Florence Pugh and the Boobs of Doom: Why one man wants those things put away before they make him go AWOOGA

A lot of men spend a lot of time trying to grab a glance of tit. But when Midsommer star Florence Pugh wore a sheer top to a recent fashion event – showing off her boobs, nipples and all – angry men around the world told her to cover up.

Some railed against this surprise boob exposure; other ungrateful fellows complained that the boobs she exposed were too small. The question: Why oh why was Pugh exposing us to … THEM?

Pugh responded to her boob-haters by asking some questions of her own:

Why are you so scared of breasts? Small? Large? Left? Right? Only one? Maybe none? What. Is. So. Terrifying.

Over on RedState, a red-blooded American male named Brandon Morse tried to explain just why, even though he likes to look at boobs, he doesn’t want to see Pugh showing hers off in public. And it was a pretty revealing post, though not at all in the way its author intended.

Let’s go, Brandon:

What Pugh is demonstrating here is a very common issue in modern society; a blatant disrespect toward men.

I don’t think her boobs are being disrespectful at all.

The fact is, while she might not see breasts as a sexual attractor, men do. It’s naturally wired within us. Boobs are so attractive to men that when we look at them we actually become healthier.

So your complaint is that she’s making men healthier by showing off her boobs?

Apparently realizing that this little factoid — citation sorely needed — isn’t going to do his anti-public-boobing argument much good, he moves on to … babies and how everyone wants to make them, even when they don’t want to make them literally.

For a moment, let’s take out the higher thinking we humans are capable of and strip us down to our base instincts. Our animal selves are hardwired to procreate. Even people who don’t want children are slammed pretty hard with the urge to mate.

Dude, you know that people aren’t procreating with boobs, right? Procreation involves another part of the body that is somewhat south from there.

But you see, boobs indicate that a woman can have babies, and men like that (in their pants) about women.

Breasts are an indicator that a female is in the child-bearing range

Uh, girls can reach puberty — and develop boobs — as young as eight, you weirdo perv. It sounds an awful lot like you’re saying “if there’s grass on the field, play ball.”

… and the healthier her breasts look, the more a male might find himself naturally drawn to her.

So this woman is presumably one of the healthiest women to ever live.

Those breasts aren’t just going to be able to feed his offspring, they’ll be good at providing comfort and safety for their progeny as well.

Uh, boobs do what exactly? Are they bulletproof, or something? Can they shoot out fireworks to scare off bears?

Wait a second I’m being told that they can.

A lot of features go into a male of our species finding a woman attractive, but in every case, the revealing of the breasts is always a big deal. They don’t even have to be big. They just have to be there.

Then this woman could be one of the healthiest in the world also?

Breasts have inherent sexual value because breasts are a key component in the propagation of our species, the whole reason behind sexual attraction in the first place.

So now he is getting to his main point: that men can’t help but go AWOOOGAH every time they see boobs.

[T]rying to carry on a conversation, talk to clients, or even just drive down the road would be far more difficult if the woman in front of them is flashing her high beams in his direction.

Work that metaphor!

Women often complain that men don’t take them seriously enough, but rest assured, adding exposed breasts to the mix won’t make it any better.

So douchebag men think less of women when they see their boobs? That sounds like a douchebag problem, not a boob problem.

In 2009, the National Geographic reported on a study where men were shown scantily clad women while hooked up to machines that read brainwaves. When shown these pictures, the male brain reacted and fired up, but only in certain parts:

And in a “shocking” finding … some of the men studied showed no activity in the part of the brain that usually responds when a person ponders another’s intentions.

This means that these men see women “as sexually inviting, but they are not thinking about their minds,” Fiske said. “The lack of activation in this social cognition area is really odd, because it hardly ever happens.”

Effectively, men stopped seeing the woman as a conscious person and began seeing her as a *gasp* sex object. The woman was effectively whittled down in the mind to be equal to that of a tool.

And once again this sounds like a douchebag problem, not a boob problem.

Already you can hear the feminists roar in outrage, but maybe they should check their anger first. Again, this isn’t something a man can help.

Are we talking about men or 14-year-old boys? Men don’t have to respond like animals to seeing boobs. They can learn to respect women even if these women have grade-A hooters.

It’s deep-wired in him by nature to do this, and indeed, the propagation of our species requires this. A man seeing a woman as a sex object isn’t inherently a bad thing. In fact, I can show you a whole host of internet content provided by everyday women who subconsciously love this fact about men

So how many Onlyfans pages does this guy subscribe to anyway?

A man can be sexually attracted to a woman while still appreciating her mind and personality, of course.

Glad to hear that.

In fact, it often feeds into sexual attraction, but with that said, men are driven to populate based quite a bit on visual stimuli.

They’re driven to fuck; can’t you just say that? It’s not like guys are going around asking women to “populate” with them. (Well, incels might be.) Why do these guys write about human sex as if they were Martians encountering it for the first time?

Freeing your nipple in front of a man would cause parts of that man’s brain to activate.

It lights up the whole nipple appreciation zone (NAZ) in the midbrain nuclei.

His baser instincts would become incredibly loud in his mind, and whether or not he’d want to, his thoughts would revolve around sexuality. Whatever he’s doing would become far more difficult.

You know, however basic our human lusts are, most straight men can actually survive looking at boobs. Their lives don’t fall apart. Their boob-liking instincts don’t drive out everything else in their heads.

His focus would be continuously drawn to the exposed breasts in front of him and the image would haunt him for weeks.

Those have to be some boobs!

He wouldn’t be able to look at you without the image of your breasts popping up in his mind.

How horny is this guy anyway?

This isn’t sexism or misogyny. It’s just nature, and men aren’t going to suddenly lose that instinct because of a few Instagram posts.

I’d like to think that men are a bit more than the sum total of their basest instincts. It’s weird how many antifeminist men out there supposedly defending men from feminist critics actually think that their fellow men are a bunch of slavering beasts whose heads start producing steam every time they get a glimpse of boob.

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