CONTENT WARNING: People talking about Elon Musk’s penis.
So anyway the story is that back in 2016 a SpaceX flight attendant accused her boss, Elon Musk, of showing her his erect penis and offering her a horse for a hand job. ( No, really.) She declined the, er, offer, reported the incident to SpaceX and they paid her $250,000 to just kind of go away. I don’t think she got the horse.
Insider got its hands on the legal documents surrounding this case and came out with an article about it yesterday. Musk quickly denied the allegations — then what was that quarter-of-a-million dollar payout for? — and claimed they were part of some sort of political take-down plot.
He joked about calling the scandal #Elonggate, and challenged the accuser to, well, describe his dick to the world to prove she had really seen it.
Naturally, Twitterers took the opportunity to do something they probably won’t be able to do when (if?) Musk takes over Twitter: make endless jokes about Elon Musk’s dong. Here are a few of them, before Musk gets the chance to send them down the old memory hole.
Meanwhile, Musk’s fanboys did their best to defend him, declaring that for one thing Musk has Asperger’s which I guess makes all criticism of him unfair.
Also, some of them thought it would be awesome to see his dick.
On a somewhat more serious note, GUYS STOP TAKING OUT YOUR PENIS IN FRONT OF PEOPLE WHO DON’T WANT TO SEE IT or feel it or have anything whatsoever to do with it. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE THIS PERSON’S BOSS.
I second the call to fuck him.
Here’s a remarkably prescient scene from Seinfeld that I can’t stop thinking about today for some reason.
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@Buttercup: That made me laugh today. I think we would have gotten along in high school.
If you haven’t embarrassed yourself at least once in high school, you’ve probably done it wrong.
The last I heard, QAnon did lose a lot of followers, and the remainder have split roughly into two groups. One group has gone overtly antisemitic and the other looks at that group and goes “ew, no.”
Hi! I’m back and my shift key works now!
re: Cyborgette
Technological singularity… yes, the singularity is coming, and the ideal future will be the future in which all of humanity is uploaded to a supercomputer powered by a dyson sphere using the energy to run infinite simulations that people live in. Essentially, immortality being used to play video games for eternity. Yes it’s a childish theory but seriously tell me a better world that you can imagine. As for space exploration, just send unmanned probes and have some of the people simulate as if they are viewing through the craft and analyzing the data. Robots keep the space station intact and healthy while people exist entirely in the simulation.
Of course none of this could happen if the world gets destroyed by climate change…
On another note on Jan 6 I actually worried that democracy would die right there.
Seriously I told my family way before Q/Trump/Jan 6 that the US is doomed due to fascist ideologies. They thought I was joking around or something but I was dead serious and “I told you so” now the prediction was made by a semi-quacky libertarian I used to idolize, Richard “Uncle Eric” Maybury, but it’s still correct.
re: Banned@4chan
I didn’t know about that particular hazard of Teslas but thanks for proving me right! I learned about the aesthetics thing in either WaPo or the NY Times, can’t remember.
Hi I’m back and my shift key works now! 🙂
If you are reading this @David Futrelle
Please delete the first section of my post about the singularity. It’s embarrassing and comes from an ungrammatical in-character rant in a short story I’m writing… not my own thoughts.
Of course none of this could happen if the world gets destroyed by climate change…
On another note on Jan 6 I actually worried that democracy would die right there.
Seriously I told my family way before Q/Trump/Jan 6 that the US is doomed due to fascist ideologies. They thought I was joking around or something but I was dead serious and “I told you so” now the prediction was made by a semi-quacky libertarian I used to idolize, Richard “Uncle Eric” Maybury, but it’s still correct.
re: Banned@4chan
I didn’t know about that particular hazard of Teslas but thanks for proving me right! I learned about the aesthetics thing in either WaPo or the NY Times, can’t remember.
@Buttercup – You reminded me of a video circulating on YouTube: a man from France has a job interview in English and the way he pronounces “happiness” sounds like “a penis” (it’s all pretty silly and I think it’s an ad for some language teaching service, but that part made me giggle).
@Feeling Betrayed – Yeah, you’re definitely not alone in worrying about the state of U.S. government before and on Jan. 6! I was watching that on TV a few hours after it happened – from Canada – so I didn’t know the extent of it at first, but if the crowd had succeeded in forming a Trumpocracy… Let’s be glad they were relatively disorganized.
(Also, no shade to individuals being disorganized – I have ADHD and am terrible at time organization sometimes. I mean, since there were a lot of people converging on one place, they could have had better group planning.)
@GSS – I think we would have too! High school is such a fascinatingly weird combination of social cluelessness, lack of inhibition, and excruciating self-consciousness.
It certainly hasn’t escaped my notice that if the American republic goes TU, 90% of Canada’s population is seated squarely in the splash zone … I’ve been keeping a close eye on the politics of our huge and unruly neighbor to the south ever since the shrub launched his mid-east wars.
Just so you know, I do not endorse the beliefs in my earlier “Re:Cyborgette” comment. Said beliefs were a copy+paste accident from a short story I am currently writing, from the villain’s rant. I am not stupid enough to believe that a videogame world is optimal.
Sorry, late to the discussion, getting caught up on the last week’s posts. I heard about this incident and the hypothesis that Musk didn’t join the Twitter board because this would come up in his background check, and then the hypothesis that he bought Twitter because he wanted to stop people talking about him exposing himself and other bad behaviour/bad practice.
On a humorous note, the new centre for the local adult autism service, where my employer also has offices, has named all the rooms after autistic/potentially historically autistic people. We refer to the toilets as the Elon Musk Suite.