So a couple of days ago a Redditor stopped by the Antifeminists subreddit in search of some advice. Seems his girlfriend is a feminist, and by golly she won’t shut up about it. “[S[he’s giving me a hard time and headache” wrote yournftmaker, “what should I say or do ,hellpp.”
You will not be shocked to learn that the gentlemen of that subreddit advised him to get out, and quick. “If she’s in that cult and already drank that Koolaid,” one advised, “your best bet is to run for the hills.”
But the most detailed advice came from a fellow called AirSailer, who seemed to be speaking from bitter experience.
As someone who was married to a feminist I can tell you with 100% certainty that if you are not a feminist (and you don’t plan on becoming one) then you are 100% incompatible with her. There is no tolerance in feminism for anyone who does not support feminism, so you are in a relationship with someone who has no tolerance for your viewpoints.
I’m not sure this is necessarily the case, but certainly if the first place you go to for feminist-girlfriend-related advice is the Antifeminists subreddit, your relationship isn’t going to last.
Her idiology will eventually require that you give up your masculine qualities and adopt behaviors that in no way benefit you and are solely intended for her benefit. Be aware that this will happen under the guise of making her more attracted to you when in reality she will become less attracted to you since she, as a feminist, is incapable of reconciling her disdain of masculinity with her physical desire for a masculine mate. Eventually she will blame her lack of desire on you and will step out on your relationship.
Huh. Or maybe she’ll just leave you because YOU’RE THE KIND OF GUY WHO WOULD GO TO THE ANTIFEMINISTS SUBREDDIT FOR ADVICE.
Regardless of your level of shared idiology you can expect to become the sole source of all of her insecurities, perceived injustices, and inadequacies… Eventually she will project on YOU all the perceived injustices that women everywhere have to “endure”. She will then resent you for that, but not until you get married and she locks you into paying her court-ordered free income via the family court system.
I would kind of like to hear her side of the story.
Feminists are incapable of normal intimate human relationships, I advise you to GTFO now.
Well, they may be incapable of a normal intimate human relationship with YOU, dude who posts advice in the Antifeminists subreddit.
One commenter was so inspired by AirSailer’s advice that he made up a little story of his own.
“When I was in college,” said Normal-Yogurtcloset5 ,
I would see guys who dated feminists and did their best to become attractive to them…stop eating meat, be skinny and physically non-threatening, speak with feminine inflections in their voice, not contradict a woman, etc. Those guys would inevitably find that their girlfriend was cheating on them with some very masculine guy who lifted weights, at meat, didn’t subscribe to feminism and basically was everything they said they didn’t want in a man.
The chances of any of this being true I would put at about one ini six billion.
For me, whenever I got into a debate with a feminist and, exasperated, she would say, “You’re too masculine”, I knew I would be getting some if not that night then soon afterwards.
And then the entire bus stood up and clapped.
Dudes, try to make your self-aggrandizing antifeminist bedtime stories at least a little bit plausible.
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Any bets that these guys are the same type who will screech about freeze peach and accuse the left of wanting an echo chamber?
Yeah, right.
I don’t think I have ever heard anyone describe a man as “too masculine”, maybe my friends are just real feminists rather than imaginary ones.
Oh my Invisible Pink Unicorn.
Women in general, and feminist women in particular, are not a monolith.
I’m fairly sure that people hanging out in an anti feminist group aren’t going to be attractive to feminists. Regardless of canthal tilt or wrists or whatever.
This didn’t happen. In fact, it didn’t happen so much, it made things that actually did happen unhappen.
It’s always fascinating how wide the gulf is between what these guys define as attractive in men, and what women in the real world actually find attractive in men. Men like this fetishize muscles, guns, athletes, and action heroes, things that symbolize the physical domination they aspire to. Being rather solipsistic, they assume these are things that women also fetishize (including, of course, feminists). If you tell them otherwise, if you point out that very few teenage girls have posters of bodybuilders, jet pilots, and billionaires in their lockers, and that plenty of women go gaga over slender, intelligent, nerdy men, they indignantly move the goalposts and insist that women just don’t know what they really want and THEY know better.
I guess they’re hoping that if they paint feminists as fickle and hypocritical when it comes to sex, then anything else they claim to want can be ignored?
That’s a real thing that can really happen but it’s not feminism that causes it. It’s the insecurities and bullshit social expectations.
@numerobis: Of course, these guys have no insecurities they will ever project onto their partners, right? No arbitrary demands? No emotional work they need to do?
(To be clear: Not disagreeing, just amplifying your point 🙂 ).
Sure, Jan.
@Buttercup: The girls these days are all swoony over the K-pop singers. Which really annoys these kind of “men” even more, because of course Asian guys can’t possibly be hot and manly (I wonder how they explain the billions of Asians existing if there’s no sex happening?). I, um, may or may not have a K-pop calendar in my eyeline right now. And a skinny tech nerd sitting next to me.
Meanwhile, what they’re describing as the ultimate in men… I guess they are? To some women and a fair amount of gay men.
It’s like Tucker’s video about the crisis in manhood that looked like gay erotica. The Mr. was befuddled looking at that one. He couldn’t fathom that it was supposed to encourage straight men. (Also, I think the thought of testicle tanning caused his to retract. He certainly winced).
@GSS K-pop, yasss. Some women do go for brawny, muscular types, but it isn’t something hardwired into everybody. I suppose incels like to tell themselves that, because if they acknowledged that skinny, negatively canthal tilted men with small wrists can also be successful in love, then they’d no longer have an excuse and would have to own up to their awful personalities.
Re: testicle tanning, someone on Twitter suggested Glow-Ball Warming as a hypothetical name for a testicle tanning salon. I’m partial to Family Joules, myself.
I “love” this phrasing. It’s equivalent to “this [member of group] has no tolerance for people who hate [group], so they’re being unreasonable and refusing to compromise.” As if holding principles (or basic self-respect) didn’t mean there were some things it would be wrong to compromise on…
@Unty: And it’s said in a thread where the advice is uniformly to not date such people. So there’s no tolerance for feminists among them, but they think that’s reasonable. It’s not just irrational and silly intolerance, it’s intolerance built on projection.
What do you want to bet their definition of feminist is any woman who has an opinion or does something they don’t approve of? I don’t sense much tolerance for the regular give and take of a relationship.
Happy Beltane Everyone!!!!
@Alan
“Sumer is icumen in….”
It’s not like the Beatles embodied the bodybuilder guns stereotype any better than BTS does now. It’s pretty much always been the case that teenage girls go for charm, wit, and talent over the uber-masculinism.
Here’s an example of a cute baby-faced Asian man who managed to pull off exactly the sort of multiple-timing, golddigging romantic scam that incels love to ascribe to women; he dated 35 different women to milk them for birthday presents (giving each a different birthdate, to assure a steady supply and avoid scheduling conflicts.)
https://www.independent.co.uk/asia/east-asia/japan-man-dating-women-gifts-b1836986.html
Discussed further on Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/news/comments/mym4li/japanese_man_arrested_after_dating_more_than_35/
Say the dudes who hang out on the antifeminism subreddit and spend their entire lives freaking out that the feminists are coming for their testicles?
Every accusation a confession, boys. Every accusation a confession.
The BTS members aren’t especially muscular for a kpop idol boy band, but Wonho (formerly Monsta X) certainly is. Indeed, muscular bodies and beautiful faces pretty much defines the look for male idols.
Here’s Minho from Shinee showing his torso in Dynamite:
https://youtu.be/a5g4zDfynrU
@Jazzlet
That one stood out to me too. I’ve had more arguments with misogynistic men than I can count, and never once did it occur to me that the problem was that they were “too masculine” lmao.
What’s the problem here?
I’d love these asshats to runs for the hills………..and, when they reach a coastline, dive into the sea……..and swim to Seagull Island.
Why hasn’t that subreddit been banned yet?
@Mrs. Morley: I confess I have spent many a pleasant minute looking at Wonho’s torso the past couple of years. He sings good too. Yet he’s got quite the ears.
Most K-pop idols have well-defined muscles, but they aren’t grotesquely swollen like the MRA boys believe all the girls want. More swimmers than weight lifters, and excuse me while I go take a cold shower.
@Dave: I came across a blog? Tumblr? something? that had a bunch of covers of Tiger Beat and such magazines from the 60s. Of course the Beatles (skinny kids who didn’t work out and never tanned) were number one, but there were also cover stores on the Dave Clark Five, and various young American bands or actors who were also far from buff. Mick and Keith have never been classically good-looking or swole, but they got all the girls for decades. Hell, maybe they still do.
@Buttercup: I salute both names.
Lo, the sound of the lawn mower doth celebrate Beltaine, for the warming of the globe means that nothing freezes over winter any more here, and it keeps growing e’en unto January. Going to have to fertilize the old rose bush (which normally needs no care) because it never stopped blooming for the first time since it became ours in the 90s.
“There is no tolerance in feminism for anyone who does not support women having equal rights and being treated as a full human being.”
@Mrs Morley, GSS ex-noob
re Minho specifically
As someone who worked out in a gym for elderly people in her 20’s (long story, short version: it was because of the American medical system and a lack of doctors being willing to prescribe PT after surgery due to the problems obviously being caused by me being too fat and not, you know, the surgery), I saw what happened to the clientele when the gym ownership changed. The original owner was extremely anti-steroids and pro-health. He retired and sold it. The new owners were, uh… significantly enhanced and encouraged this indirectly in the gym clientele, which began to skew younger almost immediately.
All this to say, from my admittedly non-medical but very observant eye, I reckon Minho could get that body without taking steroids although he’s definitely following a diet lacking in carbs. The type of enormous jacked body like, for example, Schwarzenegger when he was younger or The Rock now, are not possible without boosting. Even movie stars, there’s just no way the vast majority of them are pulling off their results clean. All of the Batmans since Bale have taken steroids, I would bet 5 years’ pay on it. I don’t think incels realize that necessarily when they idolize that kind of physique and people lie and say “oh it was all training and I ate fish and broccoli for 4 months and then bam! I looked like this after years of not looking like this!” It’s really, really physically unhealthy and relies on drugs, looking like that.
I mean I think Minho’s look is also unhealthy due to the strict diet to maintain that low body fat being really miserable and mentally taxing, and in women having manifest health effects (so I reckon just having more invisible ones in men), but it is achievable by anyone with the drive to do it (barring physical issues). It is a realistic dream.
First off, I believe that a feminist seeks equal legal and social rights for women. If that’s what these guys have an issue with, so be it.
Second, I just don’t believe what these guys say about the women who dumped them for big muscled he-men. I myself rather prefer slim built and soft spoken guys with brains who are not too big or tall and I don’t much care for muscled he-men types. The OP sounds like a jerk. Lol.
This thread is reminding me of this comic: https://www.shortpacked.com/comic/false-equivalence
By a dude, but accurate for a lot of women IME. And certainly 100% accurate for me.
(It’s part of why so many men look better with masks! Emphasizes the eyes, hides the scruffy dirty beard and chapped lips.)