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A favorite pastime of the bitterest of men is to imagine just how gloriously easy it is to live life as a beautiful woman. One of these fellows recently sat down and penned an interesting work of fiction on the topic to post in the PurplePillDebate subreddit. So let’s give “How I imagine life as an attractive woman is like” by somanyshawties a quick read; I will be offering some notes.
The day begins:
Wake up, realize that you don’t actually have to wake up early because you could easily find a guy who would be ok with you being a stay-at-home wife/mom.
Today I learned that stay-at-home moms could sleep in any day they want while their children get up, dress themselves, clean themselves, serve themselves breakfast, and usher themselves off to school, while the younger ones just sleep quietly in their cribs, safe and content, bothering no one.
Regardless, wake up because you want to be independent and prove to yourself that you don’t need to be a stay-at-home wife/mom but the option is still there…. if you ever want to take it of course
In case you’re wondering, only 14 percent of American women are stay-at-home moms; I’m not exactly sure how these guys figure this is a live option for any woman who wants it.
Make breakfast. Eat. Check your phone, another loser who you will never get with texted you. Leave him on read because he doesn’t live up to the standard your ex set.
Why exactly is another message from another loser who wants to get into your pants and who might well flip out after being ignored supposed to be a good thing?
Start work. Multiple texts from your siblings, friends who are girls, friends who would probably date you if you gave them the chance.
Only hot girls get texts from siblings. And apparently, it is supposed to be a wonderful thing if all your male friends not-so-secretly want to bone you.
Check your social media where you get tons of attention because you posted a picture last week. A couple comments there from random guys who call you beautiful, gorgeous, etc. Another random in the dm. Dopamine up.
Who call you beautiful, gorgeous … who send you unsolicited dick pics, who describe in great detail what they would like to do to you, who beg you for pictures of your feet.
Finish work. Get groceries. Every guy in there would definitely say “smash” if they were asked.
Constantly surrounded by horny guys who only think of you sexually.
See another hot girl and acknowledge the unspoken agreement about how nice both of your lives are.
Um.
Continue shopping. The cashier says a joke to you. Everyone is super nice and avoids you because they are intimidated by how you are. Maybe one guy with enough balls tries to talk to you but he is 45. Yuck.
Yea, it’s so flattering to be randomly approached by guys twice your age who want to use you for sex.
Get back in your car and drive home. Stop for coffee on the way back and the barista compliments your hair. She isn’t pretty but guys will still thirst for her. Feel happy you don’t look like her.
Not everyone spends their life rating everyone else’s alleged hotness or lack thereof.
Get on a facetime call and talk with your other hot friends about a guy you or they are interested in. Netflix the rest of the night.
Talking with friends, watching TV–clearly, these are luxuries that only hot girls get to partake in.
Weekend comes. Keep texting random guys you have no intention of meeting in real life. The attention is nice though.
Not happening. Why would any woman whose life is already overflowing with horny guys want to encourage guys she doesn’t even like to fixate on her?
Because you are a hot girl, you somehow received an invitation to a social event, or one of your friends did, and you are tagging along.
Only hot girls go to social events.
Semi-cute guy talks to you. Numbers exchanged. Maybe this will be the one to replace him. Drink a little. Go home and think about ex.
The highlight of the evening is a brief chat with a “semi-cute guy.” This easy, exciting life doesn’t seem all that easy or exciting.
Every once in a blue moon, sleep with said guy. But not too often.
Only hot girls have occasional sex with guys they’re not all that into. or who aren’t all that into them.
Maybe I will get into a relationship one day.
Years pass, you still look hot. One of the cute guys you met at that party is still on your snapchat. Cue date, relationship, marriage.
And … scene!
Such a strange vision of a supposedly utopian life. The only thing this imaginary woman has in abundance is attention from men she’s not interested in; this is, for somanyshawties at least, somehow more valuable than gold. Beyond that, the details of her life are not all that dramatic. She goes to work. She goes shopping. She talks to friends. She watches Netflix. She goes to the occasional party. She has some even more occasional sex. This is the life that somanyshawties is so bitterly jealous of?
And what about the gym? Stereotypically hot women, like stereotypically hot men, tend to spend time at the gym, maintaining their hotness. It actually takes a certain amount of work.
This being the PurplePillDebate subreddit, the post got a decent amount of pushback from a few feminists and others who are inexplicably patient enough to debate these goobers in the first place. But it also earned praise from other bitter men.
“Every attractive woman I know lives like this lol,” wrote Noble_trader. “Womens currency is attention.”
Alwaysaloneforever97 (I wonder why) added:
The women made it this way by installing the matriarchy.
They basically pit men against each other and reward the winner with sex.
They sit back, get handed millions of dollars by the working class man. And laugh at all the pain and destruction they are causing.
TrueEnoughNewsViews was convinced that somanyshawties was overestimating the effort required to live life in hot girl mode.
This couldn’t be more wrong. It’s way easier than this.
Open an OnlyFans account.
Jab yourself with a dildo for half an hour a day while pretending to be attracted to omega males.
Count your millions.
The critics made more sense.
Silver-Tumbleweed351 noted that
There isn’t anything appealing about the fact that numerous men would happily, selfishly use your body to masturbate with.
The only attention which matters is the attention from someone she’d actually date. You think she cares if a slobbering 55 year old balding man with a bum hip would fuck her given the chance? Or if a depraved, porn sick 19 year old dipshit volunteers to jerk off on her feet?
Is this what men want? The opportunity to be degraded and humiliated?
Gilmoregirlin offered a more realistic take on the daily life of the attractive woman:
Wake up go to work because you never want to rely on a man to support you. At work you are highly educated and good at your job, but people presume you are stupid because of the way you look. Your male co workers and bosses oggle you, they stare at you no matter what you wear. It’s disgusting, you want to vomit. Client’s ask you out, it’s embarrassing you just want to do your job. … You think men are trying to mentor or help you, only to find out their true goal was to sleep with you. When you do get a promotion or a good job, people presume you were hired solely because of the way you look, and that you don’t deserve it.
The women at your job hate you. They do not want you anywhere near their husbands or boyfriends. They presume you are stuck up by the way you look, which is not true.
You walk to work, you are cat called. You ride public transit, men try to speak with you even when you wear huge headphones, excuse me, mam. They get angry when you are not interested. You stop at Target on the way home. Men follow you around the store and hit on you. You are afraid.
You cannot go to a bar alone and even when you go with friends it ends up with men pestering you. You have always been polite, you are never rude, but that just encourages them more. You start to avert your eyes to the ground to avoid making eye contact. …
Being called beautiful from random people or from people on social media does nothing for you because you hear it so much. You want to be recognized for something other than your looks.
You want a relationship, but most men want to sleep with you only because of your looks. Men are afraid to be in a serious relationship with you because they think you will leave them. You sit at home alone a lot, while everyone presumes you are in a relationship. …
You do online dating, you receive 100 messages a day you can barely get through them. 95% of them never even read your profile. You are harassed incessantly. You get follow up emails saying “what do you think you are too good for me you b” multiple times a day, you give up.
You have male friends you thought were legit male friends, and it turns out they were only hanging around looking to sleep with you. You have a hard time making female friends because they are jealous and mean, they never give you a shot.
You have guys hanging around hoping that when you get older and have less choices you will chose them. You don’t because this is not how it works, the men get angry. …
People presume your life is amazing, when deep inside you are hurting and sad.
You are recognized from a young age solely for your looks when you were a child creepy old men said inappropriate things to you and look at your breasts. Teachers cannot focus. You feel dirty. And you are EXTREMELY insecure because you know that your looks will fade, and it’s the only thing you have ever been recognized for. You think you are not attractive. You obsess about every little thing, your hair, your makeup, your clothes. You don’t ever feel good enough.
You are now 45 years old and have put on some weight. You have never been happier to be able to walk alone and not have this fear. People recognize your success for what they are, they don’t presume you are stupid. You have legit male friends, and a lot of female friends. People see you as more than just a pretty face.
You have no clue my friend, no clue.
No clue is putting it mildly.
“gilmoregirl” clapback is very good but not perfect. This chud has no idea what any woman’s life is like, nor the life of anyone but himself, and I ain’t taking bets he’s 100% about his.
Childcare is a full-time job, so she’d have no time to do all that lounging around and being online. I guess if her husband is super-rich, they could have a nanny and maid so she could sleep late. And then go to the gym and the hairdresser and nail salon and makeup place, because “hot” takes upkeep. In my youth, I could have been hot, but didn’t want to do all that. My mother was hot, and she spent sooo much time dealing with it. She didn’t leave the house without makeup, ever, till she went to the nursing home.
Honestly, this sounds like a lot of people’s lives. Other than being hit on all the time, men and women of all levels of attractive live like this. They go to work. They hang with their friends sometimes. They watch TV. Sometimes they have sex. Sounds like the life of most people I know — of any gender, partnered or not.
And yes, eventually many of the hot women (who largely DGAF about how hot others are), marry non-Chads, because they find decent men. So do the non-hot women, even.
But most women get all the bad attention. So many men are complete assholes and are crass to anyone female who isn’t their grandma, eligible for one of those TV shows about super-obese people, or very facially disfigured. And they’re beneath those kinds of women, too. It’s even worse for the hot women.
I too have had extremely hot female friends, but they weren’t jealous, shallow, or hung up on themselves, so I was fine with men’s heads snapping around towards them when we walked into a room. Women need their girl gangs/posses, regardless of what their outsides look like.
@Surplus: definitely wins this thread.
@Crip Dyke: giggle I love you in an entirely non-sexual fashion.
@Carstonio: well said.
@KMB: This!
@CoveredInCatHair (and everyone): If you haven’t read the so wonderful I’m still tearing up “Summer in Orcus” by the fabulous T. Kingfisher/Ursula Vernon, read it now. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll have All The Feels. And Baba Yaga sets the whole thing in motion when her hut walks into the life of a girl with an insecure helicopter mom. Everyone of every age and gender needs to read it. Don’t know if it’s still on her website for free. Actually, everyone should read all her work.
(Okay, I don’t read the horror even though I know her a tiny bit IRL, but she’s cool with that. Because she is an actual woman, not made up in some incel’s head)
Sarah Silverman made a joke this week on “The Daily Show” about Muskrat having his cousin tweak the algorithm so everyone’s forced to see his twits (I paraphrase):
“How can someone who has 8 kids still be an incel?”
@covered in cat hair: I take it the title is Yaga Baba instead of Baba Yaga for a reason? Just curious (also, if pop culture has lied to me and the figure is actually called Yaga Baba instead of Baba Yaga… Well, wouldn’t be the first time I guess).
@ Kimstu
Yes you are right, there definitely can be that kind of resentment (especially when people are young) with some individuals, so I would be wrong to suggest it doesn’t exist entirely. When I was about 14 I remember “the pretty one” in our friendship group being ex-communicated because one other girl – the queen bee – was jealous (I was later given the same treatment for non-specific crimes, haha). We both found our people soon after, as kids generally do, and those friendships are still there two decades later.
But as you and Love is All You Need say, women are generally supportive and good looks are no barrier to friendship, so if a hot girl complains “all women hate me” I have to assume the issue somewhere lies with them.
High school students are awful to each other, but luckily most of them grow up. People in their 20s and 30s are not living in soap operaville, constantly plotting and sniping at each other’s looks.
@Lollypop: Said hot girls are the embodiment of “If you meet an asshole first thing in the morning, you’ve met an asshole. If everyone you meet is an asshole, maybe the problem is you.”
I cannot think of a time when I haven’t found this to be true. Exceptions made for dealing with bureaucracy, of course, because that’s weaponized assholery. And even there you run into people who are kind.
I recently had the doc who thinks he’s god of the ER yell a threat to call the cops on me across the damn ward where everyone could hear. We were 5-10 yd/m apart. I loudly but calmly said, “You do what you want”.
The look on his face was wonderful. A woman who wouldn’t cower! Rest of the staff (women) couldn’t do enough for me after that, he never spoke to me again and I got exactly what I wanted and deserved. Which was, y’know, desperately needed humane treatment. It was a slow Wednesday night, even. And I’d forgotten I was carrying the jacket I got years ago as a police volunteer, which he never saw. When I put it on as I left, I got an extra giggle. Make my day, dude.
Fuck that shrinking violet shit: I’m an old woman who isn’t hot any more and IDGAF. I weaponize my Karen power on behalf of other people who don’t have my privileges. I compliment young girls enthusiastically; I made a bored tween of color smile yesterday at the pharmacy by telling her how much I liked her outfit.
(Not in youth slang, that’s just sad. We were both fine with “cool”.)
This is very animal rightsy.
But what I thought people might find interesting, and of more general applicability, is the research suggesting that, when presented with evidence that conflicts with their existing views, women tend to modify their positions, but men double down.
https://veganfta.com/2023/02/17/is-veganism-led-by-women/
@GSS ex-noob:
But most women get all the bad attention. So many men are complete assholes and are crass to anyone female who isn’t their grandma, eligible for one of those TV shows about super-obese people, or very facially disfigured. And they’re beneath those kinds of women, too.
Not that women who don’t meet the arbitrary standards of conventional attractiveness get spared their commentary, often out passing car windows; cow-calling is as much a thing as cat-calling.
(My own personal favorite, which managed to compress femininity-policing, masculinity-policing, and a side order of implicit transphobia into nine words: “Get your hair cut—you look like a girl!”)