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Alpha males lose it over lesbian feminist M&Ms

Earlier this week, the Mars corporation set off another culture war skirmish by launching a new, all-female package of M&Ms as a way of showing some sort of candy-related solidarity with the women of the world. “We’re celebrating women who are flipping the status quo, transforming the world around them to make it a more colorful and welcoming place for all,” the company declared.

They also released a picture of two of the lady M&Ms holding hands, which could only mean one thing: LESBIAN FEMINIST candy!

Naturally, the folks at Fox News were outraged.

https://twitter.com/leash_kid_/status/1613243357878439936

As was this famous ALPHA MALE (who I’m half convinced is a parody).

But no one was quite so angered by the lesbian separatist M&Ms as the alpha males in the Antifeminist subreddit.

“Flipping the status quo?” asked Forcetobereckonedwit.

Oh, you mean like getting those empowered wimminz out on the power poles in winter, at night, when the storms knock out the juice to a whole neighborhood? Yah .. I didn’t think so.

“Ah yes, doing anything to push the agenda onto kids who’s beliefs are malleable,” wrote the appropriately named Giga_mad69. “Seriously fuck the people trying to indoctrinate this kind of stuff into the youth, I hope they rot.”

“I’d rather support women by not encouraging even more of them to become overweight or obese by eating candy. 73% are, last I read,” wrote OkraGarden.

Just for the record, 68% of American women are overweight or obese, as compared to 77% of men.

The maddest of the lot was a fellow called username2136

Oh you want to flip the status quo huh? I bet you wouldn’t be saying that if you suddenly have to:

Work full time on a back breaking job where you are constantly getting yelled at by your boss over stupid shit.

Come home to a husband who only had to take a couple hours of his day to clean the house with nothing stopping him from listening to music or his favorite podcasts and plays video games afterwards.

Said husband constantly bitches about you needing to do your “fair share” of the housework after you are already exhausted from work or any other stupid nitpick like your boss already does.

Said husband rubs further salt in the wound by saying that you are a worthless piece of shit or that you are nothing but a “woman-child” or just straight up beats you if you tell him to go fuck himself and his stupid demands. Doing so knowing you won’t fight back because he will tell the cops that you were the instigator and they will believe him without question because that is what they are trained to do under the Duluth Model.

Have fun with that!

Q: How many antifeminist Redditors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: THAT’S NOT FUNNY!

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Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

@ surplus

If there ever were pogroms here

Our illustrious Home Secretary will probably beat you to it.

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Surplus to Requirements
Surplus to Requirements
2 years ago

And, of course, there have been pogroms here in the past, against the native population. So, amend that to if there are ever again pogroms here …

Ada Christine
Ada Christine
2 years ago

according to the Southeast Lineman Training Center, 14.3% of electrical lineworkers are women. i’m sure there are many more women who want to do this job but don’t because of social causes rather than anything innate about gender. recall that “traditonally male” jobs are frequently gatekept and prevent women from joining the ranks or bully them into leaving through varying means.

Ada Christine
Ada Christine
2 years ago

also, isn’t Mars being sued for not vetting cocoa suppliers for their use of child and slave labor? good going conservatives for taking the bait and being mad about the thing for the wrong reason and showing your own ass and distracting everybody from the fact that this company probably knowingly did an evil thing.

Tony Seybert
Tony Seybert
2 years ago

What better way to show you’re an alpha male than by adopting dumb divisive talking points being promoted by Putin’s American operatives?

Surplus to Requirements
Surplus to Requirements
2 years ago

They’re conservatives. They’re probably complicit, not oblivious.

Dave
Dave
2 years ago

also, isn’t Mars being sued for not vetting cocoa suppliers for their use of child and slave labor? good going conservatives for taking the bait and being mad about the thing for the wrong reason and showing your own ass and distracting everybody from the fact that this company probably knowingly did an evil thing.

Yes, they are. I would have said that M&M purposefully wanted to create the distraction, but it turns out the picture Tucker is mad about is from seven years ago. So it’s not Mars trying to distract from slave labor. It’s Fox News trying to distract from Republican incompetence in the House by starting a new moral crisis to complain about. Mars is just getting some useful fake feminist cred in Fox’s slipstream.

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
2 years ago

No longer bread and circuses, now it’s candy and Fox “news”.

Mars is crying all the way to the bank. Use some pinkwashing, get plenty of free advertising from Fox, hide your use of child slave labor. All by putting some different artificial color in your product and drawing another cartoon. Evil genius.

My post that got eaten earlier suggested coming up with MAGA chocolate. Use African child slaves, the worst quality beans, mostly vegetable oil instead of cocoa butter, corn syrup rather than sugar, in a factory (with even worse conditions than most) in some red state. Wrap it all in the flag, call it “PATRIOT CHOCOLATE”, overprice it, advertise on FB, Twit, and Troof Antisocial. Profit! Extra points for making it into a pyramid scheme.

If only I had capital and no morals…

Uh-oh, Mango Mussolini and his pals are going to do this, aren’t they?!

@Alan: A bon mot!

@GI Joel: I really like that at a quick glance, the license plate in the first pic appears to read “B BYE”. Yep, say b’bye to all that, Tater.

I think they’ve confiscated even more of his stuff, particularly the cars. Greta must be vastly amused. He tries to attack her by bragging about his cars, and almost immediately loses them all. I’m sure they’re sitting in some dingy, drafty warehouse, with all the bits slowly deteriorating. Kinda like him!

There’s no comfy prison (maybe the Club Fed that rich white guys occasionally go to), and maybe I’m influenced by movies and TV, but I imagine jails in a former Soviet-bloc country formerly under a super-totalitarian dictator are really no fun. Who knows, they’ve modernized a lot in the last 35 years, so maybe they’re not complete hellholes now like they were back in the day.

Their prison transport sure looked like Tater was sitting in a random chair (or toilet) in the back of a panel van. A big step down from the Ferraris and Lambos.

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
2 years ago

Does Tuckie eat green M&Ms while he tans his taint?

I wouldn’t be surprised.

The Phantom Cheese, Wearer of Problem Glasses
The Phantom Cheese, Wearer of Problem Glasses
2 years ago

@ GSS ex-noob:

It’s a minor point, but I just checked FDA regulations and chocolate has to be at least 18% cocoa butter or it can’t legally be called chocolate. Hence all the cheap candy out there labeled “chocolateY”.

Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

American chocolate supposedly isn’t as nice as European chocolate. I appreciate these are matters of personal taste; although I would tend to agree. Generally though you can’t buy European chocolate retail in the US as Hershey bought all the US rights to companies like Cadbury so they could choose to not sell it.

But it appears Hershey should be your chocolate of choice if you’re deficient in lead and cadmium…

https://www.classaction.org/media/lazazzaro-v-the-hershey-company.pdf

Crip Dyke
2 years ago

My favourite chocolate is Blanxart. Offices in Barcelona, but I understand it’s either originally from the north or the people who started it were Basque or something? In any case, In the USA there’s a large Basque diaspora population in Idaho, and they consider Blanxart their own community’s chocolate. So when I had friends in Boise, I would go to the Basque store every once in a while and found this chocolate there and got completely addicted. It’s marvellous.

Daecon
Daecon
2 years ago

They’re not holding hands. They’re just sitting near each other. Look at the arms. Brown’s arms are much larger than Green’s. Brown is just sitting with her hands folded and Green’s right arm is hidden.

Battering Lamb
Battering Lamb
2 years ago

Off topic, but a while back one of us mammotheers posted a link to a resource about the specific numbers regarding rape and sexual assault cases. Specifically, how most violent cases involved people the victim knew and how most cases involving complete strangers involved roofies, for instance. I read it, but forgot to bookmark it, and I can’t find it (honestly, I don’t know what article it was under). Could someone share it again? Apologies for the inconvenience.

LollyPop
LollyPop
2 years ago

Come home to a husband who only had to take a couple hours of his day to clean the house with nothing stopping him from listening to music or his favorite podcasts and plays video games afterwards.

Do they want women to be stay-at-home wives or not?? I also feel this person has never done the full domestic work of two people if they think a couple of hours a day covers it. Between getting up in the morning to make that hard-working, alpha hubby his coffee and breakfast, making his lunch, washing up, picking his clothes off the floor, washing clothes, drying clothes, hanging and folding clothes, hovering, tidying, dusting, cleaning surfaces, meal planning, shopping, cooking and life admin you have at least a full-time job, and that’s before any kids come along. I honestly would LOVE to have a stay-at-home partner in the idealised fifties mould. What a load off that would be!

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
2 years ago

@Alan:
It used to be a semi-regular thing at Science Fiction conventions that a group of Canadians attending conventions in the U.S. would bring the Canadian versions of chocolate bars across the border for room parties to share with the Americans. Because some of the mass-market chocolate bars were significantly different across the border (even if marketed with the same name), even beyond the fact that the Canadian bars usually used cane sugar rather than corn syrup. For example, the American ‘Mars’ bar has almonds, while the Canadian one doesn’t. And ‘Coffee Crisp’ is a Canadian-only thing.

Me, I’m kind of spoiled, because there’s a place called ‘Soma Chocolatemaker’ here in Toronto that does their own small-batch chocolates. They call themselves a ‘chocolate maker’ rather than a ‘chocolatier’ because they do full bean-to-bar production, and have a lot of bars which are practically the chocolate version of a single malt scotch: take the beans from one particular plantation and work with it, rather than trying to ‘standardize’ the flavour by mixing various beans. They even do what they call an ‘Old School’ bar which is pretty much hand-ground; it’s a bit gritty and almost cookie-like.

For Easter they provide what they call the ‘Cutest Bunny Ever’:
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Jazzlet
Jazzlet
2 years ago

@ Jenora Feuer

If we’re talking chocolate bunnies they may well be right, that is a very cute bunny.

Nequam
Nequam
2 years ago

FWIW, as with American beer, American chocolate is usually best if you find the small-batch companies.

The trick is finding ones who don’t charge $8 for a 3oz bar….

Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

@ jenora, jazzlet, & nequam

I can’t get over how sweet American food is. Even the purportedly savoury stuff. The beans taste like blooming treacle sponge. But, to me, US chocolate tastes like the stuff you get with those chocolates that look like tools.

That is a cute bun though; reminds me of this chap.

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Trying
Trying
2 years ago

Any thoughts on reports that the Idaho shooter was an incel?

Dalillama
Dalillama
2 years ago

@Alan
That’s a pretty universal complaint about American food IME. The reasons have to do with massive maize subsidies that make corn syrup absurdly cheap, interactions of fructose with metabolic satiety receptors, and automobile-focused infrastructure

Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

@ dali

Yeah, corn is one of the three Federally guaranteed crops (along with soy and rice). So you can sell a successful harvest at market rates, but if the crop fails the Govt pay you anyway. 97% of subsidies go on those three crops. So it’s perhaps unsurprising that only 3% of US agriculture is other fruit and veg.

But like you say, the Govt then has to get rid of it somehow. Look at some of the terms of NAFTA and what happened in Mexico.

Jazzlet
Jazzlet
2 years ago

@ Alan Robertshaw

Now that is a cute real bunny, real bunnies win every time 🙂

Yes, in my limited experience American food is extremely sweet, and recipes I’vee looked at put sugar in all sorts of things that really do not need it. You’re right about the chocolate too, I remember being excited to try a Hershey bar when we were in the USA when I was a child, and being soooooo disappointed. And with M&Ms, so little chocolate, so much candy coating. *ponders putting in a Hotel Choclate order*

Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

@ jazzlet

real bunnies win every time

Heh, when I get those Easter chocolate bunnies I always feel so guilty about eating them. I mean, where do you start? Bite off their ears! I’m not sure what it says about me that I’ll happily scarf down Jelly Babies.

*ponders putting in a Hotel Choclate order*

Yeah. This thread has got me thinking a trip to St Ives might have to be in order.

https://cornwallschocolatecove.com/