So over on the Antifeminists subreddit, I found this guy, with a very specific set of worries about contemporary women, all of which seem to involve the specter of a man with a large penis and six-pack abs.
A man with a large penis and six pack abs, huh?
In a followup comment, AntinatalismTrue reaffirmed his man with a large penis and six packs theory of female sexuality.
You have to understand that women are far more sexual than men are. Also, you have to understand that women are far more sexual when it comes to men with six pack abs and a decent size penis. If a woman is at a bachelorette party, she is going to cheat, especially if the man in question has a six pack abs and a decent size penis.
Dude, who hurt you? Was it a man with six pack abs and a large penis?
What is this preoccupation with men with six pack abs and a large penis?
Damn, now you’ve got me saying it.
Anyway, I’m now being told this whole “women giving bjs and handies to strippers at bachelorette parties” is a thing in porn. One of the commenters in the thread explains:
I think you’ve been watching that weird Dancing Bear bachelorette party porn too much because they don’t all go out and have sex with dudes …
I wonder how AntinatalismTrue feels about women who order “sausage pizzas” (nudge nudge, wink wink say no more). Or call up plumbers to come by with, er, a big “pipe” (hint, hint) to “fix her plumbing” (say no more). Or when a computer technician comes by her cubicle to “swap out her RAM.”
Wait, that last one might be a real thing. I mean, he may actually swap out her RAM. Or maybe it’s a woman technician, did you think of that you sexist. I can’t operate on that RAM. It’s my son.
In any case, AntinatalismTrue does seem to be an object lesson in what happens with people who think porn clips, even the very silly ones, are documentaries.
I also have a sneaking suspicion that he might be a troll, though a quick glance at his comment history suggests he’s probably at least mostly sincere, maybe.
Either way, fellas, keep a eye out for men with large penises and six pack abs, because obviously they’re up to no good, especially if they’re delivering “sausage pizza” to your RAM.
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If you try to marry Chad the Chippendale, you will inevitably have sex with a different stripper at your own bachelorette party. So that doesn’t work.
Hmm, maybe if you book Chad himself at your party? But then you risk some of your friends having sex with him too.
Sorry, can’t win. If only people could decide who they have sex with.
Kat wrote:
That is, the English plural of penni (former Finnish national currency subunit). Meanwhile, penis would be the English plural of peni, an archaic Finnish word for dog. The double plural penises would be presumably something Gollum mutters to himself.
The constant talk about six packs in this thread makes me think of Finnish backyard barbecue, where the classic menu would consist of beer cans and thick frankfurter type sausages. I think that’d be my style of bachelor party, with a just couple friends present.
@Lumipuna: So Chad the Chippendale has a giant version of an obsolete small-value coin, and more than one dog with him when he comes to the bachelorette party?
The only man I know with a giant coin and a faithful dog is Batman (in the comics), and while he’s got a six-pack, I don’t see Bruce needing the extra cash from stripping.
Oh goodness, it’s octopuses all over again.
(Which sounds like a hentai title, but nevermind…)
“P*nises” is actually perfectly fine in English (as is “octopuses” by the way). The word had been adopted long enough ago that it had acquired the standard English plural form.
On the Merriam-Webster website, the word “p*nis” includes two possible plural forms: “p*nises, also p*nes”.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/penis
Hope that settles it.
(Also, I must apologise for popping out of the woodwork just to make a nitpicky comment; I still read here fairly regularly, just usually don’t have much to add to the discussion.)
Former medical transcriptionist agrees with Penny. I’ve heard doctors (and specifically urologists) say “p*nises” more frequently.
And I transcribed a LOT of penile implant operative notes back in the days before Viagra became so popular.
Okay, suppose she does have sex with Chad the Chippendale, decides her fiance is a loser creepazoid, calls off the wedding and marries Chad instead… without a bachelorette party this time?
@Penny Psmith, @Victorious Parasol
As a password, yes. It has that very valuable special character.
My original comment was actually a joke about the asterisk.
@GSS ex-noob:
Okay, suppose she does have sex with Chad the Chippendale, decides her fiance is a loser creepazoid, calls off the wedding and marries Chad instead… without a bachelorette party this time?
Then that means yet another treacherous foid’s defection to Chad—who, remember, must be regarded as a class rather than an individual. This also then qualifies her ex as an incel—the most put-upon, persecuted, and pushed-around of beings. Nor can Chad himself be trusted to withdraw from the dating pool into monogamous fidelity; his sexual gravitational pull is an inexorable force of nature.
Ah. :-/ I just assumed it was necessary for avoiding spam filters (which is why I went through my comment and changed every instance of “penis” to “p*nis”, except for the one in the linked URL). Wasn’t sure how the commenting here worked in that respect.
Since the pedantry about a word originating in Latin/Greek (as I mistakenly saw it at the time) is a pretty common phenomenon, like in the case of the unfairly maligned “octopuses”, you can see why that mistake was an easy one to make – although the fact you claimed the word isn’t in Webster’s probably should’ve tipped me off.
To make up for it, may I recommend Merriam-Webster’s excellent podcast, “Word Matters”? They actually discussed “octopuses” (/”octopi”/”octopodes”) recently.
Most men, especially religious ones, will shame women for being visual sluts, in terms of male porn stars and male strippers.
Men like that don’t tolerate women ogling hot men. They want to control women’s eyes and thoughts.