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There’s apparently a new trend on TikTok in which women film and shame guys who stare at or stalk them in the gym. So naturally, the exquisitely sensitive souls of the Men’s Rights subreddit are convinced this is going to happen to them if they happen to so much as glance at a woman at the gym. In a recent thread on the subreddit, a number of these quietly oppressed men shared their thoughts and fears.
GMD3S1GNS started the discussion by asking if there was “anyone else feeling uncomfortable around the gym lately after that latest tik tok trend where girls film themselves to catch any men that glance at them for a second?”
And, oh boy, yes, there were. Indeed, many commenters said they had started working out at home to avoid false accusations from evil, scantily clad women. According to Largest_Half
me and my friend stopped going to the gym and started working out at home instead because women really ruined the environment tbh. It was full of guys and everyone knew everyones name and helped each other out and spotted anytime – we would have so much banter and talk shit with other guys. Then when women came into the gym it sucked – the atmosphere was so fucking tense – you dare not cross eyes with a women because they think you want to fuck them (i most certainly did not want too)
Women have been going to gyms in large numbers for decades; I’m not sure when exactly this all-male utopia was supposed to have existed.
Mgtowolf claimed that he had personally been accused of reckless eyeballing.
Last time I was at they gym, I was just staring into space, doing a breath exercise to slow my heartrate, and some dumb chick comes up bitching about how I was starting at her. I looked her up and down, then laughed in her face. Told her she would have to do a shitton more squats before she had to worry about me staring at her.
Just because someone is lookin in your general direction don’t mean they even notice you are existing over there. Glad I have since built my own gym, don’t gotta worry about other dumbasses messing with my circuits and distracting me.
Kosflo claimed that he had seen these evil TikTokkers in action, filming men with their phones.
Its become so freaking annoying that i have started ruining their recordings intentionally. I will go talk to them, tell them this is bullshit, i will take my phone and get close to them and record them,make noises,sing loud, basically anything just to piss them off. It worked last couple of times. They packed up their phone and left. No respect for morons like that.
The chance that any of this actually happened is well below zero.
Other commenters flatly defended the right to stare. ThrowAway___0000000 got 93 upvotes after boldly declaring:
Here is my take, you feeling uncomfortable is your problem, see a doctor or stay at home or join a female gym or don’t dress half naked (i know it will piss off f_nist, and before you start typing “we are free to wear whatever we want”, men are free to see whatever they want, freedom works both ways, opportunist)
Still others said they couldn’t help but stare, given what women wear to the gym. According to NickTesla2018, presumably not the famous inventor, it’s “hard not to take a quick look when they wear outfits where you can practically see her kidneys?!”
I was not aware that kidney fetishes are a thing.
Various_Interest6877, meanwhile, asserted that
dressing like that is in fact consent for them to be looked at that way and they know it. They just hate that this gives consent to people that they hate.
Another commenter complained that it was hard to resist the temptations of women in sexy, sweaty sports bras.
More than a few claimed that women love the attention–at least from the right guys. “It Is obvious that they crave attention from hyper-chads, followers and those who are willing to pay for subscription,” wrote NoPast, “but they don’t want normal men peeking at them for free.”
Clearly, every attractive woman is an OnlyFans model.
According to mrmensplights,
women really love it … It’s passive attention and validation without any real imposition, who wouldn’t? Women want to post these videos as a flex and to get more attention but they can’t come out and say that in 2023, so they get to have their cake and eat it too by putting it up under the pretense it’s about bad men or hostile gym culture or whatever.
Kojhcd, clearly angry about something, served up a big bowl of word salad:
“gee sure seems like the gym is more like a dance club everyday” duh…. bc the native women don’t want to go thirst trap at some welcome to the neo-“Old world” ethnic tribal territorial showdown between people who look and act like they are from neighbor rival towns recreating their worn out old country scarface fantasy scenes, So the born local women have to go to coffee shops and the gyms, the last safe places where they can have their empowerment delusion and the safety of local born, freedom deprived defeated men to boss babe at . So it is really just their desperation and the related bully urge that ruins everything, takes every space, traps themself as unbearably self absorbed narcs lacking feminity; aka. that which incites male desire. They aren’t worth fighting for, aren’t worth working for, aren’t worth even looking at. That is a pathetic place for women to be at in society. Worthless even in their own transactional behavor model. I didn’t talk to women at the gym overseas, didn’t need to, you just ask them out in public, and they say yes and you get to talk to a human being, not the feminist NPC’s American women are now.
Uh, duly noted, I guess.
Cherubino95’s rant was at least shorter, if nearly as incoherent:
The world is becoming more distopic every day thanks to femminism but, hey, the problem is sex lol. This is what happens when you give power to people that can’t think well, degradation of culture thanks the culture itself.
One Redditor out of the 197 who commented advised everyone to maybe chill out a little. As booksith noted,
One highly publicized incident doesn’t make a trend. There aren’t hoards of women flooding gyms to pretend men are leering at them. Go to the gym and do your thing, you’ll be fine.
They earned themselves twenty net downvotes for this simple observation because evidently there’s some sort of minimum level of hysteria required for every Men’s Rights subreddit post.
@kmb
You’d be surprised how many of the comments end up like that when it comes to dancers or other female dominate performers like that. People really say ballerina should do practice in giant baggy sweat pants and big loose t-shirts.
I’ve also had people get upset by the lack or skin tight clothes I wear while doing Ariel silks. Kind of needed since you know, the silks need to wrap around my body and all.
Apparently yoga pants are “ruining western civilization” now. Who knew?
@ love is all we need
In the past I’ve been involved with Sports England and also their This Girl Can campaign.
From that experience, and meeting some lovely people, I think one type of exclusive session might be for “new to gym” people; of every and all sexes and genders (although I can also see single sex sessions within that scheme).
Every gym I’ve been involved in has always been very welcoming to all-comers; regardless of experience or fitness levels; but I can see why people might still be intimated or a bit uncomfortable at first. The stats back this up.
There have been various studies and surveys done and they all come to the same conclusion. Around 60% of Britons would like to do more exercise; but are put off doing so.
The top two reasons for adults were:
(a) just general fear of exercise and that they might not be capable; and
(b) fear of being judged by fitter people.
For girls there were also a number of other factors in addition: body image issues, hating competitive team sports where there’s an element of inclusion and exclusion ‘making the cut’; sport is for lesbians (seriously, that cropped up in a lot of responses) etc etc.
So sessions where everyone can come along in whatever clothing they feel comfortable in, and work at a pace they find comfortable, might alleviate some of those issues.
That of course is the case with most gyms anyway; but I can see why people might just want a bit of a closed doors intro before stepping into the fray.
(and also learn gym etiquette and the safety rules)
@Elaine
Oh, I’m not surprised at all. I blame the patriarchy those same people so vehemently deny for it. As always, it’s policing of how women look and act. However, I am intrigued. What is Ariel silk? I never heard of this. What is it about? A performance that involves silk I suppose?
I’m lucky enough to have access to an adapted gym at my local leisure centre that usually has only a couple of other people in it, while most people go to the main gym in the swimming pool building. In my experience, nobody is looking at anyone, they’re too busy doing their own thing. I zone out to an audiobook or music. Sometimes the staff are in there doing private sessions with clients. They’re the only people looking at anyone else. I wear a pair of Snag leggings and a t-shirt or vest top. Sometimes my bra or comfort top peaking out. Hardly exciting to anyone, unless you particularly want to know where I get my fabulous underwear.
I’m more of a swimmer than a gym rat, and I definitely wear less. Today I plan to wear a pair of full length swimming leggings and a bikini top that looks like a sports bra. Nobody mentions or looks at people swimming either, except when asked about technique. Although, there are some dodgy swimming shorts out there for men. I swear, there’s an older guy who wears what looks like his pyjama shorts; I would worry they’d slip off or my tackle (if I had dangly bits) would fall out.
@KMB:
Ariel silk? I never heard of this. What is it about? A performance that involves silk I suppose?
My name isn’t Elaine, but aerial silk is an acrobatic sport/art that involves midair suspension from lengths of fabric; you’ll see quite a lot of it in Cirque du Soleil.
Here’s a performance at Göteborg Comic-Con 2019 by Swedish cosplayer and aerialist Mira Valkira:
@ FMO
I love stuff like that. Back in my misspent youth there was a troupe called Skinning the Cat. That was the first time I ever saw aerial silk work. It was mesmerising. Now, I consider myself a pretty good rope climber; but I would have to concede StC won out on the aesthetic front.
The best show they did was at Bradford Wool Exchange (now the world’s most beautiful Waterstones). Had to rig from that roof. The were introduced with “And now a demonstration of aerial elegance; and hopefully, Victorian over-engineering.”
The Royal Marines would argue they were doing it first.
@Alan Robertshaw:
Last video noworky.
Previous to that: wool exchange? Looks like a bookstore in a converted synagogue to me. (Would that have involved any sort of deconsecration? Or is that just a Christian thing?)
@ surplus
You’re not missing much; just some marines dangling from ropes.
The Wool Exchange was quite literally a place for exchanging wool. Well, buying and selling it anyway. The wool trade used to be massive. The reason the speaker of the House of Lords sits on a woolsack is because it used to be our biggest source of foreign exchange.
Where I grew up the local public transport all has ‘Heavy Woollen District’ on it. I like that.
The Piece Hall in nearby Halifax performed a similar function for cloth. That’s a spectacular building too. Apparently it’s featured in some of those Marvel films, so you might have seen it.
@Elaine: I don’t know, if he’s staring at your ass, the back pocket may not work.
But seriously, do record him.
@Alan: I’m not afraid of exercise, I just find it painful and exhausting. Particularly with my long Covid on top of CFS/ME. But I’m old enough that now IDGAF what people think about my body.
If I ever get back to London, I want to go to Wool Waterstone’s.
Aerial silk is beautiful.
Bit more on that Tate fella and his finances.
https://www.theguardian.com/news/2023/feb/11/the-truth-about-andrew-tate-his-home-is-less-hollywood-hideaway-more-rundown-meat-factory
@GSS
Ugh, solidarity 🙁 I have rheumatoid arthritis and asthma and would like to exercise, but most days my joints hurt and then I start choking if I so much as walk uphill. People dis electric scooters, but mine has been a godsend, esp. since I got priced out of the city and have to live in the ‘burbs.
@Alan
Saw that this morning, and no it does not surprise me at all. Behind The Bastards did an extensive thing on Tate, and it’s a general pattern that he’s better at bragging about things than actually doing them. This includes chess and kickboxing as well – he was good at them, but nowhere near the world class he claims.
@Cyborgette: How do you theft-proof that scooter? Or does it fit through your front door so you can just bring it inside to keep it under lock and key?
@Cyborgette: How much did your scooter cost? I do however, have a car we were able to pay cash for thanks to an inheritance, so I’m getting by with that. I can’t fit a week’s shopping into a scooter anyway. But I do currently have a garage with space to secure it.
There’s an event I’m wanting to go to this summer and I am seriously thinking about renting one of those old people scooters at it to get around. It’s all indoors so I don’t need anything street legal and I can pick it up and leave it there (probably taking public transit there anyway and definitely not hauling it around then).
But when downsizing to a condo happens, maybe closer to shops, I’m really going to think about the scooter.
The asthma is new thanks to Covid. I would occasionally have a little trouble breathing at things such as summer in Los Angeles, but now just walking around the house doing light chores takes a couple of different inhalers.
Anyway, as a wheelchair-using activist friend of mine always says on greeting and parting “tiny little crippled hugs” to you. Often involving no more than a pinky-swear shake.
Bit more on Mr Tate.
We have a thing here called PREVENT. That’s a scheme to interdict when young people get caught up in extremism. Before they run off to join ISIS or start a Turner Diaries book club.
But they’ve added Tate content to their list of worrying stuff.
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/feb/12/rapid-rise-in-andrew-tate-related-cases-referred-to-prevent-by-schools
@GSS
Really sorry, I tried to reply and it got eaten! The scooter cost about $900, it’s a Segway Ninebot Max G30LP. Expensive, but I have an IT job and don’t drive, so yeah.
Sympathies again on the disability stuff. Post-COVID asthma is no joke.
@Surplus
I just use a Kryptonite u-lock, and lock it to a bike rack (if there is one) or some other strong vertical thing that’s not too in the way (if there isn’t). Usually the latter, because bike racks are barely a thing in this town for some reason.