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abuse incels misogyny sex workers

Why sex workers aren’t the “solution” for incels

Here’s a hint

Once in a while, someone will step forward with what they see as a “solution” for incels: hire sex workers to take care of their celibacy, the root cause of their hatred and bitterness.

There are numerous problems with this formulation, not the least of which is the fact that celibacy is not the root cause of incels’ bitterness and hatred, nor will sex fix the wide assortment of problems they face.

How do I know this? For one thing, because there is a not insignificant subset of so-called incels who ALREADY have sex, with sex workers, and they’re just as bad (and as badly off) as their actually celibate comrades.

Another reason the sex workers for incels plan won’t work is that it is simply wrong and unfair to expect sex workers to put up with incels and all their bitterness and cruelty. Sex workers are already burdened by incels; the sex worker “solution” for incels would only make this worse.

As a case in point, take the recent Incels.is confession of an ‘escortcel” — a non-celibate “incel” who turns to escorts for sex. “Genetic Error,” who has posted more than 1500 comments on the Incels.is forums, reported that he had had the “worst escort session ever,” having bad sex and then spending the last 15 minutes of the hour he paid for “roasting her and picking apart her flaws.” And “roasting” is putting it mildly; he was downright abusive.

He begins by acknowledging that the escort he hired, a Romanian woman, was “sexy as fuck,” though older than he had expected. After she “timewasted like 5 mins stupid bitch” in the bathroom, Genetic found that he “couldnt get hard cos her attitude was shit” but “eventually got hard and just did a few different positions.”

You may want to skip the rest of the post as it only gets worse from here.

She complained that he was hurting her, but this only made him madder. “[I] just kept telling her to stfu and every time she talks it makes me go soft,” he recalls, “then i finally cummed in her with like 15 mins left from an hour.”

“[H]onestly this was the shittest experience of my life,” he complains,

i will never use [this escort] again and now i know what to look out for at the start for the attutite and how compliant they are

With 15 minutes of the hour left, the two start talking, in a desultory sort of way, and Genetic tells us that he

got bored so i decided i will just try to pick apart every part about her in these 15 mins.

so i started talking about shes not 26, shes like 40, and she looks a bit old

This, the woman he repeatedly calls “sexy af.”

and she looked kinda insecure and kept making jokes about being old but i didnt laugh i just agreed she looks old

then started talking about so she’s going to be an escort for the rest of her life? in like a condescending way

and she kept saying next next next but i kept pushing it cos i knew she had no answer and was embarrassed

What the fuck are you doing with the rest of your life, dude? Your current life is shit, and given your current attitude and behavior it’s not likely to get any better.

then started going onto her looks again

saying she maybe should get a boob job because they’re a bit small

and she said nah i dont liek surgeries and i was trying to convince her they’re a bit too small and she needs them because big boobs is so good

then i said what about ur lips and she admitted she got injections in her lips so i asked her to put the flash for me to inspect htem and i said they look wonky

then asked about her eye colour and she tried changing the conversation like 4-5 times

then asked her to put flash on her eye colour and it was dark green and i gave a eh look

and she pointed it at mien and they were blue and she knew she got mogged

You’re the only one who cares that your eyes are blue, dude.

then she kept trying to get her top and trousers but i just snatched it off her and put it on the other side of the room and made her sit there naked

then she started talking about her driver is “mafia” and i just said its bullshit and just ignored i

then the hour was up and she was walking off and i said

you know botox? she said yeah … i said yeah u need it. and then she just walked off … .

Of course, he still thinks he was the victim here, declaring that “i kinda got done over with a shit experience.” But, he concludes,

me picking apart every aspect of her made me feel a bit better but still kinda shit but at least i got to basically use her sexy asf body and make her insecure

And that is why sex workers are not the solution to incels’ problems.

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Gijoel
Gijoel
2 years ago

That poor woman. I hope word about him gets to other sex workers. He sounds like a serial killer in training.

.45
.45
2 years ago

WTF? My first thought was “Of course not, they want to actually connect with another human being”, but I forgot we were talking about incels. I don’t know why I keep giving the benefit of the doubt.

Edit: Put the flash? Gonna have to look that one up…

Last edited 2 years ago by .45
Nequam
Nequam
2 years ago

Sometimes I think the only solution to incels is the traditional two sharp bricks, but that’s a bad, bad path to go down.

Bina
2 years ago

This dude is a complete toilet. No woman, no matter what she does for a living, deserves to be put through what this one was. Guys like this make everything shitty.

Lakitha Tolbert
Lakitha Tolbert
2 years ago

This just proves to me that Incels are not interested in sex. Just replace the word “sex” with “power”. That’s all it is.

Lollypop
Lollypop
2 years ago

then she started talking about her driver is “mafia” and i just said its bullshit and just ignored

Yeah I wouldn’t be so sure about that. The Albanian mafia is fairly notorious for human trafficking and controlling much the organised sex trade. Also horrifying that she said this in any case because it means for at least 15 minutes she was worried he was going to murder her.

TheKnd
TheKnd
2 years ago

Was to be expected. It’s not about the sex, they so fetishize, it’s about projecting their complete and utter self-loathing onto the rest of the world, especially women. Poor lady, she deserves a whole lot better.

Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
2 years ago

So the guy who calls himself Genetic Error verbally abuses a woman who supplies him with sex. This guy richly deserves his own self-loathing.

Justzen
2 years ago

Wtf? This is one anecdote that is constructively horrifying. I think it’s a bit Myopic to extrapolate this guys actions on to all sexless guys. He sounds (is) like an abusive asshole. If guys want to be abusive to the sex worker they get blacklisted. Simple.

On a moral and mental health basis, I don’t think sex work is good for anyone, but the market pays for it. So we have to find a way to make it work better. Obviously, situations like this won’t change unless the industry is regulated better.

Tldr; blacklist the guy. Circulate it among all sex worker agencies. Problem solved.

Justzen
2 years ago

(random person just finished reading your article)
Person: ALL INCELS ARE BAD BECAUSE THIS ARTICLE GENERALIZES SO AMAZINGLY

bekabot
bekabot
2 years ago

You know, there’s a substantial and respectable body of opinion which says that lots of guys use sex workers for psychological reasons, not physical ones.

I’m beginning to think that they might have a case to make.

Love is All We Need
Love is All We Need
2 years ago

“He begins by acknowledging that the escort he hired, a Romanian woman”

Andrew Tate lives in Romania and divides his time between there and Dubai. He said the reason he moved to Romania was because rape laws are very slack. “Not that I’m going to rape someone, but it makes me feel free.”

Dave
Dave
2 years ago

Incels don’t want relationships. They just want women they are allowed to rape.

Tara
Tara
2 years ago

David, this post speaks to so very many of your posts over the years. It is a definitive response to the sex workers for incels idea. That poor woman.

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
2 years ago

@Love: So does he keep it in his pants in Dubai, or rape migrant laborers (maids and such) who have less than no rights? Betting the latter.

@Lollypop: I am certain a Romanian prostitute in the US is definitely a human trafficking victim and is regarded as property of some Eastern European mob organization. So of course her driver’s going to be some kind of mafia guy. It’s his job and probably worth his life to keep her from getting killed or severely injured. I’m picturing the stereotypical big goon with a big gun who can give a beatdown to a bad john without breaking a sweat.

So he’s never going to get a sex worker from that organization again, and hopefully the word will filter out to other women in the same business.

@Dave: Word. This.

milotha
milotha
2 years ago

These guys need to be put in forced therapy. They always sound one step removed from serial killers.

Surplus to Requirements
Surplus to Requirements
2 years ago

Sometimes zero steps removed: another one went on a rampage in North Carolina last week, from what I’m hearing.

OTOH, I doubt forced therapy would do jack in this, or any, situation: you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink. Therapy only works if the therapee wants it to work.

TacticalProgressive
TacticalProgressive
2 years ago

@Justzen

It’s not a “generalization” of incels: when this is the whole damn praxis of incel ideology and movements. Hell: WHTMM tracks many examples of MRA’s, Incels, MGTOW’s and the like; and every single one; not only proves but affirms that this is the entire intended rubric of such movements. 3

It’s also rather telling that when presented with an incel, part of a Miysogenistg hate movement of toxic male chauvinists; instead of denouncing, condemning and rejecting such ilk; you make apologetics for them and pretending that incels and their ilk aren’t who they reveal themselves to be every time: women hating Miysogenists, toxic male chauvinists and even outright male supremacists

Even as a man myself: I’m disgusted with and hold contempt for boiler sludge such as this

Mediocrites, Longtime Lurker
Mediocrites, Longtime Lurker
2 years ago

@Lollypop
Yeah, the fact she said her driver was Mafia speaks volumes about how afraid she was. It’s a safe assumption that organizations like that have rules about “don’t say anything that could be used against us in a recording”, and yet she felt like she was in enough danger to compromise that. And this numpty just went “yeah, right…” utterly oblivious to just how close he probably came to throwing himself off a balcony. Several times in a row. From increasing heights.

Last edited 2 years ago by Mediocrites, Longtime Lurker
KMB
KMB
2 years ago

First reaction to the article: “Of course it’s not the solution, how can it be a solution to wxpose someone to toxic waste?!?”

After reading: “Am I the only one who sees this as bloody rape???”
Seriously. It doesn’t matter if you pay for it or not. It doesn’t matter if the other party agreed at the start. If they tell you to stop, or change something, and you don’t, then it doesn’t matter how it started. That is rape, end of the discussion. He is a literal rapist and it’s a travesty nobody will ever report him for it.

@Justzen
That’s because they ARE. Any ideology based on hate is wrong and a danger to everyone around them, period. It’s not isolated, either. Those shits are power-hungry, entitled narcissists who literally think they were cheated out of something they somehow inherently deserve having just by existing. And who rutinely think about, plan, and execute plans involving bodily harm and even death to others. Anyone defending them needs to conduct a reality check. They are terrorists. They should be treated as terrorists.

.45
.45
2 years ago

Incels: 99% of them give the rest a bad name

epitome of incomprehensibility

That sounds horrible. :/ But not surprising. From what I’ve read (and no, I’m *not* just extrapolating from this single post), incels don’t just feel entitled to sex, they also feel entitled to harass and demean women just for existing.

Gerald Fnord
Gerald Fnord
2 years ago

Ignoring what an awful person this particular person seems to be:

Sex-workers are not the solution for incels because a big part of their problem is that their not getting sex is seen as a judgement on their worth as a human being.Unless you’re a Randroid of some sort, being able to pay for sex does nothing to say ‘See? this is worthwhile person.’.

I’d love to be able to say that they’re deluded, but I’ve seen a fair amount of flawed criticism of them that boils-down to ‘Why should we care about this clown who canʼt even get a girl?’—not the sort of legitimate criticism of very real bad ideas and actions in which this site traffics, but real nonetheless.

True, in some cases someone were involuntarily celibate because they are, and perhaps have made themselves, profoundly unattractive, but this shouldn’t be assumed—if I believed that people fully deserved all the problems and suffering that came to them…well, I’d be a bit of a monster, or more. And even if they are unattractive to the opposite or otherwise desired gender, that shouldn’t be taken as the last word on them. (Some people have lots of consensual sex and are absolute shits.)

Sean Mulligan
Sean Mulligan
1 year ago

What does mother and put the Flash on mean?