I was reminded again today why exactly sex workers aren’t the “solution” for incels, and I thought I’d write a sort of followup to the post I originally wrote on the subject last October.
You can read the full argument there, but the short version is: because sex in itself isn’t really what incels want, and because their bitterness towards women in general and sex workers in particular can lead to abuse. Incels believe they are entitled to sex and to love, and having to pay for sex without love makes them angry; they so denigrate sex workers that they don’t even see sex with them as sex, considering themselves still celibate “escortcels.”
In my previous post on these so-called escortcels, I looked at a “field report” from one incel who wrote about how abusive he had been towards a sex worker whose supposed attitude he didn’t like. The Incels.is post I’m going to look at today comes from another escortcel, one whose main crime isn’t abuse but self-pity. But it also reveals why forcing incels on sex workers isn’t just bad for sex workers; it won’t fix what ails incels.
“I’m done escortcoping,” the man calling himself subhuman writes.
I thought that escortceling would make up for my lack of a sex life. But it’s not the same. And it will never make up for the absence of love in my adolescence.
Incels are convinced that if they don’t have love and sex as an adolescent, their lives will be ruined forever.
A couple months ago I found this girl who is somewhat popular online and escorts UTR [under the radar]. She looks like one of those dumb zoomer white girls you see on tiktok who is young with a tiny waist and disproportionately massive tits. I paid her a little over 3k for the night (if you want to fuck one of those sluts you fap to on social media, pricing starts at like 1k an hour). It was by all accounts a good punt, she was the hottest girl I’ve fucked so far, but it left me deeply embittered and disillusioned with modernity and with escortcoping.
So let’s hear his tale of woe.
I had to treat her to dinner if I booked her for the night so we met up at a restaurant. I let her pick the place – big mistake. The bill was over $200 for the two of us. I try to get to know her during dinner but quickly realized she was some generic bitch with a cookie cutter personality. The only thing these girls know is food, travel, sucking dick, and social media. Out of necessity, I had to talk about myself. I’m sick of myself, but I find these types to be insufferable. I tell her about lookism, and of course she tries to tell me its horseshit, that she has friends that are with guys that she doesnt think is attractive, and that she personally finds intelligence to be the most attractive thing in a man. I didn’t find it convincing.
What a joy it must be to have to endure an incel monologuing about “lookism.” I can only hope for her sake that the food was good.
Eventually I change the subject and start talking about God. I found it amusing to tell this whore about a moral being who is responsible for a world where happiness is conditional on virtue. She wasn’t too enthused about it.
An escortcel lecturing on morality. What a treat.
Then we went back to my hotel and smashed.
I’m going to skip the sordid details here.
It was a consummate experience, and we spent the rest of the time cuddling and making out.
But the experience made me realize that a lack of sex isn’t the reason why I’m unhappy.
A rare moment of self-reflection from an incel.
I don’t even know if sex is a good thing. It turns girls into damaged goods who lose the ability to love. What we really need is love, the path to happiness isn’t sexual consumerism but purity and monogamy. But this is pretty much impossible in this hostile climate of loose morals.
A hateful fuck lecturing about love.
If you didn’t get it as a teenager, JFL it’s over. You could geomax or groommax, but the problem still remains that you spent your teenage years alone.
Get over it.
Escortceling is really quite dogshit, and by partaking in it you aren’t really much better than the whores you’re fucking.
No, you’re far, far worse.
For one, it’s meaningless. You will never have a relationship with these girls, most of the time you just see them once and then never again. And even if you did, they aren’t even capable of love. Two, you are just funding their whore lifestyle by paying them. Like this girl I fucked, she only escorts part time. She uses this money to live a lavish lifestyle and travel the world and have sex with chads for free and without a condom.
If she put up with you, she more than earned her money.
Three, these girls were at one point capable of love, but lost it by having sex with a ton of chads in adolescence (for free). It is kind of infuriating to think these whores used to at least somewhat resemble a human being, and chads in adolescence got to enjoy it while you rotted in your room on your computer.
Get the fuck over it.
Anyway, TLDR I lost my cope and now don’t really know how I’m gonna spend the rest of my life. I don’t really like this world. I don’t particularly enjoy living in it. I guess it doesn’t even matter though, if you miss out on teen love your life is over
If you have that attitude, you’ll never fix your life, whether you pay for sex or get it free. Lack of sex isn’t the problem; you’re the problem.
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Much of the English writing internet seems to skew American-ward no matter which country the website originates in, because Americans (USA-ians) descend upon it with their “universalizing” views. USA media such as films and TV shows over-dramatizes, over-glorifies, over-demonizes, and over-universalizes the American high school experience. Americans themselves buy into this myth-making.
PPBros act like getting a passport is a new thing nobody’s ever done before. For years we Black women in the USA have been travelling to explore the world while being open to romantic possibilities all without having to disparage the names and reputations of Black American men. The reason why #passportbros is such a hit in the Manosphere is because they bash what they call “western women” or “modern women” or “American women” but most specifically “Black American women”. Anyway, just like Roosh was kicked out of and banned from certain countries, it looks like the same thing is happening to ppbros.
My passport gets stamped now when I go to EU countries. It’s another reminder of how Brexit stole a part of my identity. I liked being European; and I didn’t find it in anyway incompatible with being British, English, Yorkshire, Londoner; or any of the other facets of who I was.
Eh, I don’t know. Look at the whole bit about public schools in Great Britain. People brag about going to Eton long after it should matter.
@ Dave
That’s because going to Eton, and some other public schools, gives genuine advantages. You don’t hear so many boasting about going to Cherwell Comprehensive do you?
@ jazzlet
Still one of the best illustrations of the British university class system…
My educational career is one of extremes.
I went to law school at this place. A uni so notorious the Sec State for Education once threatened to close it down because the tutors got into scraps with coppers. Former alumni include Sadiq Khan, current mayor of London and Jeremy Corbyn. He dropped out.
But then I did Bar School here. Former alumni include Gandhi, Margaret Thatcher, and Clement Atlee.
If I’m with posh people I may casually drop in I went to ICSL. But if I want them to hand over their wallets I mention UNL.
Due to a subsequent series of mergers I’m now an alumni of at least three universities I never actually attended. Doesn’t stop them asking me for money though.
There is though, as Jazzlet points out, a very serious side to this.
We’re currently having a debate at the Bar about this.
https://www.legalfutures.co.uk/latest-news/accent-bias-still-holding-back-regional-barristers-research-finds
My contribution is to say Ee ba gum and ‘appen a lot.
I do code switch my accent though. In London I played up the straight talking northerner thing. It was sort of my USP. Although in Snaresbrook Crown Court I used my London accent. I sounded like I was auditioning for The Sweeney; but it’s that sort of a court. In regional courts I do use my slightly posher voice. There’s this thing about ‘proper London counsel’.
Talking class and schools now are we?
“Ee ba gum”?
And I’m somewhat surprised that attending any public school would confer any sort of advantages (other than compared to being a dropout, of course). That sort of thing usually goes with expensive, exclusive private schools, Ivy League universities, and of course being inducted into the “good old white boys’ network” in one or more of these types of places. Sure, some public schools are better than others (generally, the whiter ones in the wealthier suburbs), but I’ve not heard of any lasting reputational benefit to having been at one of these. Actual educational benefit maybe, but these days that seems to matter less and less and knowing the right people seems to matter more and more, and that typically means private school.
(Here in Canada there’s an added complicating wrinkle because we have an assortment of both secular public schools and Catholic schools, but I doubt that matters much outside of the Catholic religio-sphere, where having gone to the latter probably would be important if seeking a career as, say, a bishop or something. If you’re aiming at upper management in a telco or becoming a structural engineer, either it doesn’t matter or there’d be a small advantage to going to a school whose science teacher actually believes in science. Dwarfed by the subsequent effects of university choice, performance there, and Canada’s homegrown good old white boys’ network.)
@Surplus to Requirements:
Welcome to another installment of Separation By A Common Language! On Alan’s side of the pond, the term for government-run schools is “state schools”; “public schools” are the posh kind you have to pay or earn a scholarship to attend.
@ surplus
Over here ‘Public School’ is what everyone else calls private school.
*Taps Lectern*
In t’olden days, schools were associated with things like particular churches, military regiments, or guilds. So only the children of people who were members of that church, regiment, or profession could attend them.
Eventually though people cottoned on that there was money to be made in education. So they opened schools that were open to the children of any member of the public; so long as they could afford the fees.
Hence ‘public’ school.
ETA: What you call public schools, we call state schools. Although some of those are still associated with particular churches. I went to catholic school for example.
EETA: Ninja’d by FMO
Dang it, I did too many edits again and it now says it’s spam.
David, please fish it out of the filter?
Well, since I still seem to be trapped in the spam filter, I’d just like to agree with @Covered in Cat Hair that this woman is an excellent escort, and deserves every penny she earned putting up with this loser, which she isn’t going to do again. She also deserves all the Chads she can find.
I didn’t get a date till after I was 18, and I was a conventionally cute girl with good grooming, nice clothes, conversational skills etc. But then high school wasn’t the be-all and end-all of my life, even when I was in it, and my family loved me and I had plenty of friends and activities.
$3K would have bought this loser a lot of psychiatric help, but then he’d have to do something other than whine.
Yeah that’s true, though I think of that more of a “I’m very rich and my dad knows the King” flex. Eton is tiny too, its capacity is like 1300 kids (which demonstrates the vast inequality inherent in its influence, of course)
@Surplus
And where I live, private schools have a rather mixed rep for sometimes being genuinely bad. There was a stir a couple years ago because a whole year didn’t manage to get what is our equivalent of a high school diploma since the quality of the classes was so bad. There also aren’t many private universities. I can’t even name one off the top of my head. “Elite” universities are decided by factors like quality of teaching, research projects, etc., but they are still state universities anyone can go to, and they can gain and lose the status as well. They also don’t have exorbitant fees. I went to one of them. Think my entire fees were less than 5000€. Honestly, to me that’s far better than any private university bullshit the Anglosphere has…
@ Alan Robertshaw
Hell yes 😀
Ah UNL, Mr J spent a couple of years doing research there early in our relationship. He got free accomodation in return for being a warden at Tufnall Park hall of residence, which resulted in many, many stories. Like the time a student approached the group of four wardens in their accustomed spot at one end of the bar, worried as he had swallowed some chewing gum. Somehow he had manged to reach “adulthood” without hearing the myth that swallowing gum would kill you, and having been told he would now die by his fellow students was concerned enough to interupt his game of pool to ask the “responsible” adults if this was true. The three male wardens all gleefully said variations on “of course it’s true, you’re going to die!”, the female warden said “don’t be silly, of course you won’t die” which I reinforced. However the student was not sufficiently reassured, after the bar closed he came to the warden’s flat worried because he could “feel the gum in my throat!” He was going to die!! The wardens all told him to stop being a baby, of course he wasn’t going to die, the gum had just bruised his throat a little which was why he could still “feel” it, go to bed he’d be fine in the morning. He went away, but didn’t go to bed, he was still so worried he went to A&E, where they gave him very short shrift.
As well as seeing Mr J I used my visits to go to the Fantasy Centre on Holloway Road, I still have many books I found there. Happy days.
Having been born and brought up in an Oxford academic household my “family” accent is considered pretty posh by many, but I’ve been moving north all my life (slooooowly) and the family now remark on my “northern accent”, because I say things like “grass” properly.
@ Jazzlet
I loved my time at UNL; so many memories. It was quite a place wasn’t it?
The law school was in that old shoe factory on Highbury Fields. That was a lovely spot.
Now the uni has all its new posh big glass buildings they’ve sold that; and it’s now some trendy film school.
But I whiled away many happy hours in that basement bar. I can still smell the weed and subsidised beer!
When was Mr J there? Did he know Cliff Snaith? He was such a lovely chap. One of my favourite tutors. He sadly passed away a few years ago. For his funeral they organised a protest march. That’s such a UNL thing to do.
https://www.londonmetunison.org.uk/2015/12/cliff-snaiths-final-march/
A certain commentator here proudly identifies as a “class warrior”. But she pronounces it ‘claaas’. Which I say doesn’t count.
I obviously won’t name her; but you know who you are! 😉
Repeating myself: escorts can’t help them because what they want is the confirmation of their worth being able to ‘get a girlfriend’ (without paying) they think would give them. Paying for companionship only confirms that they can’t get it without, and at least they’re awake enough to know that just having money doesn’t mean you’re someone of value….
Sex workers might not be the solution for incels. But where there sex work is legal and widely available, there are few incels. Explain that!
@ Alan Robertshaw
I think Mr J would have been there September 1986 to sometime in 1987, he was doing transport research, and doesn’t remember encountering Cliff Snaiths. Mr J has been a public transport person all his life, in particular a bus enthusiast, and has worked in three different Passenger Transport Executives. As is usual we came back from our most receent holiday with as many photos of buses – nearly all of the number 15s from Perth to Comrie/St Fillan – as of anything else. There was one photo of a red squirrel! And one of where a red squirrel had been seconds before 😀
@ jazzlet
Did Mr J ever go to the Transport Museum at Covent Garden?
As a bit of a Tube nerd, I love that place. They have the simulators they train the drivers on. It’s really flipping hard. On my best attempt I managed to get 2/3rds of the train lined up with the platform. I was all chuffed with myself; but then we rolled out of the station backwards cause I’d forgotten to put the brake on.
Mr J might like Jago Hazzard and Geoff Marshall on Youtube if he isn’t already a fan.
@ jazzlet
Oh dear, you’ve sent me on a London Undeground geek out :-D. Still, I suspect you might be used to public transport fanboying.
But to drop some trivia, so people can
bore to tearsfascinate their friends on trips to London.1. London Underground stations are built on plateaus. So trains always arrive going uphill and leave going downhill. That’s so they can slow down and accelerate faster. But that’s also why even the best drivers can roll back out of them.
2. My fave station is West Ashfield. It’s not actually real; but a fully working replica of a real one they use to train staff. What I especially like is it’s on the third floor of an office building.
3. Speaking of stories. All Tube stations are 15 stories underground. Not really of course, but it’s a little TFL in-joke.
You are right that sex work isn’t a solution for some incels, although it can be beneficial for men who aren’t in a relationship but still desire intimacy. The type of men who aren’t going to be posting hateful content on incel forums and therefore have no real visibility. It is important to realize that the hateful incels on forums are not representative of every guy who isn’t in a intimate relationship or may have trouble finding one, they are simply the most visible.
@ Alan Robertshaw
I don’t know if he’s been to Covent Garden Transport Museum, he does go to transport museums when he’s near one so it’s likely. In fact he is a volunteer at Manchester Transport Museum, which despite the name isn’t really a general transport museum as the collection is almost entirely buses. And yes I am used to transport geeking out, we’re part of a group of friends that go on holiday together at least once a year that has at least two other bus nuts and a train nut, add in the transport planners . . .