I was reminded again today why exactly sex workers aren’t the “solution” for incels, and I thought I’d write a sort of followup to the post I originally wrote on the subject last October.
You can read the full argument there, but the short version is: because sex in itself isn’t really what incels want, and because their bitterness towards women in general and sex workers in particular can lead to abuse. Incels believe they are entitled to sex and to love, and having to pay for sex without love makes them angry; they so denigrate sex workers that they don’t even see sex with them as sex, considering themselves still celibate “escortcels.”
In my previous post on these so-called escortcels, I looked at a “field report” from one incel who wrote about how abusive he had been towards a sex worker whose supposed attitude he didn’t like. The Incels.is post I’m going to look at today comes from another escortcel, one whose main crime isn’t abuse but self-pity. But it also reveals why forcing incels on sex workers isn’t just bad for sex workers; it won’t fix what ails incels.
“I’m done escortcoping,” the man calling himself subhuman writes.
I thought that escortceling would make up for my lack of a sex life. But it’s not the same. And it will never make up for the absence of love in my adolescence.
Incels are convinced that if they don’t have love and sex as an adolescent, their lives will be ruined forever.
A couple months ago I found this girl who is somewhat popular online and escorts UTR [under the radar]. She looks like one of those dumb zoomer white girls you see on tiktok who is young with a tiny waist and disproportionately massive tits. I paid her a little over 3k for the night (if you want to fuck one of those sluts you fap to on social media, pricing starts at like 1k an hour). It was by all accounts a good punt, she was the hottest girl I’ve fucked so far, but it left me deeply embittered and disillusioned with modernity and with escortcoping.
So let’s hear his tale of woe.
I had to treat her to dinner if I booked her for the night so we met up at a restaurant. I let her pick the place – big mistake. The bill was over $200 for the two of us. I try to get to know her during dinner but quickly realized she was some generic bitch with a cookie cutter personality. The only thing these girls know is food, travel, sucking dick, and social media. Out of necessity, I had to talk about myself. I’m sick of myself, but I find these types to be insufferable. I tell her about lookism, and of course she tries to tell me its horseshit, that she has friends that are with guys that she doesnt think is attractive, and that she personally finds intelligence to be the most attractive thing in a man. I didn’t find it convincing.
What a joy it must be to have to endure an incel monologuing about “lookism.” I can only hope for her sake that the food was good.
Eventually I change the subject and start talking about God. I found it amusing to tell this whore about a moral being who is responsible for a world where happiness is conditional on virtue. She wasn’t too enthused about it.
An escortcel lecturing on morality. What a treat.
Then we went back to my hotel and smashed.
I’m going to skip the sordid details here.
It was a consummate experience, and we spent the rest of the time cuddling and making out.
But the experience made me realize that a lack of sex isn’t the reason why I’m unhappy.
A rare moment of self-reflection from an incel.
I don’t even know if sex is a good thing. It turns girls into damaged goods who lose the ability to love. What we really need is love, the path to happiness isn’t sexual consumerism but purity and monogamy. But this is pretty much impossible in this hostile climate of loose morals.
A hateful fuck lecturing about love.
If you didn’t get it as a teenager, JFL it’s over. You could geomax or groommax, but the problem still remains that you spent your teenage years alone.
Get over it.
Escortceling is really quite dogshit, and by partaking in it you aren’t really much better than the whores you’re fucking.
No, you’re far, far worse.
For one, it’s meaningless. You will never have a relationship with these girls, most of the time you just see them once and then never again. And even if you did, they aren’t even capable of love. Two, you are just funding their whore lifestyle by paying them. Like this girl I fucked, she only escorts part time. She uses this money to live a lavish lifestyle and travel the world and have sex with chads for free and without a condom.
If she put up with you, she more than earned her money.
Three, these girls were at one point capable of love, but lost it by having sex with a ton of chads in adolescence (for free). It is kind of infuriating to think these whores used to at least somewhat resemble a human being, and chads in adolescence got to enjoy it while you rotted in your room on your computer.
Get the fuck over it.
Anyway, TLDR I lost my cope and now don’t really know how I’m gonna spend the rest of my life. I don’t really like this world. I don’t particularly enjoy living in it. I guess it doesn’t even matter though, if you miss out on teen love your life is over
If you have that attitude, you’ll never fix your life, whether you pay for sex or get it free. Lack of sex isn’t the problem; you’re the problem.
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Isn’t the whole point of the Book of Job that it isn’t?
I’m long out of fucks to give for these tossers. What, they were the first guys to spend a Saturday night alone in high school? No one ever got turned down for a date before this lightweight?
With these wankers in charge, the human race would never have learned to walk upright. I never read about one trying to survive on a low-paying job and pay for a family. And you’ll never read about one of them doing something worthwhile for another human being, let. alone for society at large. Self-pity and resentment are the only two settings for these nimrods. They are the essence of uselessness.
I spent my teen years without romance, let alone sex. I was shy and awkward and didn’t know I was gay. I reread my diary from the time and I was very sad and lonely. Then I got out of high school, came out, and got into therapy. High school is not all that important.
The importance these people put on teen romance is insane. I partially blame the media, but at a certain point it’s the incels’ fault for continuing to believe the nonsense and for refusing to get help for their emotional problems. Indeed, they demonize therapy. They want to be miserable. They wallow in it. And they want to take everyone else down with them.
(The Bible absolutely does not teach that happiness is conditional on virtue. Jesus himself can be used as an example)
Why are these guys so obsessed with teenage romance. Like looking back the awkward flirting and fooling around makes me cringe. I’m glad I didn’t go further before my 20s, because it would have been boring and lousy and someone probably would have gotten hurt, and just… IDK what these men think they’re missing? The way they talk, you’d think angels descend from heaven with wheelbarrows full of fresh baked pies whenever two teenagers fuck.
@ cyborgette
Were that the case I would be going around saying “you two make a lovely couple”.
Their real problem is they don’t have any friends. Why haven’t the MRAs, who claim to be so concerned about male suffering, created communes for them?
This guy doesn’t want sex, love or therapy. He wants everyone to pity him as much as he pities himself, plus a time machine. However, even if he got a chance to relive his misspent youth, he hasn’t learned anything useful since then, so he’d probably make things worse for himself.
When you’ve built your entire identity around your victimhood of ‘being unloved’, it gets harder to leave the cult of hate you’ve voluntarily joined. It has become your personality. So, of course, you don’t want to lose the only thing you know.
Even if these guys found someone to love them, the would ruin the relationship because otherwise they would have no defining victimhood. There is no reasoning with these guys. They need to be put throught anti cult programming.
Now I imagine the story from the sex worker’s point of view. It probably starts with: “I had the worst client ever last night, he kept criticizing everything…”
I may be completely wrong and obviously incel philosophy is global, but this kind of high-school, teenage focus seems to be a particularly US-based phenomenon, or at least has its roots there? I don’t know fully but as an outsider it’s like school experiences and hierarchy seems to bleed into adult life a lot more. Someone I know from the US still talks with real rancour about not being invited to parties as a teenager, and she’s thirty-five years old.
@LollyPop You have a point. I went to a Catholic high school that was all-male at the time. As a weirdo with then-undiagnosed autism, I didn’t have much of a social life. On prom night, my parents took me out to eat. I’m grateful they did, because that was the best option for everyone involved.
“Where happiness is conditional on virtue” but it sounds like the escort was a lot happier than the escortcel; what conclusions does he draw from that, other than resenting her for it?
Get over it indeed. My peers made my life a living hell, and while I have far too many problems to be considered fine, I at least don’t take it out on people who got nothing to do with it. Or even those who do, since not wanting to see them ever again is quite a lot higher on my laundry list. I also found a partner and friends later on, so claiming that it ruins your entire life to just not have sex or romance is utter garbage and an insult to people who actually did suffer abuse in their youths and just want to live their lives now.
I don’t know how I’ll spend the rest of my life either. Guess I’ll take it one step at a time, the way I’ve lived my life up until now.
Yeah, this world is really challenging. Jerks like you make it even more challenging. I try to keep my sense of humor about your kind though.
And life is even more challenging when your online “friends” tell you, repeatedly, that you should commit suicide.
Your premise is flawed. Laughably flawed. But I guess that any premise will do if it means you don’t have to do the work of becoming an adult and taking on all the challenges it entails.
Speaking of Incel types, a couple of my LawTube friends have done a thing on why Andrew Tate and his bro are still locked up. They’ve got an actual Romanian lawyer to explain the details.
I suspect that the reason for their focus on high school is that it was their only chance to legally have sex with an underage girl, with all the yech that implies about their adult attitudes and desires.
This twit does not seem to realize that he hired a competent whore. The dinner was for her to get the measure of the man, his likes and dislikes, and what would probably please him in bed.
“ quickly realized she was some generic bitch with a cookie cutter personality. The only thing these girls know is food, travel, sucking dick, and social media.”
That is what a lot of men want, someone totally undemanding, someone the client could project his fantasies on. She would certainly NOT talk politics, world event, even favourite movies, but would be tailoring her conversation to what he brought up. Also she would tailor the conversation on what he showed was his education and intelligence level.
It seems she was successful in that….
@happy cat: “Now I imagine the story from the sex worker’s point of view. It probably starts with: “I had the worst client ever last night, he kept criticizing everything…”
Yes, I noticed his particular gripe about
Uh, there’s a reason that escorts who’ve been out with you once don’t want to see you again, even if you pay them well, and it’s not because they’re escorts.
Plenty of sex workers form ongoing relationships of one sort or another with long-term clients (although no client should demand that or consider themselves entitled to it); some of them even marry clients.
The reason that none of them ever want to consider that option in your case is that you’re a hateful, bitter, misogynistic shit.
I agree that the utterly pointless view that adolescence is the pinnacle of life’s experiences is completely daft and most likely the reason why these gits are so miserable.
They should look at the whole range of activities of adulthood that you develop as a child and teenager. The littlies need floaters to safely practise elementary water skills and safety. The adult level of skill is all those fairly risky things like diving from the high platform or waterskiing tricks or surfing at those seriously challenging beaches around the world.
In between those young novices and skilled adults are the teenagers. Having fun with silly water games which appear to nonparticipating observers to consist of splashing. Or. Taking the ambition to move into high levels of competition or display, a lot of teenagers move into the commitment and occasional tedium of accumulating those 10000 hours required for genuine expert accomplishment.
Setting everyone else’s’OMG I just want to get through this’ teenage years into their be all and end all is inviting disaster and, as we see these guys twisting on the end of ropes they knotted themselves, rapid onset of depression and misery.
I’m assuming that the ones lamenting their teenage years are themselves still close to those years? Like maybe 20-25 years old at most? Usually by mid twenties “the good ‘ol days” (or bad in this case) memories of high school fade as one begins to live an adult life and create new memories. Ruminating seems to be a major issue with incels. Over and over and over again. These guys need to get outside and get their hands in the soil.
Since when is travel “cookie cutter” and “generic”? (Unless of course you’re a #passport bro). Usually when someone tells you they travel you ask where and what cultures they’ve been exposed to, languages they may have picked up, how did they find it, etc. Travel is one of the most interesting topics of conversation. He’s just a bad conversationalist. A common theme in the Manosphere is women travelling and how they shouldn’t. They say men have reasons to travel but women don’t. A woman should spend her entire life in the place she was born, not even explore her own country. Some of them lament the attractive young woman who posts her travel photos on Instagram. They say, “how can we compete with that? We can’t give her any experience that she hasn’t had already. And we can’t afford to support that lifestyle”. Instead of going out, living life and making new memories beyond high school, they are online watching women do just that and it eats them up inside.
One of the reasons why I (mostly) enjoyed my time as a sex worker is because I am able to have sex without emotional attachments. Not everyone can do that, and not everyone who can do that wants to.
That does not mean I (or any other current/former sex worker) can’t love. I’ve had multiple romantic relationships since then (and one before), some long-lasting. There are most likely highly aromantic sex workers, and they weren’t ever going to have lasting romance-based relationships regardless of whether they were sex workers or not. And some sex workers do get PTSD from their work if they had some tramatizing experiences, but AFIK that only “damages their ability to love” in the sense that it can make relationships more difficult unless/until they recover from that PTSD… but ability to have relationships is not the same as the ability to love, particularly since are plenty of people who are incompetent at relationships without having complicating situations like sex-involved PTSD. Of course being unable to separate sex and love while being in a situation where you’re essentially forced to can be traumatizing in itself, which is why I’m against any sort of economy where people are often forced to take jobs which they are physically and/or psychologically unsuited to.
This type of attitude isn’t so much projection (though projection can be involved as well, sometimes) as it is over-generalization of things which they don’t understand to begin with.
@Love is All We Need:
Usually when someone tells you they travel you ask where and what cultures they’ve been exposed to, languages they may have picked up, how did they find it, etc. Travel is one of the most interesting topics of conversation.
Although there are people who treat the globe as their personal theme park, and the quaint and exotic locals as The Help.
They say men have reasons to travel but women don’t. A woman should spend her entire life in the place she was born, not even explore her own country. Some of them lament the attractive young woman who posts her travel photos on Instagram. They say, “how can we compete with that? We can’t give her any experience that she hasn’t had already. And we can’t afford to support that lifestyle”
That, and I suspect the further fear is that a woman traveling will have been sampling the exotic charms of foreign Chadskis, Achmeds, Tyrones, and Changs.
You know—behaving like a Passport Bro.
@oncewasmagnificent
I’ve seem a few of them point to high school / college raunch comedies as one of the roots of their attitude. I personally saw some of those when I was a teenager, and my take on them was “this is not funny. It’s terrible.” I was thankful to have not experienced a real-life version of those things. Of course I wasn’t the target audience for those movies; they’re a fantasy for highly immature (generally but not exclusively younger) men.
I don’t know how common that is to have something like that as a “root”, but taking a fantasy as an ideal (even subconsciously) rarely goes well for anyone, even when the fantasy is otherwise non-problematic.
And there’s a hint right there as to why: they don’t have the money. Most people don’t anymore, not since the banksters decided that henceforth the good-paying jobs would be restricted to a dwindling subset of people whose parents had good jobs and who know people who know people.
This doesn’t excuse bitter jealousy or misogyny in response, of course.
In this life, no. It does seem to posit that happiness in the next life is conditional on virtue in this one.
Not to be outdone, the philosophers of the far east came up with the obvious generalization, that happiness in life n + 1 is conditional on virtue in life n, for all n.
Communes? Communes? MRAs are deathly allergic to even trace quantities of socialism, as with right-whingers in general.