pit men against each other and reward the winner with sex.
They sit back, get handed millions of dollars by the working class man. And laugh at all the pain and destruction they are causing.
TrueEnoughNewsViews was convinced that somanyshawties was overestimating the effort required to live life in hot girl mode.
This couldn’t be more wrong. It’s way easier than this.
Open an OnlyFans account.
Jab yourself with a dildo for half an hour a day while pretending to be attracted to omega males.
Count your millions.
The critics made more sense.
Silver-Tumbleweed351 noted that
There isn’t anything appealing about the fact that numerous men would happily, selfishly use your body to masturbate with.
The only attention which matters is the attention from someone she’d actually date. You think she cares if a slobbering 55 year old balding man with a bum hip would fuck her given the chance? Or if a depraved, porn sick 19 year old dipshit volunteers to jerk off on her feet?
Is this what men want? The opportunity to be degraded and humiliated?
Gilmoregirlin offered a more realistic take on the daily life of the attractive woman:
Wake up go to work because you never want to rely on a man to support you. At work you are highly educated and good at your job, but people presume you are stupid because of the way you look. Your male co workers and bosses oggle you, they stare at you no matter what you wear. It’s disgusting, you want to vomit. Client’s ask you out, it’s embarrassing you just want to do your job. … You think men are trying to mentor or help you, only to find out their true goal was to sleep with you. When you do get a promotion or a good job, people presume you were hired solely because of the way you look, and that you don’t deserve it.
The women at your job hate you. They do not want you anywhere near their husbands or boyfriends. They presume you are stuck up by the way you look, which is not true.
You walk to work, you are cat called. You ride public transit, men try to speak with you even when you wear huge headphones, excuse me, mam. They get angry when you are not interested. You stop at Target on the way home. Men follow you around the store and hit on you. You are afraid.
You cannot go to a bar alone and even when you go with friends it ends up with men pestering you. You have always been polite, you are never rude, but that just encourages them more. You start to avert your eyes to the ground to avoid making eye contact. …
Being called beautiful from random people or from people on social media does nothing for you because you hear it so much. You want to be recognized for something other than your looks.
You want a relationship, but most men want to sleep with you only because of your looks. Men are afraid to be in a serious relationship with you because they think you will leave them. You sit at home alone a lot, while everyone presumes you are in a relationship. …
You do online dating, you receive 100 messages a day you can barely get through them. 95% of them never even read your profile. You are harassed incessantly. You get follow up emails saying “what do you think you are too good for me you b” multiple times a day, you give up.
You have male friends you thought were legit male friends, and it turns out they were only hanging around looking to sleep with you. You have a hard time making female friends because they are jealous and mean, they never give you a shot.
You have guys hanging around hoping that when you get older and have less choices you will chose them. You don’t because this is not how it works, the men get angry. …
People presume your life is amazing, when deep inside you are hurting and sad.
You are recognized from a young age solely for your looks when you were a child creepy old men said inappropriate things to you and look at your breasts. Teachers cannot focus. You feel dirty. And you are EXTREMELY insecure because you know that your looks will fade, and it’s the only thing you have ever been recognized for. You think you are not attractive. You obsess about every little thing, your hair, your makeup, your clothes. You don’t ever feel good enough.
You are now 45 years old and have put on some weight. You have never been happier to be able to walk alone and not have this fear. People recognize your success for what they are, they don’t presume you are stupid. You have legit male friends, and a lot of female friends. People see you as more than just a pretty face.
You have no clue my friend, no clue.
No clue is putting it mildly.
Just WHAT IS THE POINT of fantasies that fill you with resentment and hatred? How is that worthwhile? What a self- harming way to live inside your own head. What a waste of your own life.
I am aware of how fortunate I was as a child, living in a depressed household, to have access to a lot of books. Reading about other people’s thoughts and lives showed me things could be different. And- listening to late night radio quiz shows where teams of adults would laugh themselves silly trying to work out puzzles – that showed me that adults could be happy and could enjoy talking to each other. Thank ceiling cat for those radio programs!
These bitter men- they have made a bad choice and they keep on making it day after day.
There’s a lot of loneliness in the modern world. Something tells me that the PPD poster has put himself out there, to a resounding silence. Must feel terrible. But then he has such a childish picture of sex and women’s lives. And he’s so hostile. Ah well, I’ve got to stop trying to understand this.
I like being old, lol! I can go anywhere and guys aren’t pests. I remember as a young woman wishing I wasn’t young. I wasn’t beautiful – just young.
@some chud:
You’re describing fossil fuel executives, not women.
No, you won’t.
@Lizzie
Me, too.The library: field of dreams. Honestly, I thought that Mr. Andrew Carnegie (notorious union buster) must be an angel come to earth. Yeah, I got older and learned a few more facts about him.
Yes! Reading also told me that I could be different from other people, and that this was okay. It gave young-adult me the courage to reject conformist ideas that some of my therapists had.
Same here — except I was listening to advertisements on the radio. Those people were invariably happy, or at least they became happy within a few seconds. No, I didn’t know that the sponsors wanted my money.
Book & radio devotee solidarity!
Thread won.
The “easy life” of the attractive lesbian/aroace woman:
Her: “No, I’m not interested in having sex with men, ever.”
Rude men: “What a waste! No, I don’t believe you, you’re too pretty to be asexual or a lesbian. You should try!”
I’ve never experienced life as a super hot lady but I do think…
… plays into stereotypes about women and could be a case of internalised misogyny (if the OP was a woman). The prettiest women I’ve known have usually had a strong cohort of female friends. It might be a case that *assuming* women less attractive than themselves are resentful and mean (and don’t have charms of their own) may put other people’s backs up and become a self-fulfilling prophecy for some.
Her: Well I do have this one glory hole fantasy.
Rude Man: Yes! I’ll fuck you through a glory hole!
Her: [drills a whole in a watermelon, lines it up with a hole in a wall and duct tapes it there, leaves to go on with her life]
Rude Man: Oh yeah! This is what I was talking about. You’re so good! And I love your perfume!
I can confirm that men oggle you a lot, no matter if you are gorgeous or “only” pretty, and no matter where you live and what you do. Being only pretty doesn’t save you from assumptions about your looks, either. I have an open, not unattractive face, and am sociable despite being introverted and hold back when I don’t know someone; that mix together garners me a lot of attention in itself. I also apparently have a dazzling smile. Guess what kind of comment I often get. Oh, and idiots like that dude would be surprised how many guys like curvy women and enbies, even if that means a couple kilograms too many are on their hips. It was a beauty ideal during not inconsiderable stretches of human history after all.
Funnily enough, anyone expecting a doormat because of all that is in for a rough awakening. I’m very frank and I will tell you when you mess up. And I’m about as meek and submissive as a lion. I’m also no idiot and really can’t stand it when people assume I can’t do or know something because they perceive me as female. Or that I do know or am interested in certain things because of it.
However, I don’t really care about how pretty I am or how pretty someone else is,a t least not enough to form opinions on their intelligence ocer it. And I won’t dismiss you or think you are stupid because you are pretty. I will appreciate a pretty face, in fact, but I won’t stare or get weird about it. All women being mean to pretty women is bullshit. Maybe some are that way, but certainly not all. It’s a stereotype, and not a good one. Telling me shit like that is a surefire way to actually make me dislike and maybe look down on you… but not because of sex, gender, or looks.
That said, live isn’t easy no matter how you look. What a bullshit assumption. Had that post of Gilmoregirlin not been so horribly shitty towards other women and AFAB enbies, I would have agreed with it. I have female friends. We are very close with each other. Some are prettier than others. So what? Also, except for the unsolicited and outright creepy attention, that post describes a pretty ordinary and outright boeing life… I really don’t know what is there to be jealous of.
The Redditor apparently doesn’t realize that his description is demeaning not just to women but also to men. If he really believes that he and all other men are led around by their dicks, he must have incredibly low self-regard.
It’s as though he thinks of hot women as low-level celebrities. In fact, what he describes more closely resembles the type of life many men imagine for male movie stars or rock stars.
You ever wonder sometimes if it’s possible for suicide to be a step up for some people?
@Lollypop: “The prettiest women I’ve known have usually had a strong cohort of female friends.”
Same here. I have been a less-attractive female friend of several conventionally hot-looking women, and none of us (or any of their other less-attractive female friends) ever had any kind of falling-out over being jealous of the “hotter girl” for her looks.
I suspect that there are some insecure women—probably mostly quite conventionally attractive themselves, given how much “hotness” seems to matter to them—who do resent “hotter” women and make their jealousy and resentment apparent. (I haven’t experienced this myself because no other woman has ever been jealous of my looks, 😀 but I can believe that it happens.) And then their targets assume that ALL less-hot women are envying and resenting them.
This is a book quote I cherish, it is sorta on topic and sorta not. It is definitely not what an incel would think as a ideal life for a woman, but it is one many woman would aspire to.
Yaga Baba
The Witch figure is irresistible to me. Throughout millennia of patriarchy, the Witch has been there to show us another way. As Pam Grossman notes in the foreword to my other new book, Literary Witches (illustrated by my brilliant collaborator, Katy Horan), the Witch is the only female archetype who’s not defined by relationships to other people. Her worth isn’t tied to her beauty or fertility or nurturing qualities, but to her knowledge, wisdom, and creativity. The Witch is her own wild animal, an outsider in touch with the reality of life, including its gruesomeness, darkness, and hilarity. Baba Yaga is an old woman who lives in the woods in a magic chicken-legged hut, doing what she wants and cracking herself up with shenanigans. What could be better than that?
Pam Grossman
My wife got tons of these comments from horny dudes. I can tell you she never encouraged them from any dude, except maybe me. I can’t see why other men think women want to be harassed.
@ happy cat
The “best” thing about these is the assumption that no steps have ever been taken before this random person suggests them. No, kind sir/madam! It never occurred to me to spend any time thinking about my sexual identity and/or validity thereof!
I’ve seen people online argue that young people can’t be asexual and if they think they are, they need to talk to a doctor to check their hormone levels. It reads like a misunderstanding of the whole concept of asexuality on the one hand and demanding to know a person’s medical history on the other.
@ Nequam
I do not. Also, comments policy.
I think life of celebrieties must be awful. Those paparazzi, unwanted attention everywhere, sometimes even psychofans threatening their security. Much worse than life of an average Joe or Jane.
But it’s still better than fate of hot women. Celebrieties can easily change their looks, while beautiful women, despite most of them desperately trying, can never change their looks and appearance. It is why they are always so happy getting wrinkles, getting fat and never have any interest in fashion, cosmetics, hairdressing and cosmetic medicine.
Totally off topic, but one of the most charming stories I ever heard was about this little Russo-Ukrainian girl from a Jewish family who fled their home in the Ukrainian territory of the Soviet Union in the earliest 90s.
The USA was new and completely different and no one was speaking the right language, etc, etc., etc. Poor kiddo was completely traumatized. Worse, her mom couldn’t even stay with her all day, so she was going to day care at the JCC in Portland.
My BFF worked there back then, and they worked soooooo hard to try to make this kid comfortable. A few other kids also spoke Russian or Ukrainian (not sure which, but I think the latter) so she could understand them, but it wasn’t enough.
The library, though, had a program of bringing around some books once a month to different child care centres (and picking up the ones they had left last month) so there was always something new to read. Recognizing that there were several Russian/Ukrainian kids, the librarian added a few books in those languages, including a children’s book about Baba Yaga.
Well, it turns out that back home in Ukraine one of her favourite games had been being chased around the house by her grandmother, who played Baba Yaga. And it also turns out that when she made mischief her family would (affectionately) call her “Baba Yoshka” (“little Baba Yaga”).
So my BFF who is trying patiently week after week to draw this kid out of her shell, only to see her hide in the corner every single day, finds these books and pulls out the Baba Yaga story.
Three minutes after introducing her to this book (which my BFF could not read, but this 4 year old could) she had left her corner and was chatting animatedly with BFF and one of the other teachers who was fluent in the language the child was speaking. Pretty soon — and again every day thereafter — the little one was screaming at the top of her lungs, “I AM BABA YOSHKA” and chasing my BFF the way her grandmother had chased her, threatening the whole time to cook BFF and eat her in soup. When she caught BFF she would pantomime ladling hot water over BFF while BFF screamed her terrified distress until they both collapsed in giggles.
In a week the kid was friends with everyone in the class and her English was improving rapidly.
So when someone asks you what good witches have ever done, you can tell them that they made a terrified soviet Jewish kid into a friendly, social member of Portland’s Jewish community.
God that story still makes me cry. What a cutie.
@ Nequam What Masse_Mysteria said.
I love the story of Baba Yoshka. I’m another one who used to hide in books metaphorically and in the library literally. I still feel good every time I’m surrounded by books. So many worlds!
@ Crip Dyke
Awwwww <3
Hey, he hit the wall. That’s life, or is “the wall” not actually a thing?
“The women at your job hate you. They do not want you anywhere near their husbands or boyfriends. They presume you are stuck up by the way you look, which is not true.”
I’m sure it must happen sometimes but for the most part women are friendly and supportive of each other.
@Tabby Lavalamp
The asshats in question believe that “men age like fine wine, women age like milk”.
Which is nonsense.
The cashier would never joke with a man. Fact.
So super nice that they avoid you. Also, that cashier is awfully brave to not be intimidated by you.
How many balls are we talking about? Two? Three? More?