CONTENT WARNING: People talking about Elon Musk’s penis.
So anyway the story is that back in 2016 a SpaceX flight attendant accused her boss, Elon Musk, of showing her his erect penis and offering her a horse for a hand job. ( No, really.) She declined the, er, offer, reported the incident to SpaceX and they paid her $250,000 to just kind of go away. I don’t think she got the horse.
Insider got its hands on the legal documents surrounding this case and came out with an article about it yesterday. Musk quickly denied the allegations — then what was that quarter-of-a-million dollar payout for? — and claimed they were part of some sort of political take-down plot.
He joked about calling the scandal #Elonggate, and challenged the accuser to, well, describe his dick to the world to prove she had really seen it.
Naturally, Twitterers took the opportunity to do something they probably won’t be able to do when (if?) Musk takes over Twitter: make endless jokes about Elon Musk’s dong. Here are a few of them, before Musk gets the chance to send them down the old memory hole.
Meanwhile, Musk’s fanboys did their best to defend him, declaring that for one thing Musk has Asperger’s which I guess makes all criticism of him unfair.
Also, some of them thought it would be awesome to see his dick.
On a somewhat more serious note, GUYS STOP TAKING OUT YOUR PENIS IN FRONT OF PEOPLE WHO DON’T WANT TO SEE IT or feel it or have anything whatsoever to do with it. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE THIS PERSON’S BOSS.
I second the call to fuck him.
Here’s a remarkably prescient scene from Seinfeld that I can’t stop thinking about today for some reason.
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I despise the “name 5 unique features of my cock” defense.
It’s just “oh yeah? I shocked you by whipping out my dick out of nowhere and pressuring you as an employee to sexual pleasure me? Well if that happend you *of course* would have take n the time to have a good, long look adn memorize every detail of my goblin weiner. You MUST have made sure to impress into your permanent memory. ”
I’ve never been flashed or propositioned by my boss but I’m pretty sure my first reaction would be to panick and look AWAY in shock, not get down on my knees to take a a good long look to help my future lawsuit.
I’m pretty sure that after the 500th unwanted dick pic penises look all the same to someone, whether in the flesh or not. Ask any woman who’s the recipient of seeing one when they’d really rather not.
That’s pretty much all I have to say at the moment about the situation, as some of my thoughts on what should happen to Elon Musk probably violate comments policy, and involve medieval siege weaponry.
I’ve seen a lot of dicks in my life. The only one I could actually give you a description of is my husband’s. Not something that probably got flashed at me for a minute
But if I was here I probably be like “it was remarkably small and the head had a green tint to it. Hairless like a baby. And the flesh looked like scales. ” Just to humiliate the fucker
I also don’t believe in the “you should be able to pick the penis out of a line up thing ” either because one time I sent my husband a bunch of pictures or breast that looked similar to mine and then a picture of mine. Asked him if he could pick out which one were mind. He chose the wrong ones. Despite seeing my breast everyday for several years.
Musk would have to have like a tattoo on his penis or a piercing to make it stand out from anyone else’s to be honest
Just a hunch, but I’m guessing Elon’s Twitter deal is going to fall through sooner or later.
@Elaine – That didn’t go so well for Donald Trump either, when Stormy Daniels seared the image of a small mushroom into the public’s consciousness. In theory, she could invent any description she wants and then put the onus back on Musk to disprove it.
And the horse he rode in on.
@ittybittyphoenix:
“I despise the “name 5 unique features of my cock” defense.”
Completely agree with you; however, being able to say, “Well, it was attached to an asshole” would give me unbounded pleasure–unlike the bit of anatomy in question.
And, no, I’m not hating on *all* peni (I think that’s the plural though my high school Latin is *extremely* rusty) just those attached to certain types of men.
Also, he’s lucky she didn’t just laugh and point though, I imagine, in his entitled mind, that would be a fireable offense.
@ redsilkphoenix
Thank you for that; it was interesting.
That sounds though like whomever drafted the injunction slipped up. Injunctions always include a clause that prohibits exactly that kind of get around. Here’s a standard type of injunction order. It’s from England; but all common law countries use a similar format.
https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/688442/n16-eng.pdf
Ironically, but perhaps typically, the actual words I want to reference are all skewed on the official court service version. (This is why I normally draft my own).
But they say “…forbidden, whether by himself or through his agents or officers, or otherwise encouraging or permitting any other person…”
So that would have caught Leno out.
And yeah, that other bit about being compelled to give evidence does seem a bit sketchy. Although I am always very wary of news reports on legal proceedings. They are nearly always inaccurate or misunderstand exactly what went down.
@ buttercup
What has the poor horse done!
You have though reminded me of a great scene from an old Spaghetti western. Our protagonist, who is black, is trying to borrow a mule from a Mexican guy so he can catch up with the bad guys.
“I don’t think my mule wants to come with you.”
“I guess then your mule is prejudiced.”
“When it comes to getting his head blown off he’s downright bigoted.”
O/T. but I mentioned how we’re trying to build a repository of animal law judgments.
Well a friend (and some of his colleagues) have produced this.
I can’t pretend to understand it, but it seems very clever, and I’ve made appropriate comments on LinkedIn and Twitter that imply I do.
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10506-022-09313-y
@Alan:
Don’t worry! It’s just a colloquial expression (“F*** you and the horse you rode in on”), meant to tell off someone who’s not only unwelcome, but full of themselves. Presumably, it’s a high horse.
Donald Regan, who was Secretary of the Treasury under Ronald Reagan, was so fond of the phrase he had “And The Horse You Rode In On” painted onto the spine of a book in the background of his official state portrait.
Regardless, I do hope Elon Musk’s bribe horse has found better pastures to graze in.
@ buttercup
Well they do like their ketamine.
Our illustrious leader had a similar experience recently.
Ironically, it wasn’t aimed at him. The library staff were having an issue with management.
I was cornered and flashed by someone. I couldn’t describe the dick either. It’s not like I was going to whip out my phone and take a picture. I was solely focused on getting out of there.
You realize that this is yet another one women can’t win: let’s suppose a sexual harassment plaintiff *can* provide a detailed photographic memory of the offender’s tallywhacker. “Oh, so you like looking at dicks! (Slut.)”
as an aspie lady and former musk fangirl this is awful and horrible. ever since the safety scandals i felt like he really has depreciated as a person… for those who aren’t aware teslas are actually very dangerous because elon musk insists on just using cameras and not radar/lidar for asthetic purposes. just to make his cars look better he is willing to kill people. that soceopath… not to mention the whole racism garbage and the fact that spacex’s startup capital came from his inheretance… from apartheid…
huge nerd as a kid and i felt having a fellow nerd not to mention asp in charge was a good thing for the world and i have been proven wrong
now i personally feel mary barra ,ceo of gm, is going to save the world, elon musk is too busy going to space and harrassing the space flight atendants. mary barra is my hero now
seriously what good have techbros ever done for the world besides overpriced gadgets? even as an apple buyer i have to admit that. i am no luddite but people like peter theil and elon musk are more likely to destroy the world than save it… the rising tides both metaphorical and literal will overwhelm the world, and just last night i woke up terrified having a nightmare about climate change we must all be afraid be very afraid. the twin tides of fascism and literal rising tides from climate change will divide and conquer.
this is a stupid pet theory but what if q is chinese. what if q, the q from qanon is a chinese spy working against the us. or russian or alien. q is a threat to all of us. the rising twin tides. the end is coming.
sorry for no caps, my shift key is not working and my computer is just not working well. lots of typos. sorry for ranting very long but i just wanted to make my point
The correct answer anyone should give when asked to identify it, is of course:
“It resembled a penis, but it was too small to be one.”
@ObSidJag: “penes”. Also I agree that pointing and laughing, as well as “attached to an asshole” are excellent responses.
@Alan: I’m sure the library staff decided it would do as a backdrop for him, too.
Sort of related.
This is actually a myth; but still marginally interesting.
Even for an enthusiastic bi bloke who very much wants those dick pics, they get very samey after a while. They’re all just variations on the same theme, and if you don’t have a good visual memory it’s impossible to say what was distinctive even about the ones you liked.
In other news, you probably won’t be surprised to learn that Bill Maher has gone full TERF.
Elon Musk deserves the ridicule, but it must have been really stressful for the other person! I mean, having a boss with a controlling, micro-managing attitude is already stressful, even without the sexual harrasment (I speak from experience).
@Buttercup Q. Skullpants – At my high school, “fuck you, but not in a sexual way” was supposed to be very scathing! (I also found “not in a sexual way” hilarious when added to random things, e.g. “I like chocolate chip cookies…but not in a sexual way.”) Tsk, tsk, kids
thesethose days.@feeling betrayed – Yeah, I’m scared of what climate change will bring too, and I’m not sure making “overpriced gadgets” (and recreational space flights, no matter how cool) is the best way to go about it. On the other hand, it’s encouraging that more car companies are producing EVs – my parents were able to afford a Mitsubishi one, though the cheaper/smaller version they got isn’t being produced anymore, so it’s expensive to get repairs.
Anyway, is “Q” still around?? I thought their big thing was that they predicted Trump would magically win an election he lost. You’d think people would see they were blatantly wrong (as in incorrect, not just bad).
To be fair when women take nude pictures of themselves, they usually put a lot of work into it. At least know how to take a good photo. Look really good, like a work of art. When men take dic pics. They take it like a guy showing you a fish he just caught. Or it’s like my 62 year old mother taking a blurry picture of the flowers in her garden. It’s like suddenly these dudes have never held a camera in their life and can’t suddenly work it.
@epitome of incomprehensibility:
Ah, the things that make you laugh in high school. We thought it was the height of hilarity to talk like preppies by adding -ness to the end of words (“Cuteness! Lunchness! Algebraness!”). That lasted until one day at the mall when we walked into a clothes store and spotted a rack of OP (Ocean Pacific) shirts. My friend exclaimed “O.P.NESS!” really, really loudly. Heads turned. We slunk out of there as fast as we could, and that was the end of that fad.
I thought Teslas were dangerous because passengers in the rear would become trapped whenever the vehicle loses power, like when the battery is compromised, or because of the especially intense fires if the battery is compromised
https://mobile.twitter.com/wtyppod/status/1384565697100066816
@LouCPurr
Misogynistic old cis men trying to pinkwash their misogyny with a bunch of transphobia… what else is new. 🙁
@feeling betrayed
Yeah, there’s… kind of a whole cult complex around people like Musk, and technological solutionism in general. e.g. the Technological Singularity that was so in vogue in the mid 2000s, which was basically just a repackaging of the Rapture, but less judgmental and with more nerd appeal. Groups like LessWrong weaponize that even further, basically creating personality cults around Singularity preachers, pretty much designed to suck in vulnerable autistic people who’ve felt excluded from other religions and movements. And a lot of times, the ones who get the worst of it are autistic women.
Re Q, IIRC it’s been pretty well proven that the account belonged to a then-current owner of 8chan. Just a one-man fascist propaganda job that exploded, though authoritarian powers like Russia have been quick to take advantage.
@epitome
Yes they’re still around, if anything I think the movement has grown. Historically it’s pretty common for cults to survive the failure of their apocalypse, even grow and get more fervent afterwards.