Bald Men and Donald Trump: The REAL victims of Will Smith’s slap?

You probably haven’t been wondering what good old A Voice for Men — yes, it’s still alive, if barely — has to say about Will Smith’s famous slap. But I’m going to tell you about it anyway, because I found it quite … educational?

The gist of Mark Dent’s overlong post on L’Affaire Smith is that the “Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues” actor wouldn’t have gotten away with the slap had he not been slapping another man in defense of his wife. And that’s undoubtedly true. We live in an age where such “chivalry” is still celebrated, at least by a chunk of the population. On our side of the political spectrum, we call outbursts like this examples of “toxic masculinity.”

Ah, but Dent’s essay offers more for anyone who wants to wade through all 2000 words of his pretentious prose. Since I can’t really expect anyone to do that voluntarily, let me provide you with a capsule version of Dent’s assessment of the true victims of the slap.

REAL VICTIM NUMBER ONE: Bald dudes.

When Chris Rock made a reference to Jada Pinkett Smith’s “G.I. Jane” haircut, he did so knowing that she suffered from hair loss due to alopecia, an issue pf particular sensitivity to black women, who are more likely to develop the disorder than their white counterparts.

But who is thinking of the suffering endured by dudes who go bald?

You see the thinking is women are not used to the idea of losing their hair and it is not a common occurrence for females particularly at a young age, whereas young men have endured this affliction since Adam was a boy.

Yet nobody explains why this makes it any easier for a teenage boy or man in his early twenties to watch his hair slowly recede or indeed quickly reveal his bald skull and always to the great amusement of his friends, work colleagues, sport teammates and the media

REAL VICTIM NUMBER TWO: TIny guys.

I’ve often argued that the argument about not hitting a woman being based upon size and strength differentials is a lie.

Tiny men can be beaten by huge men and nobody expresses the slightest concern about size and strength disparity. Such a disparity existed at the Oscars the other night.

REAL VICTIM NUMBER THREE: All men, at the hands of the “gutless” Chris Rock.

Rock let men down by deciding not to bring charges. This is not admirable. It is a gutless, weak response from a man who is scared he will be attacked a second time for calling out his abuse at the hands of a psychotic cuckold.

REAL VICTIM NUMBER FOUR: Donald Trump and his family, who have also been the butt of jokes from Hollywood types like Alec Baldwin and Bette Midler.

Think of the endless lectures from the scum that gather for these awards. Lectures about the poisonous, vile nature of a certain politician. Think of the hideous comments made about him, his wife and children. Nobody said they were offensive and disgusting. Not one person called them out as highly inappropriate. They laughed and cheered every vile word and threat of violence, be it spoken by demented De Niro, the killer Baldwin, Cher or Bette Midler.

TRUE VICTIM NUMBER FIVE: The soul of America.

Hollywood must die. It is an idea passed its used by date. Its narcissism, stark hypocrisy, sexual corruption and vile violent politics are a shit stain on the soul of America.

Well, that about covers it, I guess, though I would like to offer a little addendum on the behalf of the REAL REAL VICTIMS: All of those who’ve seen the following sentence from Dent’s post.

All of the strong, independent women were standing and applauding- dewy eyed and perhaps a little moist in another region as the batterer stood and accepted his Oscar … .

We really need to just ban the word “moist” altogether. That’s the real lesson I take from all this.

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