When a man resorts to violence to “defend the honor” of his wife or girlfriend from rude comments from another man, it’s worth asking if the violence really has anything to do with the woman in question.
Immediately after Will Smith whopped Chris Rock upside his head on live television Sunday night he yelled to Rock, who had made a quick joke about Jada Pinkett Smith’s shaved head, to “keep my wife’s name out of your fucking mouth.” But I don’t think the slap had much if anything to do with Rock mocking Pinkett Smiths hair — and implicitly the alopecia that led to her shaving her head in the first place.
No, I think what was really bothering Smith was the constant barrage of jokes about his admittedly complicated, and perhaps open, marriage. He was tired, I think, of being called a “cuck” because of his wife’s alleged infidelity (which may have only taken place during a time when the two were separated). After several jokes on the subject from the main stage at the Oscars, it seems he wanted to punch someone, and when Rock made his mean little joke he became that someone.
Smith wasn’t protecting his wife, who responded to the joke with an eye roll and nothing more; she didn’t tell him to do anything on her behalf. No, it looks to me like Smith was trying to assert his masculinity after having it questioned for years. Rock’s hair joke was the excuse, not the reason, for the slap. But if Smith hoped this show of “toxic masculinity” would convince people to stop calling him a “cuck” and worse, he was wrong.
Indeed, the insults flew faster than ever — especially among those who blame Pinkett Smith’s “infidelity” and Smith’s acquiescence to his alleged “cuckold” status, as the real reason for the slap. And that brings us to the Men’s Rights activists of Reddit, who came up with an explanation of events that is almost the polar opposite of mine — and in which Jada Pinkett Smith is the real villain.
Many of the commenters on the Men’s Rights subreddit took a perverse pleasure in calling Will Smith a “cuck,” a “simp” and a “punk ass bitch” who felt compelled to defend the honor of a woman who didn’t deserve either honor or a defense.
“What kind of man would try to defend his wife’s ‘honor’ when this same wife publicly cheats and humiliates him,” asked ninodelumbre.
I … think C. Rock was just trying to help W. Smith by showing him that he could do so much better then being attached to baldy the cheating wife.
“You cannot defend the honor of a woman who has none,” agreed asura227.
You accomplish nothing but making yourself look stupid. Will Smith – cuckold of the year 2022.
“I didn’t even realize they were still together,” snorted Jbr74.
I lost more respect for him staying with that sexually promiscuous, adulterating, philandering low-life piece of trash, gaslighting, narcissistic human being.
“She can take a dick but she can’t take a joke,” laughed kamenghost.
After quoting Smith, who yelled to Rock to “keep my wife’s name out of your fucking mouth,” TAPriceCTR declared “Man, keep other men’s cocks out of your wife’s damn mouth.”
Never mind that as far as we know, Jada had one relationship, with one man, during a time when she and Will were unofficially separated.
The cuck jokes never ended.
“Did Will get to fuck Jada last night, or only watch?” joked pushing-rope.
“Impotent cuckold rage was on full display,” added YourPillsAintWorkin.
Others argued that Smith was the real victim — of Pinkett Smith’s cuckolding.
After describing the two as “Hollywoods premier feminist couple” (?) , thread-starter NeoNotNeo declared that “Will proclaiming he was defending his family is BS. He hit a man because of his wife’s fragile ego.”
“I think Will Smith is pretty clearly in an abusive relationship.,” offered a DIY psychologist called Scrubadubdub82 in a comment that got nearly 300 upvotes.
I think this is what feminist abuse in a relationship looks like. Men being made to look foolish for the wife’s ego. Men feeling obligated to do their wife’s bidding. Being told you’re toxically masculine if you ever stand up for yourself, but told you’re not a real man if you ever let your wife have to deal with even the smallest slight herself.
One commenter wondered aloud why “a wealthy and successful male actor who has access to some of the most beautiful girls in the world [would] stay with an old bald female that cheats on him?”
“Don’t victim blame,” responded someone called Omz-bomz.”
There can be lots of reasons why.
Being in an abuse relationship doesn’t always allow you to take rational decitions, or to see how bad the situation really is. From what we know she is manipulative and abusive and gaslights him into thinking it’s his fault.
We know nothing of the sort. We know that their relationship is complicated, and that it has sometimes been bad. And that’s about it. But calling her all these things is classic Men’s Rights “activism” at its worst. Leave it to the MRAs to blame the only person in this triangular standoff who didn’t do anything wrong — just because she’s a woman with her own ideas how relationships should work.
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I have seen a lot of hot wrong takes from the internet in the past two days, but leave it to. The Manosphere to have the hottest, wrongest take of everything I’ve read! They never fail to disappoint in bringing together a great number of bigotries to bear on any topic.
I’m sure if I look hard enough I can even find some transphobia and homophobia in there somewhere, except I definitely do not want to look any closer at their foolish ideas than I have to.
Stay classy, guys!
/s
Yeah, I think this sums it up pretty well:
Did she insult anyone for no reason? Hit anyone? No…not in that particular incident anyway. But she’s a woman, so I guess that’s a good enough reason for MRAs to blame her.
IIRC, Will and Jada have an open marriage (and, it’s rumored, even threesomes; she’s openly bi, as is their daughter, and maybe him), and if he’s never slept with another person the whole time they’ve been married, I’ll eat my hat.
I hope she slapped HIM upside the head (verbally) when they got home for making such a spectacle of himself — and her — in front of their peers and on worldwide live TV.
I bet she could have slapped Chris Rock more effectively if she’d wanted to, but she’s smarter than that. She can defend her own honor. Probably with just a glare.
ISTM Will first honestly laughed at the joke till he turned to see she was upset.
Also, he made it all about him in his speech, ugggggh. Sure, you say God’s chosen you to promote peace and love 5 minutes after you just slapped and cussed out someone in front of literally the whole world. He only mentioned Venus and Serena in passing.
But everyone else should be relieved that no matter what dumbass clueless thing they’ve said about it, the MRA’s have made them look like a model of sensitivity.
(Have suspicions Will isn’t as Mr, Nice Guy as he pretends — going off like that seems like classic toxic masculinity, and certainly a lack of impulse control, particularly for a grown-ass man with two adult kids and a long career.)
One thing’s for sure: Chris Rock ain’t never going to say the real name of The Scottish Play again, LOL. There may be a ban on it for all Oscars going forward.
Looked more like a flinch to me than just an “eye roll.” Still: I will fault him only the slap itself (sorry, but: if you go after someone’s publicly-admitted sore spot, I will not fault either their spouse or the person themself for tearing you a new one verbally; it remains that if he couldn’t save it for later, he should have left it at “keep her name out of your fucking mouth” and kept his hands to himself). And, at any rate: last I checked, their marriage is at least somewhat open (not that these yahoos know the difference between that and infidelity).
@GSS ex-noob
One thing’s for sure: Chris Rock ain’t never going to say the real name of The Scottish Play again, LOL. There may be a ban on it for all Oscars going forward.
I’ve taken to referring to the Scottish Wizard Series.
@GSS
I’m not going to make assumptions about Will Smith as a person generally speaking. No one’s perfect and we put celebrities on unrealistic pedestals. That sort of thing and the general atmosphere, attitudes, and disconnect from the average person warps the way people at the top in Hollywood think. It’s neither healthy, nor acceptable, but it is understandable. Will fed his ego, because that’s what people like him have to do in Hollywood. They never look good when they do it in public, but they need to sell themselves relentlessly to get work in their field.
Chris Rock on the other hand, has needed an attitude adjustment for a long time. He’s made it obvious for a while that just talking to him wasn’t going to do the job. I would have preferred if the hit had been to his pocket book, not his face. Though if it had to be a smacking, Will really should have waited and delivered it backstage. Still that public slapping probably hit Chris in the ego hard enough, that he’s gonna think twice before kicking down in the future.
Now hopefully someone can hammer the same message home, with the likes Dave Chappelle. Preferably without a violent confrontation. Just using Chris Rock as an object lesson.
I suspect if a white actor had slapped Rock they’d be all about how the uppity bastard deserved it (unless it was more fun to slut-shame the wife).
@Natsume
I’m going to confess to being like 99% behind on pop culture, and always have been, due to various academic and professional reasons. Dave Chappelle did transphobic stuff, but what did Chris Rock do? All I can find is a bunch of people crying that he said mean things about mass shooters being white (which, lets face it… they are), and stuff saying he complained about cancel culture, which leads me to believe there was something he might have been getting cancelled for, but not what. Apparently also a big-time cheater on his wife, was that it? I can’t imagine someone getting cancelled for that.
Eh, if someone was talking about one of my partners that way, I might well react like Smith did. Frankly, Rock should count himself lucky he walked off that stage with all his teeth.
@David F.
But who called Jada a “vile feminist thug”?
Inquiring minds, etc.
@Big Titty Demon: Maybe he hasn’t updated his sense of humor since the early 2000’s? I don’t know, I haven’t heard much about him since then. I recall being kind of fond of the guy back then, though I would like to know as well.
This take is incorrect.
I don’t know which one is correct, but this one definitely isn’t.
@Battering Lamb:
There are others who think that Chris Rock isn’t the comedian he used to be.
But bad comedy or not, I don’t think that performance of Rock and Smith left anyone a winner.
Hahaha Chris Rock’s and Will Smith’s combined net worth is over 400 million dollars. Don’t worry men’s rightsters, I think they are going to be fine!
I see, so they’re all “women need Big Strong Violent Men to protect their honor”, until a man actually attempts this. Then suddenly she’s not worth the effort and he’s a fool and a simp.
If Jada had stood up for herself, they would have been calling her uppity, thuggish, mannish, degenerate, and worse. Apparently women are supposed to sit there and quietly absorb abuse, and men are supposed to…stand by and watch it happen? I’m not sure. MRAs have very strong opinions about human behavior, but none of them are consistent or make sense.
@Buttercup Q. Skullpants
“MRAs have very strong opinions about human behavior, but none of them are consistent or make sense.”
It’s actually called “diversity of opinion.” MRA’s not infrequently disagree with one another, with this open intellectual climate allowing them to create movements and theories uninhibited by petty squabbles and academic power-plays, such as those typically seen in “progressive” spaces.
I’m pretty sure Manosphereians think that men are supposed to perpetrate the abuse of women.
I won’t lie. My husband has thrown a few punches here and there in defense of me. But it hasn’t been because of something a man has said to me, it’s always been when a man put his hands on me. But I can understand why Will Smith did what he did. Especially if this is an issue that has really hurt Jada. Like if her hair lost has been something that’s made her cry a lot before and caused her a lot of pain.
I can see my husband doing something similar if someone made jokes about something sensitive to me. Like my miscarriages or something. It would have to be an issue that kept me up crying late into the night. Chris does need to shut the fuck up though.
I find it interesting that it never occurs to those people that maybe Jada and Will stay together because they love each other. You know, the old “for better or worse” sort of thing.
It brings to mind what I’ve notice before about the manospere. In their minds relationships and sex have no place for love. For them, it’s all about power.
@Big Titty Demon
Chris Rock has been all sorts of edgy and terrible for years. He’s fairly well known for using racism in a way that promotes racist stereotypes and encourages it. He made some really racist jokes about a trio of young East Asians who were getting honored for something at the 2016 academy awards. Using stereotypical names that were incorrect iirc for two. Then threw in antisemitism by giving the last one stereotypical Jewish name. Then badly tried to preempt backlash by making another racist joke about Asians. He pulled the stereotypical defense of having a porn addiction as an excuse for being a bad husband and all around a-hole by his own admission. The list just goes on and on. Especially with how frequently he’s been horrifically ableist .
Needless to say Chris Rock has basically built his career on being tasteless, unnecessarily edgy and offensive, and just being an all around jerk in general. Using race as a shield and always with some excuse to justify his behavior, when he obviously actually knows better. It’s infuriating, especially when behavior like his splashes back on to non-white folk and he’s used as an excuse, mostly by white people to justify racism for a variety of reasons.
I know how I would feel if I were getting teased/mocked for a physical issue in front of other people, and I know how Mr. Parasol would react (no punching – he’s tall enough that he can be physically intimidating), but I don’t know enough about Will and Jada Smith to judge that particular exchange of looks between them.
I did see the Chris Rock bit before he got to the GI Jane 2 joke, and to me it felt like he was dying on stage – the jokes didn’t seem to be landing as well as he’d hoped, and the vibe I got was that he was trying to go bigger or bolder or whatever to get the audience back where he wanted them. Anybody else feel that way?
Chris Rock does have form here. When Jada boycotted the Oscars because all the nominees were white…
As to the fundamental issue, I think really the only person whose opinion matters is Jada.
But so long as she’s cool with it I have no problem with Will Smith physically standing up for her. Words can cause pain so I don’t see how people can complain that they might attract pain in response. If you pick a fight you can’t really dictate what weapons the victim or their representative chooses to fight back with.
@GSS ex-noob:
Venus and Serena? As in, the tennis players? Or someone else? How are they involved in this? There was no mention of their involvement in David’s article.
What Scottish play?
I feel like there’s some context here that I’m missing …
@BTD:
He can’t have been cancelled too hard if he was up on the Oscars stage telling crappy, downward-punchy jokes …
@BQS:
Join in, most likely. :/
@Otrame:
Nail. Head.
Also, status (but then, that’s a form of power, or a means to that end anyway).
Sex and love themselves are positive sum when done right. The zero-sum things that are often associated with them are time and attention (which can become an issue in poly relationships even if everyone in them is a decent person) and status (if you see women as positional goods, then you need to possess yours exclusively to derive status). These creeps, of course, do see women as positional goods, and that’s where much of their obsession with cuckoldry comes from, and with who’s a “real man”.
Treating people as things …
@Victorious Parasol:
If there’s any justice, it’s a sign that audiences are increasingly hostile to that sort of downward-punching “humor” and would rather he poked fun at Putin, or fatcat bankers, or greedy telcos, or some such worthy target instead.
Or whoever it was (Doug Ford?) who botched Ontario’s COVID response. The Omicron wave is supposed to be subsiding, but case counts stopped dropping a week or two ago and now seem to be trending distinctly upward again.
Why??? And when the hell will it be safe* to do simple ordinary things like go out for a cheeseburger again?
* Well, I know safety is relative, and muggings and car accidents and E. coli are a thing, so read this as “as safe as it was in 2019”.
@ surplus
Chris Rock mentioned the Scottish Play earlier in the evening. That brings bad luck.
More context here.