So I found an … intriguing Instagram dude calling himself patriarchal_phenomenon, and it seems like he’s got a lot of very useful advice for both men (who want to spend their lives alone) and women (who want to be miserable).
Let’ take a look, shall we?
“If he doesn’t control you, then he doesn’t care for you”
Never marry a woman who believes in gender equality, because they belong on the streets.
Watch out for those devious feminist witches! Who are actually men!
“Say no to your wife’s whimsical desires.”
Don’t let her be a cog in the capitalist machine. Make her a cog in your machine!
“Man leads, woman feeds.”
Ladies! If you’re a bad wife, don’t be shocked if your man leaves you for the maid.
Huh, this is an interesting graphic to choose for this post,
Forget the red pill. Every post from this guy is a giant red flag.
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That’s fine with me. In fact, I hope he hates me.
About the first pic: There is no “right” way to do patriarchy. The whole concept should be abandoned.
As always, personal responsibility for people like this are for marginalized people.
I’d sure rather live on the street than with this asshole.
‘Everybody needs money. Thatʼs why itʼs called “money”!’
—a Danny DeVito character in the movie “Heist”
I’ve seen Khrushchev-era Soviet military parade newsreels that had fewer red flags.
Well, *that* was truly a wretched way to start my morning (gotta remember: no reading about the manosphere before I’ve had coffee–or a *very* stiff drink. Just ugh).
’Superior masculine protection’ in quotes, as if to emphasize that it’s complete bs, and also that it’s a euphemism for something else (‘a lifetime of abuse’).
This guy is the equivalent of the angry small business owner offering minimum wage with no benefits and a “CLOSED – NO ONE WANTS TO WORK ANYMORE” sign on his door.
I had a look on his page. Apparently, he’s traumatized because there are straight couple where the husband cooks for everyone on a daily basis. So fragile…
I guess Mr. Parasol and I are doing marriage wrong. I do the cooking and most of the housecleaning, but he does laundry and other housecleaning, and for a goodly chunk of our marriage I’ve made more money than he does. The thought of controlling me usually results in him having a baffled expression.
*checks anniversary date*
*smug grin*
Yep. All wrong, for all these many years, and for many years to come.
@happy cat
I had a look too and he does have a weird obsession with women cooking for men.
I’m already doing those things. I’ve spent over 2 years now doing those things. It doesn’t seem to be making any difference. The pandemic won’t go away, now having long outlasted the duration of the 1918 one as well as having had more “waves”.
This seems to be the world signaling me that there’s more I’m supposed to be doing, but I can’t for the life of me figure out what. Does anyone know? Because clearly what I’ve been doing for all this time is insufficient or I’d be out of this and on the other side of it by now, as promised.
What do I need to do?
Hmmmm… one of my married siblings does the cooking and much of the cleaning in the house. This is apparently because the wife grew up in a household where her father did all that too, so she can’t cook. (To be fair, the mother-in-law seems like a overbearing pile of arrogance who simply didn’t and doesn’t contribute to much of anything. Glad to say she didn’t pass that charming character trait down to her daughter.)
@ Surplus to Requirements
Unfortunately, that little notice is not directed at you. You have done and are doing what you can. It is intended for people who aren’t vaccinated, staying home, etc, etc. I know you feel powerless and want to do something to help the situation, but at this point you are doing your part and can only wait. The pandemic doesn’t care what promises and opinions people have, it is what it is.
Hold the line. It’s all we can do right now.
@Happy Cat, Victorious Parasol: I’ve been married for 32 years and my husband has been the primary quartermaster/ provisioner/ chef for the entire time, while I’ve been the breadwinner. He’s a great cook to start with, but then he cooks to our specific family tastes as well. He can forage through (almost!) anybody’s fridge/cabinets and come up with an awesome meal in about 30-45 minutes — less time than it would take to clean up, drive to a restaurant, order dinner, and be served. It’s a true talent and has been one of the bedrocks of our home life.
And personally, I find cooking skills in a potential partner to be extraordinarily attractive.
It’s almost like good relationships build on the individual strengths of the partners or something…
Edited to add: yeah, any potential partner grabbing my face like that to “control” me or “tease” me would shortly be doubling over his crotch in pain.
“Wait”? Tried that already and it didn’t work. Any other suggestions?
Surplus, dealing with a pandemic is a group effort. If you’re doing your bit, that’s great – please keep up the good work. But it’s not just about what you the individual can do.
Signed, the healthcare geek who wishes she could stop dealing with COVID stuff, too.
@ surplus
You have to accept that covid is here to stay. So it’s just a matter of how you adapt to that.
https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-022-00057-y
But in the grand scheme of things, covid is irrelevant. There are far more serous pandemics on the way.
https://www.karger.com/Article/Fulltext/511192
But this is a choice we’ve made as a society.
Like with the environment, currently the changes we would need to make to prevent future harm aren’t ones that we are willing to make.
As is often the case there’s a balance between personal liberty and ‘the greater good’.
Maybe one day there will be a move towards the precautionary principle; but I suspect that’s something that will have to wait until the current generation of kids are in charge. Or maybe it will take a few generations.
But for now, all you can really do is adapt to the current situation; and learn to live with that.
At least we aren’t in Ukraine. Now that is a population facing a genuine existential threat.
But in the interim, and I don’t wish to downplay your struggles, but you have a roof over your head, readily available fresh water, and at least a rough idea of where your next meal is coming from. So many people don’t have that. In global terms we are the 1%.
We should be grateful for that.
Had a required Covid test today (results not back for a while) and was so pleased that not only did I get in early, but the swab wasn’t pushed up into my brain. Not any farther than a nasal spray would go, in fact.
@Alan Robertshaw:
The environment is a bit different, though. Taking moves to protect the environment has long been more popular than not doing so, at least in the West (not sure about elsewhere). Trying to make meaningful changes has resulted in entire industries spending billions on effectively vetoing those changes, and then shaming the general public for not taking meaningless, ineffective measures of their own instead. I don’t think that really counts as “we made this choice as a society”. Though one could argue that “we made the choice as a society not to oppose the idea that money = speech back in the 1980s and our children and grandchildren will pay the consequences of that”, which is a bigger-picture problem than just the environment. That’s blatantly unfair to the younger generations regardless, especially since some of them weren’t even born yet, as well as those few countries which didn’t go down that route but still have to deal with the larger-scale consequences of it.
At least meaningful changes have been happening in the past decade, just too slowly for this late date. That won’t stop the coming catastrophes, just soften the blows a little.
@ Surplus
“out of this and on the other side of it by now, as promised.”
Whoever made that promise to you (or anyone, really) was full of shit.
No human on this planet has that kind of control over COVID-19. Though I suspect you already knew that.
Alan:
Typo, or a sophisticated allusion to consuming fire?
(sorry)
@ lumipuna
Er, yeah, the sophisticated allusion one. Definitely not just a typo.
@ snowberry
Indeed. It has been good to see. I think some of that is younger people becoming more influential; but also that society generally is now seeing real effects of climate change on a personal level. It was easy to dismiss IPCC reports when they were warning of a dire, but seemingly far off, future. But when people find their house is unmortgageable or uninsurable because of flooding; or posh neighbourhoods get immolated in wildfires, then that has brought home the reality and urgency of it all. Well, a bit anyway. Still a lot of deniers unfortunately. Whether that’s a truly held belief or a shibboleth for the usual suspects I’ll leave as an exercise for the reader.
And I get what you mean about systemic issues. But when it comes to business, well those companies don’t operate in a vacuum. They have customers, and ultimately they supply the demand. Now obviously companies can create demands, or limit choices through other factors. What industries get subsidies is a big issue there. But often times we have a choice and for all sorts of reasons we may choose the less beneficial one for the world as a whole.
Like you say, plastic straws whilst an issue, are a minor factor in the grand scheme of things. Over 50% of plastic in the sea is from discarded fishing tackle. But, even though CITES have made it clear that’s an unsustainable industry, it currently supplies a demand. So quotas are far higher than the expert recommendations. Eventually we’ll just empty the seas of in demand species. We recognise that already with the trend to ‘sustainable’ alternatives. But again, it’s seeing the consequences unfold in real time that forced us into that. The first bits of environmental protection law arose only because people were being directly and obviously affected. So it took people dying in their thousands here from smog before we got the first clean air act.
But I see people who will support BDS, not cross a picket line, and boycott a business because of their political ideology. But if you point out some of their less optimal choices they will say there’s no ethical consumption under capitalism. Ultimately though, whilst choices may sometimes be limited, we do often have a choice. So we can’t pass the buck and avoid all personal responsibility. For example we should still wear masks, notwithstanding it’s the governments’ responsibility to get us all vaccinated and provide health care generally.
But as you say, when the chips are down, we can sometimes rally together and make the changes needed to mitigate the problems. We can be a very self destructive species, but we are also capable of great things.
To paraphrase Churchill: “You can always rely on humanity to do the right thing. Once it has exhausted all the alternatives.”
re overfishing and criminally reckless dumping of nets etc., I heard of a company called Finless Foods (iirc) working on producing palatable fish protein (their first target is tuna steaks, afaik) without actual fish (in fact come to think of it I
probablyalmost certainly mentioned this already, sorry).So much ingenuity, not to mention what seems to be a good grasp of how to deploy that ingenuity in practice, even under the current irrationality that is late-stage capitalism … 🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽
I got an inhaler for lung issues post COVID. This is a game changer. I can get up stairs again. Let’s go!