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If she can pick up pencils with her hoo-hah, she’s probably not a virgin, and other vaginal insights from dudes who don’t have one

Note: If your vulva looks like this, see a doctor immediately

Today, some vaginal wisdom from dudes who do not have vaginas of their own, which might have helped with the fact-checking.

The Pencil Test:

Men, even today, would rather marry a virgin than not, but a virgin woman today is like trying to find a needle in a hay stack. The reason why men would indeed prefer to marry a virgin woman is because when a virgin bride marries a man, a woman's vagina is molded to the man to whom she married, and that is a virgin brides vagina is becomes a mold to her man's penis, and if a woman then cheats on her husband, the husband of a virgin bride then knows her wife has cheated on him because that mold has been broken, lol. Although this is true, women can also do vagina exercises that strengthen their vagina muscles, and allow a women to then control her vagina in pleasing any man she may lay with, and if a woman trains and maintains the muscles in her vagina, she can then even pick up a pencil with her vagina from just having control of the muscles in her vagina, lol, and when a woman has such control of her vagina muscles, can fool any man with regards to her faithfulness to him.

Pussy Social Visit:

Why do women even need gynecologists? It's just another excuse for women to pretend their vaginas have so many problems and get the gender oriented pity party they crave. In reality, it's little more than a pussy social visit and a puff of perfume. Let's face it. If womens vaginas really did have enough problems to warrant going to a doctor, then that's because they can't keep their legs closed and use them too much to manipulate men. This is why I'm MGTOW. 
For the record, there's a medical specialty called urology which is specifically a penis doctor. Women only need to go to a gyno if they're sexually active or have a specific problem.

Holes Big Enough to Trap 50 Pinoy Miners:


Replying Lc. We're talking about genitalia here. Women nowadays ravage their "precious" part with tools and shit stretching it out, prolapsing it. No wonder half them on here complain ab dick sizes. They're creating holes big enough to trap 50 Pinoy miners. Your point is irrelevant

Through Her Cervix:

At Least He’s Asking Questions:

Strange post alert!!! When a girl masturbates either by hand or toy, some creamy fluid flows from her vagina. The question is, where does this creamy fluid aka girl cum come from. We all know the female body doesn't produce semen so where does vaginal discharge come from. Could it be man's actual semen assuming maybe she had sex the day before. I've always thought vaginal discharge is nothing but accumulation of all those guys that have ejaculated in her. Doctors in the house, please elaborate 
B) Like 
22 comments

As it turns out, men are confused about more than just the vagina:

H/T — r/NotHowGirlsWork, r/BadWomensAnatomy and r/JustNeckbeardThings

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Dalillama
Dalillama
2 years ago

Men from patrilineal* cultures often prefer virgin brides because in the days before DNA testing that was the only way to be absolutely 100% sure that any resultant kids are theirs. Men from matrilineal cultures or those with other types of family/property arrangements commonly prefer brides who not only aren’t virgins but have already had a kid or two, because in a low tech society fertility is a huge fucking deal.

*Determining inheritance, family, etc. based on who your father is

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
2 years ago

I don’t think the molding part is how vaginas work OP.

Jazzlet
Jazzlet
2 years ago

Why would you pick a pencil up with your vagina? Using your feet would be easier, nevermind you know, your hands.

Also I don’t think he means “vaginal discharge” unless the woman has an infection, and how is it that he knows about this anyway? Does he watch a lot of woman masturbating?

Last edited 2 years ago by Jazzlet
Snowberry
Snowberry
2 years ago

You know, there is this newfangled thing called the internet. Which you are currently using? Also there are things called “search engines”. Which you can use to search for information. Any information. If it exists, a search engine can probably find it. Granted you might go down a false path or two if you have no idea what the proper terminology is. But if you’re going to discuss things, it’s worth knowing what you’re actually talking about.

I mean, it’s not even “I’m not going to look up what my enemies claim to believe because they lie anyway”. This is just anatomy, not ideology.

Last edited 2 years ago by Snowberry
opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
2 years ago

“through her cervix” GBH GBH GBH and potentially manslaughter* nobody ever ever ever let this person anywhere near any part of them ‘scuse me brb just going to go outside and scream for a bit

*like this person can be relied upon to have heard of the germ theory of disease or the concept of washing one’s hands

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
2 years ago

@opposablethumbs

You beat me to it. Plus things like “your finger may not be long enough to reach the cervix” and “a nulliparous cervix is longer than you think.” Also some rather vivid memories of Pap smears and how painful even a single-toothed tenaculum can be to dilate the cervix.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

I’ll just stick this here. I don’t know if anyone has read Jon Ronson’s book; but what’s bizarre about this is that the Fort Bragg demo really happened.

Lizzie
Lizzie
2 years ago

For any passing readers who are curious for some accurate information about anatomy, how people have sex, how relationships can be good – scarleteen.com will answer your questions.

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meani

Meanwhile, I’m reading that last tweet and literally wondering if these guys have ever looked in a real mirror and saw how hair works. How can someone reach adulthood and not learn hair can be parted any which way a person wants, anytime they want? Or is that another thing only men can do; women hair being some sort of hair-shaped plastic head covering that never changes or something. Or maybe women have Samson the hairlike Parasite from Skullgirls as their hair instead.

Or maybe the guy who originally tweeted that was joking around because otherwise that is taking ignorance of female bodies to another level there if serious. O.o

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
2 years ago

Recent conversation in the Parasol house:

Me (approaches Mr. Parasol with That Look on her face): I’ve got an intelligence test for you. Do you think you could stick your finger through my cervix?

Mr. Parasol (appalled look on his face): No.

Me: Congratulations. You passed with flying colors.

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
2 years ago

@Dalillama

Oh, interesting if true. I wonder if that’s part of why Jewish ideals of femininity are so different from (white) Christian ones IME. I’ve always felt like the Jewish culture I grew up with heavily emphasized the Mother archetype rather than the Maiden, so to speak. I wouldn’t call it healthier by any means, but it’s certainly different, and tends to confuse some of my Christian friends.

oncewasmagnificent
oncewasmagnificent
2 years ago

I think this guy is a time traveller from the 1960s. ‘Cos this reminded me about the time a bloke I only knew vaguely conveyed some interesting information he thought I – and the rest of the world presumably – should stop and consider.
He’d heard from a “reliable” source that Eastern women – I’m thinking Japanese (can’t remember exactly, it was 60 years ago) – had vaginas that ran east to west rather than the normal north to south of white women.
But he was 14 yrs old and had never done any biology/ anatomy. Of course back then we didn’t have any sex ed either, so heaven alone knows how/when/whether he eventually discovered the amazing truth.

Malintzin
Malintzin
2 years ago

None of these people make sense with regard to women’s bodies or actual relationships.. I think they would be flattered if any woman liked them, virgin or not.

Off topic, I have a number of family members who all married single moms with kids, .and they are all still married and happy for the most part. Now, all relationships have issues, but I have never once heard a complaint about their ladies’ lady parts.

These misogynist OPs don’t know what they’re talking about

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
2 years ago

Tell us you’re all virgins without telling us you’re all virgins.

Also, why specifically Pinoy miners? Miners come in all national/ethnic types

Fred B-C
2 years ago

I keep loving how much these guys get so bothered by the slightest indication that life isn’t about them and any idea that they should take personal responsibility. You keep on complaining about women’s genitalia in a way that indicates that you suck at pleasing women, an inference further supported by you clearly being a selfish, clueless asshole? Make excuses! Women you know keep on going to the doctor? Well, fuck them, there’s no valid medical reason for them to go!

@Parasol: Mr. Parasol is a braver man than I. The moment I read that I started going into cycles of extreme wincing. The thought of a finger through the cervix made my brain fucking hurt. It’s like thinking about those copper catheters.

Brassica
Brassica
2 years ago

I tried to envision picking up a pencil with my vagina, but got distracted because I couldn’t get past thinking about how much my knees and/or hips would complain if I attempted to put my vulva against the floor.

.45
.45
2 years ago

You know, when talking about strictly the ignorance of these guys, I kind of have to point a bigger finger at the excuses for anatomy in most cultures. I was in my thirties before learning how to pronounce “Labia” properly. To misunderstand or forget the location of the cervix isn’t much of stretch from there.

What I am saying is we tend to avoid the clinical terms and have a lot of vague slang like “pussy” that serves as a catch all term for basically everything going on from the vagina on down.

I guess I feel it is a little unfair to completely blame various people for misusing terms when they may have had next to no education on the terms. (And before anyone raises the point, why would they Google a term if they thought they were using it correctly? They don’t do that with any other term they misuse, and nobody except the Grammar Nazis and English Majors object to most of that.)

I do however, understand that this doesn’t forgive blatantly misogynist behavor. Just feeling a little forgiving on the whole cervix thing that keeps popping up. Seems somewhere the term came into use wrong and is now in circulation being used like “pussy”. I dunno. Maybe I should shut up. I’m running on less than four hours sleep right now.

Fred B-C
2 years ago

@.45: The problem is the arrogance, even for the clueless people. When you realize you’re talking about an organ you either don’t have and/or don’t know much about, you don’t talk about what you can do with it, how you can soothe pain associated with it, etc.

Gerald Fnord
Gerald Fnord
2 years ago

The ‘pencil-test’ dude seemed to be using ‘lol’ the way people who write [King James ]Bible-style ‘prophecy’ use ‘Lo!’.

Dave
Dave
2 years ago

Hey, I’m told it’s a very useful skill if you need to smuggle a pencil into prison.

Moggie
Moggie
2 years ago

Obviously the next trick after you’ve mastered the pencil thing is to sign your name with it.

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
2 years ago

Pencils aren’t that big around, so I suppose a sufficiently-motivated virgin could train her bits to pick one up. She’d still need incredibly flexible hips and knees, as @Brassica pointed out.