The incel-ification of the Men’s Rights movement continues apace. The regulars on the Men’s Rights subreddit, much like the incels I follow, are whining that it’s literally impossible for most men to meet the allegedly quite stringent height standards for women.
In a thread on the subreddit posted yesterday, a fellow called NoCommunication5976 declares that “Men’s appearance standards are basically impossible to meet up to.”
He continues, making clear that what he’s really talking about is height.
I’m not talking about how you have to be ripped and use steroids to meet standards, I’m talking about how it is statistically impossible to meet up to height standards. The average man is around 5’6” keep in mind, lots of men are shorter, and lots are taller, but not significantly taller.
Actually, the average height of American men is 5′ 9,” as I learned from literally seconds worth of Googling.
6’2” is around the 99th percentile, meaning that 1 in 100 men meet appearance standards.
You really think that women will refuse to date anyone less than 6’2″?
The thing is, height cannot be improved through any means, no matter what.
Uh, you can wear shoes with big heels that will increase your height an inch or two.
This makes height standards impossible to meet. It would be like if everyone had to pay a billion dollars in taxes just like elon musk.
Really? I would be stunned to hear that Elon Musk actually pays any taxes.
Now, we all can see with our own eyes that there are plenty of short (or at least less than 6″2″) guys in the world with girlfriends or wives (or both). There are certainly some women who say they won’t date men who aren’t, say, 6 foot or over. But they’re clearly a minority — because most men shorter than that are able to find partners for themselves.
So how important are women’s height preferences anyway, according to SCIENCE? It depends on what study you’re looking at and how the issue is framed. But the short answer is: not that important.
One recent study found that height does in fact matter more to women than it does to men. But that doesn’t mean that it matters a lot. While only 13% of men said they preferred to date women shorter than them, roughly half of dating-age women wanted someone taller than them.
“Someone taller than them” doesn’t mean 6 feet or higher. It just means taller than the woman filling out the survey. The average height of American women is 5’4,” which is a full five inches shorter than the average American man. That means most men meet the height standards of the roughly 50 percent of women who express a preference in height. That means it’s a bit harder for men less than 5’4″ to find dates, but not impossible, as half the women out there don’t care.
Another survey I found asked rather different questions but came to a similar conclusion: women don’t care all that much about height. Indeed, nearly 70 percent of women said they found short men attractive. And more than 80 percent said they would date men the same height as they are.
Meanwhile, 60 percent said that the ideal height for a man is 5’8″ — that’s an inch shorter than the average American man.
Which might suggest that women actually prefer slightly shorter guys?
Though NoCommunication5976’s thread got more than 200 upvotes, there were a few in the comments who pointed out that his claims were pretty much bullshit.
“You spend too much time on the internet,” wrote marks1995.
You’re confusing a preference with a standard.
As you said, 99% of men aren’t 6′. That doesn’t mean 99% of men are single.
There are women that would love a 6′ tall guy. But the vast majority of them would gladly trade a few inches in height for someone with goals, confidence, grooming, good at sex, etc. All things you can control.
Exactly.
Like the incels they increasingly resemble, Men’s Rights activists spend a great deal of their time and energy fighting battles against imaginary oppression.
I wonder if it ever occurs to these guys that women don’t want to date them, not because they’re short, but because they’re Men’s Rights activists?
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I know it’s only anecdotal, but I have 3 brothers, and when I was in high school, all my friends had crushes on the shortest one. Just saying. I don’t know if he was aware of that or not, but his height (5’5″ or 5’6″ at the time?) was no impediment to his attractiveness to girls.
There was a dude in my class at highschool was literally a little person. He was 4″2 and he got dates just fine. I don’t think there is a “too short ” to date. Yeah if you have a condition it might make it harder but I don’t think anything physically could actually stop someone from finding love
Speaking as a tall woman – I think the figure should be far higher than 13%.
GF1386 sneaked in some really good advice:
@Elaine
There was a dude I knew in middle school who was 6’6 in 8th grade. He was taller than every teacher and wanted to be an NBA player. He never got a girlfriend because he was just kind of a jerk.
That seems to be the mode woman. But does the mean woman find the average man attractive?
If that keeps them away from women, good?
But it probably encourages the weeaboo waifu guys to fetishize Asian women even more… even though Asian women nowadays are often the same height as American or European ones.
I have knew more than one guy in school who are actually much shorter than usual, as in genetic conditions that lead to short stature, and they got girls because they were fun to hang around with. One of them was surprisingly good at basketball, too. My HS boyfriend was only 5’5, but he was nice, and could he ever kiss, mmm mmm.
I had a female friend who was 6′ and was overweight, but she was brilliant and funny and had a voice that I told her was made for Sexy Girls Talk To You phone lines. She dated a lot of men shorter than her.
Also, I have heard from many women that Peter Dinklage is dreamy. Those eyes!
Men who are too tall give me a crick in my neck.
The MRA’s aren’t too short — only their compassion is.
Then there’s my mother, a tall woman who felt she should marry a man taller than her. She succeeded. But the man she married, although 6 inches taller than her, was abusive. So there’s that to consider.
@The owner of this blog
You say above that these men can’t get women not because they are short but because they are MRAs, but it’s really because they can’t get women that they are MRAs. They see the injustice being visited upon us by society at this time, the scores of women who will not give a short (i.e. “ankle-high to the Jolly Green Giant”) man a chance in this fraught dating environment. The decoupling of female sexuality from material reality and healthy societal moors has resulted in such a society where women feel entitled to unrealistic things; if millennial women are obsessed with the 3 6’s (6 pack, 6 figure salary, 6 feet tall), then it is reasonable to assume that this trend will continue to reach even more absurd heights; you will need the wealth of one Bezos, abs that you can gride diamonds on, and height? Forget it — only “Fee Fi Fo Fums” need apply. They would even take the castle in the sky after the divorce, I’d bet.
I’m a woman who, at 5’9″ is taller than average. Most men I’ve dated are around my height and a few have been around 5’5″ or 5’6″. I’ve never dated a man over 6′ foot for more than one date or so. While having a man taller than me would be nice, it’s not a must have by any means. (My brother is 5’6″ and I’m the odd one in the family as most are average height to short.)
I know I’m showing my age here, but Michael J. Fox was a sex symbol and teen idol in the US, during the 1980s. I’ve read that he’s 5’4″.
@Dormousing_it, Tom Cruise and Robert Downey Jr. are also shorter than 5’9″, though they’re usually filmed in a way that disguises it. It certainly hasn’t stopped them from being viewed as extremely attractive leading men.
Dudes in the manosphere love to blame all their problems on their failure to meet some imaginary standard of physical appearance (that evil women are supposedly demanding of them), when the standard they actually fail to meet is basic human decency. (Which, to be fair, women are also demanding of them. As well we should.)
As I have said pretty much every time this comes up, I’ve always been attracted to shorter men even though I almost never got to date them. And Husbeast is only 6’1″ so there!
I admit, part of the reason I love Mr. Parasol is he’s 6 ft 5, but that’s my personal preference at work. Not some kind of grand conspiracy.
Admittedly, it’s very nice to be married to someone who hears me say, “Honey? Can you come here and be tall for me?” and responds with, “Why, yes – I’m very good at being tall,” then comes over to fetch whatever I cannot reach.
I like short guys, but they don’t like me 🙁 A lot of them IME have serious Napoleon complexes, and don’t like women finding them attractive because they’re short, or any hint that they’re not big and strong and in charge.
Which like… LOL I get it, I also got bullied for not being macho enough. But we ain’t kids anymore. Nobody is going to care if you’re seen in public with a girl who’s taller than you, and TBQH they will still think you’re in charge because you’re the guy.
5’6 is the world average though, David.
Seems likely to be what is referred to
That is delightful, thanks for sharing.
@VP: That’s delightful. You guys sound like a wonderful couple.
Aww, thanks. He certainly delights me.
He also sometimes walks over and just stands next to me with this cute expression I can’t really describe. Then he says, “Okay, I’m being tall!” and I have to specify what I need him to be tall for.
I’m Hispanic. Born preterm.
My height is 5 foot 9 on a good day. Quite average for my generation.
When I migrated to New York, I felt small.
When I moved to Florida, I felt tall.
But heightism is an actual thing in the USA.
People vote for taller politicians as Presidents. Tall CEOs get paid more than average or below height people.
Remember that Trump has a teenage son who is currently 6 foot 9!
Heightism.
@Full Metal Ox
I know it’s never intentional but “find somebody good enough” always sounds negative which is maybe why people shun the advice! When I think of something “good enough” it’s not something I want, but something I am putting up with for because I need an item and it will have to do (like a dress for a wedding that I need but don’t particularly like).
I’m waffling but I always wonder how to express that in a different manner so it doesn’t sound so negative!
And don’t get me started on “learn to love somebody”. How?!
On a side note – do men like this never look around them in the real world?
Do they genuinely think all men under 6ft 2 are single? Do they truly not notice all the short /average height men in relationships.
@Jumpin Little Guy
Maybe this is what people like the MRA in the post need to learn to accept: Nobody is entitled to a relationship.
If a woman insists on being “unrealistic”, or rather prefers to remain single than take up one of the prions available to her – that’s her own private affair.
@Diego
Ive noticed that too. A majority of People in Florida tend to be shorter. In Canada, Albertans tend to be very tall. I wonder if it’s the nutrition deficiencies in a humid climate where gastrointestinal diseases thrive thus stunting growth?
@Victorious Parasol: Nice! I’m shorter than average, so the 5’9″ Mr. Dormousing_it IS tall for me. I have told him to keep my height in mind, for example when installing a clothesline, as well as the length of my arms. Gee, it’d be nice to be even 5’5″.
@Rusalka: Many years ago, my mother saw Paul Newman in a Broadway play. I mention this because there was speculation about his height. My mother said he appeared to be of average height, maybe even a bit shorter. The friend she was with, waited until after the play to get his autograph.