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WARNING for water-drinking cervix-havers (and cervix-having water-drinkers) but not for water-drinking cervixes

Remember to check BOTH of your cervixes!

On this lazy Saturday I’m gathering together a little collection of mansplainations I found catalogued on Reddit.

First, a public service announcement for uterus-having water-drinkers. Be careful out there!

Here’s a little lesson in Gropanomics:

Here’s a contribution from a guy who DEFINITELY gets laid on the regular, thank you very much.

I hope this next guy is an incel, because he really shouldn’t be having sex with anybody.

Checkmate indeed.

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Full Metal Ox
2 years ago

Probable thought that the Mad Science was asspulled to justify: a woman drinking directly from a bottle is unladylike and provocative because it resembles fellatio.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

What is “wamyn”

Is it what this guy thinks is a clever play on “womyn”? Which feminists haven’t even used since the 1970’s anyway?

Anyway, it’s real cute that other guy doesn’t think that women never laugh off or ignore a grope. Not because we’re cool with it. To avoid a violent retaliation if we object.

Gerald Fnord
Gerald Fnord
2 years ago

Think of the incalculable damage done to a uterus if its transport system were to drink water in the wrong manner while learning mathematics!

As for men’s reactions to being groped: ‘homosexual panic’ is no longer used as a defence for a charge of assault or of homicide with the regularity it enjoyed in former times, but I’ll be it’s still on the table in some jurisdictions.

Leto
Leto
2 years ago

Great posts lately, thanks.

Crip Dyke
Crip Dyke
2 years ago

“If you were really an adult, you’d suck my dick” is oh-so-definitely one of the least trolling tweets I’ve ever seen, dude. You’re definitely not being “provocative”. Oh, no.

Janipurr
Janipurr
2 years ago

Here’s an incel who’s not dangerous at all, nope:https://www.latimes.com/socal/daily-pilot/

.45
.45
2 years ago

As far as men not taking groping very seriously, and being one of those that has experienced such “horseplay”, that might just be because as much as it is offensive, it is often meant as a joke and there is no real fear that other men will corner another alone, get them drunk or spike their drink, actually assault them, etc, etc.

I have been touched, groped, and hit with various politically incorrect gay jokes because of my less than impressive frame, but it has never gone any further and is quite unlikely to, because the goal is not to do me harm, but to get a laugh out of those assembled. Even my poorly calibrated social skills can tell that much.

Interestingly, the response most guys favor, joining in the laughter and generally not taking it seriously so as not to provoke further activities (it isn’t as fun when they just laugh a little and take it in stride), is rather similar to that of a woman doing the same, except she has much more at stake. I suppose that point would be lost on the author of that post.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
2 years ago

Any unfeminine behavior, from horseback riding to traveling by train, has always been discouraged with this “weakens the uterus” nonsense. I guess now women aren’t supposed to even stand up, or have any internal organs at all other than a uterus.

(If he thinks a few ounces of water weighs a lot, wait till he finds out that a woman’s internal organs weigh around 15-20 pounds – and that’s not including food currently in the process of being digested.)

It’s a wonder anyone has ever had a baby at all, what with our uteri being made of cobwebs and the delicate tinkling of fairy bells.

Surplus to Requirements
Surplus to Requirements
2 years ago

@Nequam:

All I get is “//2ft removing paywall” and a little spinny circle. No article text or anything.

@various:

Is anyone else getting an annoying warning popup about cross-site scripting every time they reload this page?

@Wuhan Wet Market:

Re: apocalypse

Your shipping dept. appears to have sent me the wrong apocalypse. I wanted one that would bring world capitalism to crashing ruin and let the meek inherit the earth. I survived the one you shipped but all I got was this shitty face mask, while capitalism seems to be alive and well. What a disappointing fiasco. I want my money back. 😛

epitome of incomprehensibility

@Buttercup Q. Skullpants – apparently they think women are empty inside (in the literal sense), because they wrote this:

the force of the drunk water is directly exerted in the uterus

Let’s see: swallowing takes liquid down the esophagus, into the stomach, then the small intestine, where it’s absorbed in the blood, filtered by the kidneys, and then goes into the bladder and out the urethera when you pee (I got in the wrong order the first time, but anyway). The whole process takes at least half an hour, which is why you don’t need to pee right after drinking water.

So no, drinking water isn’t going to be a jolt to the uterus.

(Also, you have to drink a lot of water at once for it to be dangerous, and the danger is for way different reasons – something about a low sodium/water ratio? Or if you have kidney problems, it could put stress on the kidneys. Again, nothing to do with the uterus.)

Last edited 2 years ago by epitome of incomprehensibility
epitome of incomprehensibility

OT, but on the topic of medical stuff: I might have COVID. And it’s annoying, because I just finished my university term and was looking forward to spending some time at the (non-school) library. But in another way I’m lucky: so far I don’t have a fever, just a headache and sore throat.

The rapid test result had a very faint second line, but the Quebec website said even a faint line could indicate a positive result. They also recommended taking the test again after 24 hours, so that’s what I’ll do.

(But even if I don’t have it, I at least have a cold, so I shouldn’t be gallivanting around anyway. Just wanted to vent.)

Surplus to Requirements
Surplus to Requirements
2 years ago

OT, but I’ve had a scary thought about Putin. Specifically, something he could do to punish Ukraine for its intransigence that’s less likely to provoke a nuclear retaliation, and more deniable, while being in its own way just as destructive as using battlefield nukes.

As I recall, after it was wiped out in the wild, smallpox survived in captivity in exactly two locations: bio-research labs, one in the US and one in Russia.

The deniability would come from Putin being able to suggest that the US let it loose as a false flag attack that would be blamed on Russia.

Of course, if Putin did such a thing it wouldn’t stay in Ukraine. Indeed, Russia is one of the first places it would spread to, and when it spread to the troops it would likely hit both sides equally. Unless of course Putin quietly has been vaccinating Russia’s troops, along with its VIPs, himself, and maybe even the general citizenry there.

As for the rest of the world, well, collateral damage sometimes happens in a war, doesn’t it?

The even scarier thought: maybe he already released it and it’s been quietly spreading for weeks. I’m not even sure what would reassure me that it had not.

Katherine the Adequate
Katherine the Adequate
2 years ago

I never take medical advice for people who can’t manage at least sixth-grade level proficiency in writing.

Also, with the last one, I hope he’s on law enforcement’s radar.

Last edited 2 years ago by Katherine the Adequate
Impatient and Gorgeous Bitch Becky
Impatient and Gorgeous Bitch Becky
2 years ago

The ignorance combined with arrogance here is appalling. Great job to the author of the blog on mocking this bullshit.

My boss and dear friend reads this blog off and on. After reading through the comments I see why she likes it.

First comment here for me. I believe one of the regulars here raved at the joy of seeing the array of diverse interests. I agree most definitely.

Last edited 2 years ago by Impatient and Gorgeous Bitch Becky
ittybittyphoenix
ittybittyphoenix
2 years ago

Oooh this was reddit gold right here.

My theory is that some people have come to be so comfortable seeing women as just meat sacks helping uterus and vaginas walk around (with titties on top for aesthetics) that they have come to literally think of women as empty meat shells holding a uterus.Basically a woman only exists to please or serve men, and a liver or pancreas doesn’t do that, so women simply must not have them.

Once you achieve that mental low point, it makes sense that anything a woman consumes would directly (and literally) impact her uterus. Drinking and eating is like tossing stuff into a warm, dark fleshy walled well with a soft vulnerable baby sack sitting at the bottom. You gotta swallow soft food gently or it will bonk the baby machine real bad.

Basically, it comes down to the idea that women only exist to please or serve men. A woman’s liver would do no neither, so she…just doesn’t have one.