Fellas! I mean, straight ones! Do you ever find yourself checking out a cute gal in the melon department in the supermarket and you want to ask her out but you’re not sure if she’s a feminist, which is important because you definitely don’t want to date one of those?
Well, your problem is as good as solved, because it’s actually very easy to detect a feminist, at least according to the fine fellas in the antifeminist subreddit, who are sort of experts on the subject.
A few days ago a guy called Ptoney1 asked the antifeminists the question: How to detect feminists?
“Hey y’all,” he began,
Anyone have quick and easy ways to detect feminists while dating?
I’m looking to avoid spending time with women where I’m going to eventually fail at the relationship for some garbage reason.
Looking for a series of questions or similar that reveals hardcore feminist beliefs and anything else to avoid while dating.
Apparently this is the easiest thing in the world.
“[D]on’t worry,” wrote Regular_Principle_66, “they’ll tell you.”
And they may not even need to use words, at least according to Ok-Restaurant-9356
The question should be ‘How to not detect a feminist’. It is extremely hard to not detect them.
You will feel the dead feminine energy. Literally, dont think about it. Just try to feel and you will notice.
So feminism is basically like the Dark Side of the Force.
Some of the other antifeminists weren’t so sure women would reveal their secret feminism so easily. But it’s still not hard to figure it out. AirSailer recommended that the OP
Be a man and ask them directly. No feminist that I’ve ever met wasn’t totally willing to say yes. Be prepared for the typical shaming tactics they will use against you if you tell them you don’t date feminists.
Actually you will probably be surprised by the huge sigh of relief from the woman realizing she’s dodged a bullet here.
However, I think there are plenty of women who think they are feminist but don’t actually know what the term means.
Yes, I’m sure that you’re a better judge of feminism than any mere woman.
Ask them if they believe in the patriarchy, if they answer yes you know they will bear no responsibility for anything in their life, you want to run away from that type of woman.
I agree. You should run. Preferably like this, for the greatest comedic effect.
BONUS QUESTION: How good are you at feminist detection? See if you can spot any feminists in this picture.
I actually found this amazing picture in the antifeminist subreddit too, so kudos to them for providing me so much material today.
Follow me on Mastodon.
Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.
We Hunted the Mammoth relies on support from you, its readers, to survive. So please donate here if you can, or at David-Futrelle-1 on Venmo.
I have noticed that 99.99% of all feminist women had a nose. So they should only date women without a nose(kinda like a feminine version of Lord Voldemort), but there is still a small chance for them to be feminists. To be on the safe side, you should probably date a noseless men since men are less likely to be feminists than women in general. In other words, if you don’t want to date a feminist, you should probably date Lord Voldemort. That seems like a good plan.
epronovost wins all the internets.
I’d amend his advice to walking up to another human being, woman or man and saying, “Hi, I realize that youre shopping for groceries and probably not intersted in being hit on while you squeeze melons, but i wanted to ask youna question: Donyou believe that women deserves equal rights? If you do, I wont continue to harague you. That should work…and by work, I mean send them straight to the manager’s office to ask for security to escort you out of their business.
The advice is incomplete. What do I do if I can’t detect their aura, they don’t tell me out of the blue as I approach them, and they don’t think of themselves as feminist, but believe in equality anyway?
brb, gonna go work on my dead feminine energy
I think it’s much more efficient to skip the boring in-between stuff and go right from “How’s the salad?” to “Men have rights too, you gold-digging roastie femoid!” It saves time, and he can cram in fifty “relationships” in the time it takes most people to have one.
Translation: you’re looking to avoid spending time with women where she’s going to eventually see through your attempts to manipulate, gaslight, and abuse her.
And you, Mr. Antifeminist? Do you take responsibility for the fact that your one sentence is, grammatically speaking, three sentences?
The terrible secret of feminism is that any woman can become a feminist at any stage in life. Imagine you’ve married the woman of your dreams (HB10, no personality), you’ve been together a few years, and then suddenly KAPOW she’s a feminist. All that money you’ve invested in her, wasted!
It’s best not to risk it at all. Stay away from women, guys.
Sort of OT, but in that last image Mr. F posted, am I the only one to think it looks like the feminists are analyzing Fraud, er, uhm, Freud?
Also, “squeezing the melons?” Yeah, nothing Freudian about that phrasing. If a deliberate choice, I give it two snaps and a hearty 👍.
I can’t remember ever being chatted up at the supermarket, and I don’t feel diminished having missed the experience.
Well, it’s not like these types would believe them.
Shut it down, @epronovost has it covered today. With @amtep a close second.
But yes, put on your big boy pants and ask right away. This will keep both of you from wasting your time.
How about this tactic? If you are the type of man who would describe himself as an “antifeminist”, maybe just leave women alone entirely. (I believe there’s even an acronym for that.) That way you’re sure to avoid feminists.
“Ask them if they believe in the patriarchy, if they answer yes … run away !?” Isn’t that going against the whole male domination thing? Shouldn’t it be “believe in the patriarchy latch on to her quickly,” she’s not a “feminist?” It’s not that confusing, is it?
I did make all the way through one of these …
That “dead feminine energy” is pure beleaguered tedium at being approached by a complete stranger with some bullshit once again. The name for that is the grey rock.
>>However, I think there are plenty of women who think they are feminist but don’t
>>actually know what the term means.
>Yes, I’m sure that you’re a better judge of feminism than any mere woman.
For once I must take issue with Our Gracious Host: it is not necessarily misogynist to believe that a lot of women are self-deceiving, for the simple reason that a lot of humans are self-deceiving. I’ve known a few socialists who turn around and treat taxation for the needs of society as theft, capitalists who believe the Evil Market-Destroying Gummint owes their business a bail-out, not a few MRA types who demand respect as Real Men and demand to be coddled like small children, and at least one woman who claimed to be feminist but didn’t believe that there could be any call on her to financially contribute to her marriage because ‘that‘s the man’s job’.
…and I, to be fair, have a very hard time viscerally believing in the inevitability of mine own death, when intellectually I know that to be the only inevitability.