Let’s take a break from doomscrolling with (another) little visit to the Land of Magic Sperm, also known as the Semen Retention subreddit.
This time I would like point you to a sort of Magic Semen fairy tale titled “The beauty of a man,” originally posted by someone called 93lionman and reposted a year later by another user, Bakoe_, who described it as “one of the most powerful posts of this subreddit of all time,” which sounds pretty promising, eh?
“Think about the beauty of a beautiful woman,” 93lionman begins.
She probably has big hips, big breasts, nice face, beautiful feet, etc.
Er, feet?
She is physically attractive because she represents life itself. She is alive and she can bring life through pregnancy.
Well, that’s enough about beautiful women. What about “beautiful men?”
A beautiful man, is not necessarily a super model.
Ok, fair enough, men are judged less by their looks than women. And apparently that makes life easier for … (cis) women?
Think about this. Women have it easier at the beginning. They can’t lose life force through orgasm, maybe they desensitize a little through masturbation, but don’t lose nutrients through orgasm.
A little man discovers that he can ejaculate and starts losing important brain nutrients since he is pretty much a child. 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21… how much nutrients did he lose, in comparison to a woman, with every orgasm?
Well, to bring reality into this fantasy for a moment, the answer is not really that much, given that the amount of semen in an average ejaculation is really tiny, with your typical money shot containing somewhere from 5 to 25 calories. Indeed, WebMD says that
even though it’s made of many essential nutrients that you need in your daily diet, it isn’t a good nutritional source due to the small amount of semen produced in one ejaculation.
Basically, you’d have to lose (figurative) buckets of cum before it started to deplete your “life force.”
But apparently the folks at WebMD don’t understand the true magic of semen. 93lionman continues, claiming that excessive masturbation
is why young men feel depressed and want to learn “how to be better” to “attract a woman”. Those girls didn’t lose any nutrients and then do better academically. They are faster mentally, while most men are doing some drug to cope with the lost life through his depleted life force.
“Some drug?” Are we talking multivitamins or meth? 93lionman doesn’t say.
But, once in a time, a special man appears. A man that realizes that he has been losing his life through ejaculation. He looks at himself and says: “No more! Now I’m gonna accumulate my life force! And I will become who I FUCKING REALLY AM!”
Apparently this lively new fellow lives life IN ALL CAPS!
So from now on, this man rejects all shame. This man starts working on himself with the newly adquired energy and confidence.
He obviously isn’t using much of this “adquired” energy to improve his spelling.
This man exhudes pure VIRYA, and is so different to EVERY OTHER MAN, even if he doesn’t have certain physical qualities to make him a supermodel or mega star.
As I understand it, virya basically means vitality. I’m not sure if putting it in all caps makes it more vital.
This man exhudes HIMSELFNESS. This man has adquired a new muscle in his brain, that allows him to PENETRATE life, meanwhile other men are penetrating vaginas or their hand, and ejaculating their life force.
I’m really hoping they’re not literally penetrating their own hands. Because ow.
This man becomes beautiful. Why?
Beautiful means: ” pleasing the senses or mind aesthetically”, ” of a very high standard; excellent”
“Pleasing the senses or mind”
Why would a man that retains his vital force be pleasing to the mind?
Ok, why?
Because people can sense the energy we emit. This means that when we are perceived, they sense our energy, which is made of strong life force which we accumulated through days, weeks, months and hopefully years.
Deep down we all can sense a man that retains his essence: he becomes healthier and more powerful.
Why does this all sound like a lost page of the Dr. Strangelove screenplay?
93lionman continues:
What is the highest standard for a man?
Conquering his blind animal energy, and using it to unify it’s energy with his mental power.
What is a man if he just depletes his life force as an animal would?
Wait, are all the animals out there just wanking it continually like a teenage boy? I mean, chimps do that, but they’re pretty similar to us.
Which reminds me, we’re all animals. Even the beautiful man who doesn’t wank it is also a member of the animal community.
“He is just an animal,” 93lioinman acknowledges.
How does he become “excellent”?
The man that retains and accumulates his life force excels in the animal world.
Most male animals spend all their life essence inside the females and become exhausted. Running horses are kept far from females, because their owners know that if they accumulate their male essence, they will run much faster.
In the same way, a man that retains his life force, adquires a divine quality.
He is just not a mere animal. He holds great power.
But can he outrun a horse? If the world’s wanking men knew that giving up masturbation would enable them to outrun a horse — or at least a semen-depleted horse — we’d soon see horse races in which the horses rode their jockeys. The inventor of NoFap would be given an Nobel Prize. If they could catch up with him to hand it over.
Alas, 93lionman doesn’t even deal with this horsey dilemma. Instead, he asks why the Beautiful Man “is Beautiful.”
What’s more beautiful than life itself? And the man that is most beautiful, is the man with the most LIFE within. The man that retains is FULL OF LIFE.
Full of something, certainly.
Thus, is beautiful.
How is this beauty expressed?
Through the glow in the eyes. Through a body that accumulates essential nutrients and hormones, a vigorized body. Through a mind that can create beautiful thoughts, and has the ability to solve complex problems. Through discipline of learning and working, be it to have economic liability or bodily health. Through a voice that speaks without fear. Through a delightful spirit that walks this earth with the intention of good.
Apparently it doesn’t affect his spelling ability, though.
The man that consciously retains is beautiful, he encompasses life itself in a way that women and children wouldn’t understand, because they don’t have the power of the VIRYA lifeforce which animalistically desires to get out of the body and impregnate.
To be fair, it also would be animalistically happy to get out of the body and into an old sock. Semen really enjoys gushing out of the penis.
So the man that tames this beast, and uses his energy FOR HIS GOALS, his divine goals, is beautiful, and divine.
No. not THAT Divine. The other one.
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I assume you’ve heard the incredibly blasphemous joke about how Jesus jerks off…
I have been reading a lot about semen related topics recently, and one thing I learned that did surprise me is that the conventional wisdom that when trying to get a woman pregnant you should save up your semen for a couple of days has actually been shown to be wrong. In men who have issues with sperm quality, ejaculating an hour or so before they do the reproductive act improves matters for them.
Yep, the small amount of semen ejaculated is just ever so much more a vast expenditure of energy than the entire 9 months of gestation. These guys make zero sense at all levels.