I found some lovely dating advice for frugal men in a discussion of dating apps on the Men’s Rights subreddit.
I have some, er, suggestions of my own for ThisIsSevenOfSwords, but I’m not sure any of them are suitable for publication.
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So the commenter is SevenofSwords? He’s referencing the Tarot deck.
Here’s what Wikipedia says:
I guess his seven swords are as blunt as his brain.
I doubt his typical reader has invested any of their assets in tact.
I’m intrigued by the assumption that Oogaboogastanis are A. going to be willing to offer their daughter to a random American and B. not going to charge him a great deal for her if they are.
I’m minded of a conversation I once had with a coworker from a nation ending in ‘-stan’, who was blown away to discover the concept of a dowry, as opposed to bride-price. “I had to pay thirty thousand American dollars for my wife,” he told me. “I mean, she was worth it! She’s a beautiful woman, very educated, an electrical engineer. But I was in graduate school, and getting the money was really hard. Why would someone give a man his daughter AND money?”
It would be great if they’d move to their own planet somewhere. One uninhabited before their arrival so as not to subject any living thing to their, um, charm.
@David: You might want to take shelter. I’m about to facepalm hard enough to register on every seismograph between San Francisco and Beijing.
Where, geographically, is Oogaboogastan? Is it in Africa, or is it part of the former Soviet bloc?
Let’s split the difference and put it in the middle of the Persian Gulf, which is the perfect spot for these guys to start a family.
@Kat
Oooh, good catch there! He picked a fitting username, then?
Wherever and whatever Oogaboogastan is, with its cheap and desperate women (I’m sure they all weigh exactly 80 lbs too), the OP clearly doesn’t understand that the ladies thereof who get attention from Americans usually expect to get married (the horror), receive plenty of money and other good things, and eventually emigrate to the United States with the Ugly American who woos them, along with their families.
Last time I checked, it cost ten to twenty thousand for an Oogaboogastani bride, and that was just the finder’s fee (sarc). The marriage and life afterwards helping his new in-laws will follow.(Events based on some real-life situations that I learned about).
Sometimes, the Feds get involved in fraudulent green card deals too. It’s a very sad thing and lawyers and prison terms are even more expensive.
The OP might consider that it’s cheaper to harass ordinary local women, even if they do want him to get a job.
@Buttercup. I couldn’t agree more! Besides, these guys think they are geniuses, so just because the Persian Gulf does not contain dry land does not mean they couldn’t find some place to start a family.
Checking on the Reddit, I didn’t see any critical replies to his comment. And he had five upvotes.
But men’s rights groups aren’t bigoted!
There’s MONEY in the OOGA-BOOGA STAND!
@ buttercup
If you find out, can you let Boris Johnson know so we can see if they’re up for a post Brexit trade deal?
I thought he’s too busy solving the Muntab question.
Pretty sure Boris is busy thinking up some new insult towards the Ooogaboogastanians and/or checking on their local kind of booze.
These guys also severely underestimate the ability of other nations to keep undesirables out, and their dislike of random American men a) showing up b) moving in on the native women. The kind of women they’re interested in go for much more money than they have, as @Podkayne’s co-worker can attest.
Honestly, just move to rural Nevada and patronize brothels. The ladies will patronize them (other meaning) right back, I’m sure. Or try some Southern hellhole state where they can marry a teenager and live cheaply.
@Kat: oooh, good catch! Spot on. LOL.
Here I thought Oogaboogastan was the land from King’s Quest VII. You know, the one populated by beings that can remove their own spinal cords at will?
(If that isn’t the case: I only played KQ7 once and that was years ago)
I believe that place is named “Congress”.