I‘m not sure that Redditors are always getting the best possible advice from the Demons subreddit, a hangout for people who think literal demons are pestering them in real life.
Here’s one recent post there from a somewhat befuddled outsider by the name of -_nofap_-:
The correct advice in situations like these is YOU HAVE SLEEP APNEA. GO GET A SLEEP TEST IMMEDIATELY. SUCCUBI DO NOT EXIST.
Also, maybe consider abandoning that whole NoFap thing you reference in your Reddit handle, because you have to be pretty gratuitously horny to mistake sleep apnea for a visit from a sexy demon lady.
Anyway, let’s just say that the advice given out by the subreddit regulars was not exactly on point. The top comment:
To seal demons out of your home take some salt, dissolve it in water, then flick the saltwater around your entire home while reciting the St. Michael prayer.
Salting your house may be great for eradicating imaginary demons but it will have no effect on SLEEP APNEA WHICH IS WHAT THIS GUY HAS, I GUARANTEE IT EVEN THOUGH I’M NOT A DOCTOR.
In another comment, the advice giver elaborated on the salt thing in a distinctly unhelpful way.
The important thing is you salt your home in every corner, and make the sign of cross over the windows with the salt water. It won’t be able to come in again. Sorry this is happening to you, but it’ll stop once you salt your home. It can still follow you when you leave your home, I can’t stop that, this is the best I can do.
Ok, first off, this might vanquish imaginary demons but it’s not going to do anything for the SLEEP APNEA.
And the bit about the demon “follow[ing] you when you leave your home?” Are you trying to make this guy agoraphobic or what?
The irony here is the salt thing could help some, at least to keep Mr. -_nofap_- from conjuring up any more demons in his mind. Because, you see, he may have kind of invited the imaginary succubus into his life in the first place out of sheer horniness. In another comment he explained:
I was … listening to some audios to attract succubus. Once while I was listening to it, something touched me gently above my foot. It was nice feeling.
Dude, dude, just find yourself some porn like a normal person. AND GET CHECKED OUT FOR APNEA.
I was listening to band Rotten Christ, or something like that. Then I have seen big black shadow with big belly in peripheral vision.
Are you deliberately trying to freak yourself out because you’re bored? Seriously, develop a hobby that doesn’t involve invoking demonic spirits or trying to make Jesus mad.
Once I was depressed and prayed to God to die. In the middle of the night I woke up and I have seen 2 black shadows. They were tiny but scary. I prayed to God and I have never again seen them.
You prayed to die? Dude, in addition to getting checked for SLEEP APNEA, which YOU DEFINITELY HAVE, I would also suggest checking in with a therapist. Like, immediately. It will do you a lot more good than salting your house.
Once I saved some cats. Then I have seen in peripheral vision big black cat.
Maybe it was there to thank you? There’s nothing evil about saving cats!!!!1!
In conclusion, see a sleep doctor about your OBVIOUS SLEEP APNEA, and stop trying to invite demonic forces into your life. I mean, they’re imaginary, but the imagination is a powerful thing. Almost as powerful as SLEEP APNEA which you DEFINITELY HAVE.
EDITED TO ADD: Ok, as a reader pointed out, this sort of nightmare could be the result of anxiety or PTSD, and not necessarily apnea. I’m not a doctor. But Mr. NoFap really needs to see a doctor to get this sorted out.
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Probably a good idea to see a doctor since he felt tired and sick after this incident, but this could also be sleep paralysis. I get that once in a while and it is quite terrifying. Luckily I only get it when I accidentally roll over onto my back in my sleep. If I side sleep like normal, it won’t happen.
Sleep paralysis fits, too.
Sleep paralysis is where the idea of incubi, succubi, hags, gray aliens abducting you, evil spirits in the corner, etc. etc. comes from in the first place.
But I agree the having all the air sucked out of his lungs points to SLEEP APNEA. Both at the same time are certainly possible
He needs to get to a doctor soonest. A nice CPAP will get rid off all the nasties and he’ll get restful sleep. Particularly if his neck’s above a certain diameter (I forget which), because if you have a lot of fat on your neck, you get SLEEP APNEA.
Also, get checked for allergies and snoring.
Pfft, all y’all wrong. As a big titty demon, can confirm, was demons all along, salting the house is going to be his best bet. We have genetic hypertension, see. Low-sodium abodes only, devil doctor’s orders. It’s against the lesser demon’s union contract to work in unsafe or hostile environments. We aren’t monsters.
My partner gets sleep paralysis. Early in the relationship, I woke up because he was saying “help me, help me, help me”, I asked what was wrong and he, apparently entirely conscious, stared at me and said “there’s someone in the room”. I was somewhat terrified.
The more fun thing is that he’ll sometimes have sleep-conversations I don’t immediately realise he isn’t actually awake for. One 3am, I was rather engaged chatting to him before he started detailing some quite baroque plans which involved the purchase of “all the broccoli in Scotland”.
“Sleep disturbance” is a nice general term.
This guy needs to see more than one doctor. But yeah, start with getting the sleep apnea controlled.
@ Lollypop
That would be a lot of broccoli . . .
What on Earth could someone possibly want it all for? Unless maybe to destroy or hide it all so that it won’t be inflicted upon the children of Scotland …
@Lollipop @Surplus
It’s well known that broccoli makes an excellent trap for succubi. Simply make a LOT of soup. This is, of course, irresistible to succubi, who will swim in it and drown.
I had sleep paralysis once, and once was enough. I dreamt that somebody was strangling me and woke up to find that the bedsheet was wrapped around my neck. I couldn’t move so much as a finger to loosen it. This probably lasted for a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity.
I’ve sleepwalked just once that I know of. I was staying at my cousin’s house and I woke up when I fell down the stairs. Luckily I got nothing worse than a bruised behind. It was embarrassing, though, because I woke everyone up.
I have sleep apnea and use a CPAP. How do I set it for succubi?
@Steve: I don’t think it works in reverse. And you shouldn’t put salt water in it, so I guess you’re stuck with merely a better quality of life for more years.
@Jazzlet @Surplus
I only wish I knew what the plan was AFTER we purchased all the broccoli, which frankly I think would have meant taking out some pretty serious loans. A bonanza day for the broccoli farmers of Scotland!
@Sheila
I’ve only had one in my life too. A really ugly, extremely malevolent pig was sitting on my chest. Which is weird because usually, I am a pig fan.
sleep paralysis, yeah, could definitely also be that. I guess I kind of jumped to conclusions based on the sucking out of breath stuff.
this is why I’m not a doctor. well, that and I’ve never been to med school.